so "you" would rather punish the poster?

I personally don't think there is ever, ever any excuse for one of us to say something mean to another one of us.  If there is a thread where this is occurring, I will not post a word on it.

Some people get off on acrimony and love to start the word wars on boards around the web.  Responding to them is like being an enabler to their poison.   

Okay... Im wary of posting this, but here goes...

Mudpuppy when there was recently a new member her with a pet shop puppy all excited to have a dog and to be a new memeber here your response was IMO unfair.

You just said they had supported the abuse of animals and that their dog was likely going to have physical, mental and social problems... difficult to housebreak and that was it.

That person then responded saying they had no idea and if they had known they would have never bought it but mentioned how much your post had "lowered their spirits"... and the defense was "eductaing people".... I just dont get it.  

I wonder why we havnt seen that person around here lately...

Im sorry to point you out (not a personal thing) its just a recent thing that serves as an example for my point here... Everyone SHOULD care about the OP, I agree you can talk to the lurkers as well, but the OP is the member here and the one you are speaking to...

Now because we choose to "educate" people in that manner... they wont be back... and I guarantee you will be FAR less "educated" about dog ownership, health, temperment, etc and not get lots of good info because they did not return.

I cant help but feel by "educating" them some of you are really without knowing stopping them from learning anything.... totally the opposite of "educating."

I just know that I would have never came back if I had been one of the ones who was bashed for something upon joining... and I cant explain how much Ive learned and how grateful I am... so that would have really been sad.  I feel its a terribly sad thing when new members are treated in a way that causes them not to return.

Some are so quick to be "omg you dont know that already!  Well your crazy blah bla blah..."  Remember everyone has to learn sometime... we are lucky to know what we know and should never treat others who have not had the opportunity to learn yet negatively.

I realize some people ask for this and deserve it but a lot of the time its just harsh. 

ORIGINAL: dogslyfe

I think there are two parts to this thing. For one, I believe as intelligent and compassionate people we CAN share our opinions and knowlege without personally demeaning the poster. There is a huge difference between saying "I think breeding a dog under ____ circumstances is wrong because ___" and Saying, "I can't belive you bred your dog without____. You don't even deserve to have a dog. If you can't do ____ for your dog, I can't even imagine how you treat your kids."

Totally agree. And another one I see often that is totally uncalled for is "You can't even spell ______, so you shouldn't be doing _____" Okay, so it may be true but what purpose does saying it in that manner serve?

ORIGINAL: loveukaykay

Okay... Im wary of posting this, but here goes...

Mudpuppy when there was recently a new member her with a pet shop puppy all excited to have a dog and to be a new memeber here your response was IMO unfair.

You just said they had supported the abuse of animals and that their dog was likely going to have physical, mental and social problems... difficult to housebreak and that was it.

That person then responded saying they had no idea and if they had known they would have never bought it but mentioned how much your post had "lowered their spirits"... and the defense was "eductaing people".... I just dont get it.  

I wonder why we havnt seen that person around here lately...

Im sorry to point you out (not a personal thing) its just a recent thing that serves as an example for my point here... Everyone SHOULD care about the OP, I agree you can talk to the lurkers as well, but the OP is the member here and the one you are speaking to...

Now because we choose to "educate" people in that manner... they wont be back... and I guarantee you will be FAR less "educated" about dog ownership, health, temperment, etc and not get lots of good info because they did not return.

I cant help but feel by "educating" them some of you are really without knowing stopping them from learning anything.... totally the opposite of "educating."

I just know that I would have never came back if I had been one of the ones who was bashed for something upon joining... and I cant explain how much Ive learned and how grateful I am... so that would have really been sad.  I feel its a terribly sad thing when new members are treated in a way that causes them not to return.

Some are so quick to be "omg you dont know that already!  Well your crazy blah bla blah..."  Remember everyone has to learn sometime... we are lucky to know what we know and should never treat others who have not had the opportunity to learn yet negatively.

I realize some people ask for this and deserve it but a lot of the time its just harsh. 

In all fairness though, there are a LOT of people who leave because they are not told what they want to hear. 

IMHO, there is far more value in being honest, though maybe not brutal, then sugar coating everything so that people's feelings don't get hurt.

I personally think it is unfair to single out a particular poster and then BLAME them for someone's leaving.  I'm sorry, but there have been posters that have made me downright mad as heck, yet I have not left the sight.  There are MANY people who join and then just leave, and I'd be willing to bet that the majority of their departures have nothing to do with mudpuppy.

I have gotten what some would condsider some very blunt advice about Sally and what I have expected of her, and you know what?  It one of the best things that has happened to us training wise.  It helped me relax and change my way of thinking and has helped her tremedously, and honestly we would not have reached some of the milestones that we have reached without other members giving me an additude adjustment of sorts.

I originally posted the topic looking for "there, there, it will be OK" responces, and instead got the responces that I REALLY nedded to hear.

I see often that is totally uncalled for is "You can't even spell ______

I have to admit I've been guilty of this... but in my defense, it wasn't really about the spelling issue, it was in response to a vulgar, rude original posting, and I felt the need to take on a duty to bring this "person" down a few notches... the spelling thing was just an easy target at which to aim my flame.  
Should I apologize?  well, i do bow and apologize when I feel i've hurt or wronged someone, but in the case I'm pointing out, I feel I was justified in calling out what I did... and I wouldn't take it back, under Those circumstances.
Shall that OP never return?  I think we'd all just be blessed not to endure the return of that particular one, and I believe there were requests to have that poster yanked from having the right to post here anyway...
 
 

I did attempt to add in my post that I was not meaning to personally single out mudpuppy but rather use a recent occurence as an example.  Those of you who choose to ignore that part of the post so be it... its there if you choose to read it.
 
Mudpuppy as I have said before... I like everyone here, you included and I didnt not mean to in any way blame you for those leaving or that person in particular.  I was just providing an example of what happens sometimes with new people. 
 
As I also said I was wary of posting but I find that I often hold my tounge here for 1) fear of hurting someones feeling and 2)fear of being attacked myself.
 
Well I decided to not do that this time for better or worse...
 
I can totally agree that some people leave just because they didnt hear what they wanted... I have even said that to someone in a recent post! 
 
This statement : "There are MANY people who join and then just leave, and I'd be willing to bet that the majority of their departures have nothing to do with mudpuppy. " 
*Seems to be more on an attempt to fuel a fire thats not even there.  I dont see how you took that from my post but hey... to each his own[8|]

ORIGINAL: loveukaykay

I did attempt to add in my post that I was not meaning to personally single out mudpuppy but rather use a recent occurence as an example.  Those of you who choose to ignore that part of the post so be it... its there if you choose to read it.

Mudpuppy as I have said before... I like everyone here, you included and I didnt not mean to in any way blame you for those leaving or that person in particular.  I was just providing an example of what happens sometimes with new people. 

As I also said I was wary of posting but I find that I often hold my tounge here for 1) fear of hurting someones feeling and 2)fear of being attacked myself.

Well I decided to not do that this time for better or worse...

I can totally agree that some people leave just because they didnt hear what they wanted... I have even said that to someone in a recent post! 

This statement : "There are MANY people who join and then just leave, and I'd be willing to bet that the majority of their departures have nothing to do with mudpuppy. " 
*Seems to be more on an attempt to fuel a fire thats not even there.  I dont see how you took that from my post but hey... to each his own[8|]

 
Sorry, but mentioning someone's name, IMO, is singling them out.  Would you appreciate having you name being mentioned in a similar way?  I'm not attacking you, I just don't think you are helping your cause by naming names, that's all.
 
 
BTW, if being a good speller is a critieria for being a good dog owner, I'm done for.....

I give up.

ORIGINAL: All Dogs Heaven

I see often that is totally uncalled for is "You can't even spell ______

I have to admit I've been guilty of this... but in my defense, it wasn't really about the spelling issue, it was in response to a vulgar, rude original posting, and I felt the need to take on a duty to bring this "person" down a few notches... the spelling thing was just an easy target at which to aim my flame.  
Should I apologize?  well, i do bow and apologize when I feel i've hurt or wronged someone, but in the case I'm pointing out, I feel I was justified in calling out what I did... and I wouldn't take it back, under Those circumstances.
Shall that OP never return?  I think we'd all just be blessed not to endure the return of that particular one, and I believe there were requests to have that poster yanked from having the right to post here anyway...

The particular post I#%92m referring was a while back and said something like – You can#%92t even spell dachshund, you sure shouldn#%92t be breeding them.

Give me a break. That#%92s a tricky word (I think the OP had it dashchund) and that post absolutely served no purpose.

I think that was one of one or two responses to a post looking (I think) for whelping advice. The OP never came back. Gee, I wonder why.

Yeah, I'm a horrible speller.  I try to check for errors, but my own internal spell checker isn't that great either.....

I just found the thread that seemingly ignited this one (although I realize there are tons of others that could have easily raised this concern, too.)
None of us will ever get the full picture of eachother's lives and dogs' lives by 2-sentance posts to this forum.  It seems only fair if you think someone is posting something questionable...to ask questions.  Solicit some information to figure out what's going on with the dog and what sort of help the dog and owner need.  The best leaders out here seem to do that.  Engaging in a conversation will help suss out who is spamming/trolling and who is genuinely in need of help.

I have to say here that I really like Mark's idea of explaining why you wouldn't feed a certain ingredient instead of just saying "I wouldn't give that crap to my dog." Explaining to a new poster that your dog (or some dogs) don't do well with corn, are allergic to a specific ingredient or get skin issues from something else goes a lot farther toward educating someone than just telling them that the food they're using is *crap*.  Besides, what some dog owners consider crap, other dogs need for the specific food issues they have.

Joyce