I can't even figure where to put this -- move it if need be. But this isn't a memorial. That will come later. It's too long but I'm blown away.
We lost Billy tonight. He had a massive heart attack - one of the valves in his heart failed. It hit fast & hard & fatal - he was already up at the vet, and his favorite tech had taken him home for the night (by arrangement -- this is the gal with the son who is sick and Billy was excited to be going on an overnight).
She didn't let Billy and Richie spend much time together because she didn't like how Billy was breathing so she called the vet and arranged for him to meet her right away at the clinic (Dr B. had been at his other office today which was why I dropped Billy off tonight so he could see Dr B in the morning). She also called me and TOLD me she was taking him back to see Dr. B.
I knew this 'cough' sounded SO 'heart' to me but me trying to do ANYTHING extra, like getting him back to the vet just wasn't working with all MY medical stuff. He saw Dr. Bailey's "sub" last week Tuesday, and then I got him in to Dr. Faisano (at the holistic vet's office- the one who sees Pirate) on Thursday (I think it was Thursday) and she thot it looked like it could be kennel cough. Dr. F was well acquainted with Billy and the heart did NOT sound bad then (she'd heard the murmur before).
But over the weekend, to me he just seemed to be breathing a bit too hard even at rest. So I took him up late this afternoon -- so Dr. Bailey would have tomorrow to do tests (sigh). It was the first day *I* could get up there and it seemed like the cough would get better ... and then not ... and then better ... *sigh*
Dr. Bailey called us while we were at dinner (cos tonight's our anniversary) giving us the news that Billy had gone SO quick.
When Dr. Bailey saw him he said Billy was excited TO see him, but also something was seriously wrong. He did x-rays (which were also done last week and all looked fine) but it was all cloudy. He did a needle aspirate to see if the chest was full of fluid -- it was full of blood. In other words, pretty much too late. It was just a massive heart attack that claimed him quick.
Dr. Bailey said it was as if Billy saw him and "relaxed" and let go. Billy thot Dr. Bailey was THE best, and Billy would have done exactly that. I'm so glad I had taken him up there -- we did all we could, and every single thing we could. But had I been there he might have tried to 'hang on' and I would NOT have wanted him to linger in pain. That he felt comfortable enough with Dr. B to just let go knowing Dr. B would make him comfortable? That's my boy.
He went fast. It was the best way it could have happened. He'd been through far too much in his life -- David nor I wanted him ever to suffer in any way. We knew the IMHA left the heart weak. But I did *not* want him to just decline -- Billy HAD to be happy. It was the essence of him.
My brave boy is gone. I feel numb. But I know God did what was best -- no suffering. No prolonged illness. He's been a happy boy. Oh he will be so very very missed.
We stopped dinner, came home and picked up Luna & Tink and went up to Dr. B's so we all could say goodbye. (Yeah, I really DO think that's supremely important.) It was unexpected, but looking back, I think Luna *knew* -- it explains some of her clingy behavior this afternoon. She probably knew and I didn't.
Billy rescued my heart almost 7 years ago. He knew every single day how much I loved him. This world just wasn't quite big enough for his love. How blessed I was to know him and love him.