Getting Over Death of Old Dog to Bond With New Dog...

Yep, those are all Jackie's and she gets to take them to work sometimes too!

Luna 'n Tink WORK at being cute.  Never thought 3 years ago when we went 1000 miles to 'rescue' Tink that we were bringing home a dog for the bassett/beagle mix, but that's apparently what we did!  Not even close in age nor size but the pug's got Luna's ear stuffed in her mouf 90% of the time dragging Luna all over the house (and Luna's twice her size).

Well, that's cool. My grandmother owned a "Pitbull" looking boy dog and this dainty little Collie girl. They both came up to her house in the country as strays about the same time. They got along pretty well from the start, but the little girl became the alpha one. Sometimes she wanted to be alone with my grandmother in a room and she would barely snarl at the boy dog in the room's doorway and he would freeze in place and then gradually back away. Usually, though, they were great friends and loved each other. They were a joy to be around and very funny to watch.

Wow @ 1000 miles!

Check out these links to get started on clicker training.  

http://www.clickertraining.com/

http://www.dogmantics.com/Dogmantics/Home.html

Look for videos by kikopup on youtube. 

Louisa

Wow @ 1000 miles!

*smile*  A friend of mine does pug rescue in Austin, Tx and they took Tink in on a neglect case.  If you go to my profile and then my pictures you will see the horrible pics of how she looked then.  My husband and I tend to do "sick dog rescue" and we're particularly good at demodectic mange and I help folks all over the country with it.  We knew if we could get her *here* we could get her better.  So we made it happen and I got to actually "meet" Rita at the same time (an internet friend I'd known for like 7-8 years but had never 'met';).  So that's how we spent our 4th of July long weekend that year LOL.

We've not been sorry a second ... she's got the makings of a GREAT therapy dog (often when an animal has been thru something life-threatening, if they are at all good-spirited, it can give them a huge affinity for sick kids).  Both David and I have always been attracted to pugs so it was a good excuse I guess LOL. 

BTW -- Jackie knows her stuff with training ... let her guide you on this.  she's GOOD.  Several of the girls on here are really into clicker training -- they're good at sharing that knowledge.

Jackie your posts in this thread are incredible!  So much wisdom and thoughtfulness!

To the OP I certainly can understand how bonded you were with your previous girl and I think in time you will have an amazing bond with this girl - once you are taking her for who she is and not comparing her to your heart dog.

My current dog has been a challenge since day one and his puppyhood nearly killed my husband and I but someone on here told me that the dogs that challenge us the most are the ones we bond with the strongest. Now as he approaches 6 I have such a deep understanding of that statement. My bond with him is such now that the hole that will be left when he leaves us will rival the Black Hole.  

My only thoughts are to work on your inner thoughts and try to catch yourself thinking "Midnight never did this" or "why can't Cinnabon settle like Midnight" etc.  I can totally understand how that is normal but it isn't helpful to you as you move on and it isn't fair to Cinnabon.  When you look at Cinnabon only see her 

In the meantime lots of hugs and I am sorry for the loss of your Midnight

I am just catching this thread.  I know that you can clearly see why we are more like a family than just a forum.  I too have had many dogs in my lifetime, but until we brought Shadow home none taught us the way he did.  I loved them all but he was sent to us for a special reason.  He was taken away from us at the age of 4 years and 2 months to cancer.   He fulfilled his mission in life of making us the best of pet parents.  He was both my hubby's and my heart dog.   We were careful to avoid mistakes or training errors that we realized we had made with our previous pets.  We introduced him to the water, the leash, puppy classes, riding in the car etc.  We found out about his cancer on New years eve and he told us on Jan 21 that it was time to let him go.   Until that day he made every effort to play ball and catch weiners and go to town with hubby.  We thought it odd that he chose a very cold snowy day to tell us it was time to let him go to the bridge and it wasnt until a few weeks later that I understood why.  We were devistated but with the help of this family, I was able to cope and to let him go.  He taught us so very much, he loved us, as much as we loved him.  He loved everyone he met and was the most social dog you could imagine.  It was hard to talk about him to hubby because he was just a torn up as I was, so I relied on my friends here to let me grieve and release my pain.  

Part 2;  A couple of weeks later the silence of no paws in the house was killing me.  We had decided no more Rotties for many reasons but mainly we had lost 2 precious Rotties at a young age due to medical problems.  Soooo against my hubby's wishes I was browsing petfinder.com for shelter  dogs in a 100 mile area.  We had already discussed the types of dogs we might look at to adopt with a Newfoundland  X or Berner X as possibilities due to their demeaner.  Hubby is disabled and we would need a large dog that would be less hyper.  All the sudden this little fluffy mix boy was on the site.  I was drawn to him for some unknown reason.  Yes he was cute but there was something else.  He was 75 miles away and I called about him.  He had been found by a sick elderly woman the night of a very bad snow storm.... showed up on her porch, she was to sick to go out and get him so she called  a friend of hers that fostered dogs for the local humane society.   Long story short...he was already mine in my heart, convinced hubby to go look because the foster mother believed he might have some Newfie in him because of his calm personality at such a young age.   Guy...named changed to Rocky...came home with us.   I found out that he mysteriously arrived on this woman's front porch no more that just a few hours after our Shadow crossed the bridge.  To this day I firmly believe that Shadow knew we were ready to take on this puppy and that he chose him for us.  He knew we would never consider adding another dog as long as he was with us. 

Part 3;  Rocky  is not like Shadow at all but is such a special boy.  3 months later we were asked to take Hot Shot 3 year old abused Bernese Mountain dog.  Had Shadow not taught us so well we would never have been equiped to handle the care and training of this sweet  abused 125 lb. Berner.   Shadow educated us and that was his job here on earth, now he watches over us and he sent us the boys he knew would be perfect for this time in our life.  Neither are like him and neither are like each other but they have their own special qualities and they have their own jobs in our family unit.

Do we still miss Shadow, oh yes definately.  We can however talk about him and laugh at his antics and recall very precious memories.  I still well up with tears sometimes, but our lives are so full with the love of Rocky and Hot Shot a special gift from Shadow.

Your girl Cinnabon :) love the name was not your first choice really and it is sad about the demise of the brother and the other dogs you looked at.   I do firmly believe certain pets are given to certain familes for a reason.  I think your Midnight led you to your decision based on the events.  She knew as much as you loved her, you would need a companion that could fulfill your social needs.  One that could enjoy people, traveling and yes maybe even Therapy training.  You and your family have different lives now that your daughter has grown and she chose a very special girl to help you through the next cycle of life.  She is not replacing Midnight....she was chosen by Midnight to protect and love her family.

You may think I am a crazy old lady but that is indeed the way I see it.

How interesting! I didn't even know about it. I am anxious to start with it. Thanks so much

You have a lot of GREAT pictures!  I am amazed at the condition poor Tink was in compared to how she looks now. You work MIRACLES and what a gift to be able to alleviate such suffering.  How did you get interested in animal therapy work? btw- it must have been very interesting to meet someone irl that you had communicated with for so long on the net. I met a couple of very distant cousins that way through genealogy forums after communicating for 2-3 years and it was so cool. 

Jackie just gave me some great links about clicker training. Have you gotten into that yet? 

 It's nice to have found this forum. It seems to have many warm and helpful people- and people with different kinds of knowledge to share.

Hi Shadowsgin- Thank you for your great post. Shadow was beautiful- and so are Rocky and Hot Shot. Shadow sounds like he was a joy to know. I just uploaded some pics of my dog- but not sure what section they went to, lol. I'll get the various sections and procedures figured out eventually.

Your beautiful story made me cry. Thank you so much for sharing it. It seems that this was the right place for me to post because each post has given me something special and everyone has helped more than they can know.

No, I don't think you're crazy at all. I believe in an afterlife for people and animals and I believe they protect us and guide us like angels. So, if you're crazy, I would fit into that category too, lol.  No, that was not just a coincidence that Rocky was found on that particular stormy night and you found him at just the right time out of all those pet profiles. I see what Rocky gave to you in four very special years. In just the past day it seems my sorrow has lifted a lot and I am seeing things with a new perspective. That is because of you and other posters who posted to my thread. I really have no idea why I typed in dog forums and made that thread- because I never go to forums. It's really what I needed to do though.

I think you are right that Cinnabon was meant for me and that Midnight would lead me to the right decision. You are also right that a more sociable dog is right for this time in my life. Just this morning as I was taking Cinnabon for a walk, a male Border Collie was loose in the neighborhood and barking at us. At one point he rany up close to Cinnabon and they sniffed each other for a moment and then he bounded away. If Midnight had been with me she would have attacked and it would have been a terrible incident. That's why I had to always be so careful and could never walk Midnight in the neighborhood or without another family member along to scare off potential strays. 

I'm sure that I will have many happy times with Cinnabon, and as I said, my perspective is now changing and I am channeling my grief in a more productive way.

I'm glad you like the name. It seems to suit her-- :)

Thanks again for sharing your experience. Shadow's story really helped me.

I love your dog's picture. Labs are so cute.

So far, this dog has been pretty easy. I was concerned at first that Cinnabon might have anxiety issues- but that seems to be subsiding. I'm so happy that you have such a bond with your dog. So many people just give up and discard dogs that are difficult in the beginning. I'm glad that you were the rare type of person to stay dedicated and now you have your reward.

Thanks so much for the encouragement. This forum is such a helpful place, as one poster said- more like a family. I'm really touched that you all would take the time to post your own experiences, insights and advice.

Wow, you've already gotten a ton of great responses, but it's crazy how much of your first post I could have written, down to the under-socialized reactive/aggressive dog. I had Cherokee for 10 years, and I was just as bonded to her as it sounds like you were to Midnight. I got her when I was 11, and she literally got me through my adolescent years. My entire world crashed down when she was diagnosed with cancer in the beginning of September of 2009, and given a prognosis of "keep her comfortable for weeks to months." November 30th I had to have her euthanized, and it felt like half of ME was just gone.

Somehow the next June I decided it was a good idea to get another dog...I thought I was ready, and I thought it would help. I went to an LA county shelter and ended up adopting a 1 year old Aussie/pit mix, who I named Juno. At first, I just liked her...she was cute and funny and super sweet. But I didn't love her. She wasn't MINE. And she was a total pain in the BUTT. She chewed everything, she wasn't house-trained, and her behavior was seriously like an 8 week old puppy, except not as quick of a learner. She was utterly & totally clueless. If I was just a little less committed to the belief that adopting an animal is for LIFE, I would have given her up. I didn't want her. It feels horrible to admit that, especially since I never ONCE in 10 years felt like that about aggressive, can't-take-anywhere Cherokee, but Juno... I don't know. I wasn't bonded to her, I didn't love her. I thought she'd be better off with someone else who could love her, but she was so BAD that I knew no one else would put up with her.

It seriously took like 6 months for that to change. And now I love that little clown to death. It's still not the same bond I had with Cherokee, but I don't expect I'll ever have that again. I don't even WANT to have that again. Cherokee was special, she was honestly like my other half. Maybe the gaping hole just healed over a bit in the past almost 2 years, maybe I grew some of that half myself... Maybe Juno's filled in a bit. I don't know. At this point I can't say that I loved Cherokee MORE than Juno...it's too different. That amazes me to this day. And Juno's still a total PITA, but I freaking adore her and I wouldn't give her up for anything.

She reminds me of Cherokee sometimes, she always has...certain quirky personality traits in common, and to be honest, I resented her for that when I first got her. I wanted a dog that was nothing like Cherokee, just so I didn't ever compare them. But now I realize she has a lot of Cherokee's best qualities, and funniest quirks...it's awesome. She's her own dog 100%, and I love her for her, but when she does something Cherokee used to do, I get to remember and laugh and love them both a little bit more. :)

And one of the greatest things is getting to SEE this -- I knew Chelsea when she had Cherokee and was working with her.  I also know how difficult it was for her when she lost Cherokee (and did everything for her she could).  But then to see how Chelsea has come into her own learning to live and love with Juno?  It's just awesome to see the owner/guardian grow as well.  You rock Chelsea. 

 

Sorry I am chiming in so late.I not sure how to say it with out sounding corny. I feel for your situatoin..

 

I used to come here all the time when this was idog. I just starting lurking again when I lost my dog just over a month ago. I could not even tell you exactly what brought me back .

Althought there has many been  many helpful post with member who can relate, I wanted to say I understand.I understand feeling unable to/ or guilty talking to those around you about your dilemma

I hope in some small way to help.

 

I want to second giving it time. You seemed to be taking good care of her. I truly believe we have the dogs we do for a reason. The timing is not always right, but each one comes into our lives for reason.

 

I had four and  it just feels so wrong not to have four.Not becuase I care about the numbers of dogs I have, But becuase I want my pack back. All my dogs.  Having the three is just foreign to me. There is a consist  hole in the house and our lifes.

 

People will choose to fill that hole in different ways. You know you cant fill that hole. But you can create new beginings and form a new pack.

 

Yours and mine situations are not the same and I hope this post comes across the way it is intented.

 

I can’t think of another dog right now, but I can still relate. I get so sad and feel I may not be giving my other 3 the bonding they are use to.

 

We do find ourselves comparing …what they don’t do that Rogue always did .

 

We all deal with grief different and I admire your getting another dog form where you did.

You have a good hart and I am sure cinnabon will have a place in it.

 

I wish your and your new pup the best and believe she is in your life for a reason. You two will have to find it together.

 

While going thought this process don’t feel guilty about grieving / missing your other dog.

Thank you so much for this post. Sorry it took me a while to be able to get back to the forum- I've had two rounds of out of town company.

Yes, my Midnight and your Cherokee sound SO much alike. Those little Alphas sure can take up a lot of one's heart when you are the honored one they choose to give their love and loyalty too. My Midnight got me through some difficult times too- including the long illness and death of my mother.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that at the end of Cherokee's life. It takes some of us (such as myself) a long time to move on after losing a heart dog.  My dog came down with IMHA and she only became sick- or noticeable so- two and a half days before she died. It was very fast and shocking. Either way (any way really) it's so hard.

I agree that adopting an animal is for life. I think I might have had a nervous breakdown at this point if Cinnabon had had the same issues as Juno did when you first brought her home, lol. Maybe not, though. I like a challenge and like to be needed. So far (three weeks into the adoption) Cinnabon is very good. She did almost dig out of the gate about three days after bringing her home. She was trying to wiggle throught just as we got home from being gone a short while to buy groceries. My husband has put concrete under both gates now and there has been no more digging in the yard. She chewed up a loaf of bread and shreaded some envelopes in the beginning too- but for two and a half weeks she has been fine with being left alone in the house for 30 minutes to two and a half hours. The latter is the longest time she has  ever  been left. Most days I'm home with her all day- or someone is with her. She seemed to already know about doggy doors and is totally house trained. She is easy to bathe and brush and rides well in the car. She is decent on a leash and I'm in the process of training her with that. She is very smart.

My daughter was eight when we got our other dog as a puppy, and twenty when Midnight died, so it's been hard on her too. She hugs Cinnabon and I'll say something like, What do you think of her? My daughter will say, "She's sweet. I like her a lot." I've noticed she won't say she loves her- and that's just it right now. We're all at the point of thinking she's sweet and "liking her a lot." I think that's OK though. She got a second chance at life and a good home and we have a cute, sweet dog to spend time with.

I did get a dog that is nothing like my old dog was in her youth. This one is also about a year-to a year and a half old. They look nothing alike, are built nothing alike, and have no personality traits in common. I think that's better for me. I understand what you mean when you say that you resented certain "in common" behaviors. I believe I would have felt the same.

So, that's Juno's pic in your avatar section? She is such a darling- with SUCH an expressive face. I can see that she would be a handfull, and lots of fun :)

Thanks for taking the time to write  your persepctive from a little farther down the road. It's very helpful.