Such a hard decision (Newest Update On Daisy Not good news with blood results)

 I would look at her quality of life. If she's still enjoying herself, talk to the vet about meds and management. *hugs*

 Sending hugs to you..  It is hard to see our best friends get older.  Just see what the Vet has to offer rather than listening to those around you.  The Vet has years of education and experience and is much more qualified to offer help. 

I'm sorry it's taking on "drama of family and friends" -- the decision is hard enough just trying to make it with your vet.

It is YOUR decision ... you and the vet.  It's **not** the decision of family who really would rather not be bothered with an old dog, and for whom "not putting her through that" is merely a way of saying "I don't want to deal with it and she was never incontinent before". 

The vet can guide you on quality of life if **YOU** can tell the vet what you are willing to do.  There are ways of managing arthritis -- things like rimadyl (you can have a choice of a few things -- but do give her milk thistle so it doesn't compromise her liver -- milk thistle will help the NSAID work better).  There are ways of managing the incontinence (bitches britches with human continence pads in them,  restricting her to an area where you can clean up more easily). 

I have often gone on far longer with an elderly dog than most folks will but we don't mind the extra work, effort, and expense.  There is a point where you decide whom to listen to -- and then do that, but don't then let everyone else make you miserable.  If **you** decide to go further with her, then nicely but firmly say "Dr. _________ and I have discussed it, and we see no reason why her arthritis and incontinence can't be managed a while longer, so that's what I'm going to do. "  Then do that.  Don't argue with anyone else -- if you let them they WILL make you crazy.

If you decide, with the vet's input, that it's time, then again - it's YOUR decision.A lot of times we invite interference from family because it's easy to moan and groan about something inconvenient, or if we allow it to impact other people we live with.  And sometimes we have allowed other people to dictate to us -- and we wind up bowing to their pressure when we don't want to. 

For me it was a matter of simply learning to say (particularly to my parents) "this is what I'm going to do" -- despite their admonition to "put her to sleep and get another one".  If you just try to justify back or if you just dissolve into tears they feel justified in "helping you" make a decision. 

Does that make sense?  I'm not trying to micromanage your life and YOU are the only one who can see your live and hers.  Getting the counsel of your vet is the right thing to do -- and learning how to manage family so they don't make you crazy is a lifetime endeavor (my mother still tries it and I'm almost 60 and she lives 1500 miles away.  Guilt -- it's the gift that just keeps ON giving ... and giving ... and *sigh* GIVING.  Families are good at that.)

(((hugs))) You have to do what's right for her, and what's right for you. I think everyone who said talk it over with your vet is right. What can medication due to help, but you also have to consider whether it would cause any further issues? Ultimately, the decision is between you and your vet if you should choose to put her down, or up to you if you choose to let her go naturally. It's never easy, and what's right for you might not be right for the next person. I hope you have some more clarity when you see the vet. 

Yes, such a hard decision :(. We went thru this last year with Buffy. She was having so much trouble getting around and it was heartbreaking. I prayed that she'd pass peacefully in her sleep. Because she'd been DH's dog before I even met him, I knew it wasn't fair to push him into a decision. One day it became too obvious to ignore and he agreed. It was still heartbreaking but we both knew that the life she loved no longer existed and she was hurting terribly.

I hope your vet can either help you manage her pain or help you come to terms with the next step. We're all here for you. (((Hugs)))

 Oh gosh, I am so sorry you feel stuck in this place.  Emotions take over and we can't seem to THINK!

Once you get over that, then you start to gather information.  Some of this will come from the vet: is she is pain, and if so can we manage the pain?  Does she need wheels?  Do we have to carry her up and down stairs to get in and out of the house.  Is she eating and drinking ok?  Does she show interest in (food, toys, sniffing in the grass, lying in the sunshine, whatever it is that she has enjoyed recently, just till in the blank).  I think someone on here had described a "three things" approach when someone else was in a similar situation.

 After you have gathered the necessary details, THEN you make a decision.  It will take both Daisy and you into account -- NOT the whole world of family, friends, and strangers in the street.   In this way, you are more likely to be at peace with your decision, whether it is for wheels and pain management, or for some other route.  The vet "may" have another option, you just have to wait for that appt to learn more specifics.

 You've done this before, many times in your life: made a decision.  Some are easy (what flavor ice cream?) some are tough, but the process is something you are familiar with and THAT will give you comfort -- or at least, it does me -- once the emotional response subsides.

Meantime, take some deep breaths, enjoy a cuppa, and enjoy your girl Daisy.  Sending you calming vibes and patience, as you go through this.

Oh sweetie ((((Hugs)))) I HATE this part of life. HATE it.  However, only your heart can tell you the right thing.  You know your dog the best.

 I went through this very same thing this summer with Lexi.  I believed I couldn't do it. She was plugging along ok, just 'ok' she became incontinent, so I put a poise incontinence pad in a pair of puppy panties for her and that worked pretty well, especially overnight.

She didn't have arthritis yet, but she had heart failure and was on 3 meds for that.  She continued to plug along, some bad days here and there, and then eventually, no more good days.

How is Daisy's quality of life?  For Lexi ,always the proud, dignified lady, she was embarrassed at all her accidents.  She also spent a lot more time with her head/neck stretched out so she could breathe.

Is Daisy terminal? Is there a chance she could 'get better' (age considered)?

Lexi was terminal.  When it came to where she could hardly walk, (wobble and trip is more like it) and the sadness in her eyes over accidents, the desperation in her eyes about trying to breathe... Could I NOT help her over the bridge? Wasn't I being selfish about wanting to keep her here with me.

At this point she likely had days (or less) left.  We had an 'Indy 500' experience with Gobie when his heart failure came to a sudden extreme.  I didn't want to put her through that panic and fear. 

One day you will just know.  I can't explain it, but you will.  It sucks and it's the hardest thing I've had to do in my life (this is pet #4 that I've helped over the bridge).  I know it will have to happen again and again, because life lived without my animals isn't worth much, to me.

This is purely anecdotal on my part, my own experience with my most special dog ever. No other dog can ever replace her, ever. She knew me and I knew her. She was perfection. 

Look into your heart. Try a few things for Daisy, see how she does and then make the choice.  As for others, I agree, tell them that you and Dr. Soandso think she's doing ok with the incontinence and arthritis (metacam has worked well for Darby's dysplasia, btw).

Just want to send you love and hugs.  Senior years are both comforting and scary as hell.

Tiffani

Thank you everyone. 

In my eyes the only problems I see is her pacing but that only started once she had her eyes removed and now it is getting hard for her to get up and then she is having accidents. With those issues everyone else sees it as it's time for her to go. I don't know its almost as if I would be putting her down because I don't want to deal with picking up her accidents. I got so many things running through my head I don't know what to think or do.

I have had Daisy since I was 17 I'm almost 34 now I don't know how to let go if there is a reason to let her go. Daisy eats fine and drinks like normal the things she does now is different from when she had her eyes when she lost her eyes she changed but I don't mind she's my Daisy.  I don't want to be selfish and I don't want her to suffer but if I have to let her go I don't think I could do it.

Family issue is mostly my moms aunt and uncle. Telling me she paces I see her pace that is not normal it's like hello one she's a dog two she has no eyes to see what do you except, well my moms aunt said she shouldn't be pacing she should be sleeping more blah blah it's almost like because she's 16 has no eyes she should just sleep all day. Then she's having accidents that's not normal she's not able to hold it in. So what I told her is so when you get to the point you can't hold it in anymore we should put you down? Of course her answer is yes. I hold back from what I really want to tell them because I know if I said what I really want they would never speak to my mom again and that would hurt my mom.

I'm a complete mess now just thinking about it. Is it Monday yet? I may write what I want to ask the vet because I'm sure I'll be sobbing and he won't understand a word I'm trying to say. Thank you everyone for the advice and kind words.

shamrockmommy

How is Daisy's quality of life?  For Lexi ,always the proud, dignified lady, she was embarrassed at all her accidents.  She also spent a lot more time with her head/neck stretched out so she could breathe.

Is Daisy terminal? Is there a chance she could 'get better' (age considered)?

Daisy is very proud and she has always been Independent Daisy always did it her way or it was no way it's just the way she is she is boss lady around here. I will found out if it's terminal. I'm sure their want to do a senior panel on her she had one done last year blood work was great.  When Daisy is walking she's fine but it's standing and getting up. I was told by the vet she had arthritis in her spine, I'm thinking she might also have a pinched nerve.  If she's having accidents I'm sure she's not getting sensations down below because Daisy would never do it in the house. Daisy is one to not play with toys none of my dogs do even though I have bought them so many toys they never had interest in them. Only thing Daisy played was catching the soccer ball but she can't see that now and if I try to roll a ball to her she sniffs it and walks away.

Daisy has always been when she wants something she'll come to you. Daisy is food obsessed as I said she really couldn't care about anything but getting food or a bone. Growing up Daisy was spoiled with treats. This just breaks my heart.

 Dipstick is 17 (or 18..I can't remember which right now) and he has some mobility issues, sometimes has accidents. His hearing is selective and his eye sight is going a bit. When I brought him into the vet, we did an xray on his spine to see if there was any sign of arthritis, turns out he had a degenerated disc and it was just to painful for him to get up and make it outside.

When you take her in tomorrow, ask for an xray of her spine to find out exactly what's wrong. Dipstick is managed with medications and he hasn't had an accident in months.  He also LOVES his food so I know that when he doesn't come dancing at me for his dinner, it's time. 

I know it's hard, I had THE talk with Dipstick's owner over the summer when we were doing all the tests. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, in the mornings I check Dipstick's breathing cuz he sleeps so soundly. 

And if your family says that Daisy should be sleeping more because she's old should watch the video of my old man playing fetch. He keeps up with my young guys and sleeps at night. 

 Heartbreaking decision you have to make. I pray everyday that I don't have to decide, but I would. To me its about quality of life, when that is gone I'll know its time. I'm so very sorry for you.

tiffy

To me its about quality of life, when that is gone I'll know its time.

Sometimes it's not that cut & dried.  It has honestly been a different set of criteria with every single dog I've ever had.  Foxy's decline was hard, fast, and "no doubt".  There was suddenly this 2 week period and when he was "done" he WAS done.  He just stopped doing *everything* -- but I honestly think he had such  a strong personality HE controlled that.

With Ms. Kee Shu it was THE hardest decision I've ever had to make.  Because for her "quality of life" had not one whit to do with running, playing, or activity.  It was never part of her life -- she'd had a HARD life before us and the things she valued were things like FOOD.  Now -- she got so blind she couldn't **find** her bowl but once that little face got in the bowl there was NO doubt how much she enjoyed her food and how much she wanted it!!!  Because of the prior abuse -- it took her a long long time to physically accept affection -- and surprisingly that came very very late.  She was incontinent and I bathed her like 4 times a day (yes, I'm serious) -- but that dog **ENJOYED** that cuddle time in a warm towel after she was clean.  It was absolutely amazing how much she bonded to *me* in the last 10 months of her life.  She learned to "snuggle in" and truly enjoy that.  So there was no way of not counting that as 'quality of life'.  But finally -- she let me know and refused food.  For her that was **HUGE**.  But David and I kinda argued for months because I didn't want to let her go 'too long'. 

Some people have lists -- like "when the dog can no longer do the things they enjoy" -- which is perfect.  But ... with every dog I've ever had that changed.  In the twilight times very often what they used to enjoy morphs into something else.  And they may enjoy the new things -- like enjoying one particular 'spot" of sunshine that is somehow just *better* than any other bit of sunshine on the floor in the house -- or getting to go in the car.  One time that may have signaled "the park" and later it may signal "looking out the window at new stuff". 

Yet again -- when there is pain or sickness -- it's again a different set of criteria.  With Ms. Socks -- it wasn't that every waking moment was painful -- but the cancer within her had begun to rupture in "bursts" that were INCREDIBLY painful... and preventing even one more became paramount.  Freedom from pain -- that, at times, is a whole different measuring stick. and again it can be a tough one to discern.

Does that make sense? 

((Hugs)) I know how you are feeling, many of us do.  Just know what ever you decide is right for you and Daisy we will be here for support.