Monday chattin'

shamrockmommy

DH being home is a HUGE adjustment. I didn't think it would be but here he is kindof bossing me around (why are these dishes in the sink? didja do laundry? what did you DO today? kind of questions).  Before life was up to me. I took care of the house and kids on my terms, and I think, after all, I did a dang good job.  NOt to say that Dh is an ogre or anything, because he absolutely is not, I just feel, I dunno... 'watched' or something.  He also makes these "do you really need to eat THAT?" comments.  I am aware I'm a good 60 lbs overweight, and he means well, but....

Shammy, coming from a former Navy wife, this is totally normal.  Remember Navy people deal with deployments all the time, not just in times of war.  Have you made any friends at your new duty station?  Find out who your command's ombudsman is - she is often a source of a ton of information and a listening ear.  Honestly, this is one reason that it's not always bad to stay near military facilities when a loved one is deployed.  They are a great source of support in many ways, and often hold workshops about dealing with this re-acquaintment period before the deployed spouse gets home.

You really have to remember that he's been out fighting a war, which means he probably had many subordinates that he told what to do.  There is a re-adjustment period for him, too.  Talk to him, work it out before you both hit that wall.  He probably saw a lot of things that he will not share and that will affect his outlook and how he lives daily.  It doesn't make it right, but it's what you're left with.  Try not to resent him for it, but let your feelings be known.

shamrockmommy

DH being home is a HUGE adjustment. I didn't think it would be but here he is kindof bossing me around (why are these dishes in the sink? didja do laundry? what did you DO today? kind of questions).  Before life was up to me. I took care of the house and kids on my terms, and I think, after all, I did a dang good job.

My ex and I went thru counseling not too long after Desert Shield/Storm. My ex hadn't deployed but the AF counselor we saw talked a lot about couples he'd been working with and the problems that crop up when a spouse returns home. There is a huge adjustment period. Give yourselves some time and if it seems to be getting worse, consider getting some counseling. You've all been thru a huge life change and it's not surprising that you're feeling like things are a mess. I still don't think that adding another dog is a good idea. You all need to readjust to what you have now. Throwing in another dog to the equation will just make things more difficult.

I hadn't heard about an ibuprofen recall. If anyone has any links to news on it, would you share them with me?

Thanks, Tina. I've made a few aquaintances with the neighbors, they all quite nice so far.

We have talked about readjusting (both of us) with him home.  I blew up at him Saturday night. Granted, he's been away from the kids forever but his solution to dealing with the kids was to just YELL. and get louder and louder.  I suggested he try reading a certain book that really helped me and he stayed up half the night reading it. Yesterday went much better.  

I will have to find a spouse support group to get involved with maybe.  

I hope that I am not annoying everyone on dog.com. I am so stinking needy or something at the moment!

Whew, had to get a fan.....hot flashes have been bad this last few days!!!   LOL!!!  

Happy "late" anniversary Glenda!  Thanks to all of you for the Birthday wishes.

Tina I am so excited, didnt get to read everything but between the lines sounds like you made contact with your friend

I broke down and turned on the AC, Saturday.   It was not cooling like I thought it should by yesterday evening.

Woke up this morning, hotter inside than outside... I opened the windows turned on the attic fan, cleaned both return air filters, put them back up, all before 5:30 a.m.  By the time I left the house I closed the windows turned off the attic fan, and the temp inside had dropped 8 degrees.  Fingers crossed it was just those dirty filters!!!

I had a wonderful weekend at home playing in the dirt.  Got lots done, Hubby fixed me an awesome birthday dinner, and yesterday we  watched Avatar on PPV.  I am not usually into Scifi but I did enjoy that one.  First time in forever since we sat down to a PPV movie and the phone kept ringing and 2 neighbors dropped by, lol.  Took 4 hours to watch a 3 hour movie :)

 I took my sister over to the community college to register for her summer class earlier, and we took Luke along. I am pretty sure he wasn't supposed to be there, but nobody said anything, and lots of people stopped to say hi to him. We met two people who have cavaliers, one who must have been very dumb, because she didn't think he was one. Her dog is 25 lbs. We also met somebody with a nice sized 17lb cavalier. He works in Petsmart. He actually took a picture of Luke, and showed us pictures of his.

 Finally got my butt outta bed on time and worked out, gotta check to see what day I'm on. the whole drama on Friday threw me off my workout schedule - which makes me madder.

I went up and hung out with my best friend yesterday she was working - babysitting, so I grabbed my kites and went up and flew kites with her and the kid she looks after. It was alot of fun.  Then we went out for some very much needed 'girly' shopping. 

on the BF front I found out from my best friend ( through her BF) that my BF doesn't even REMEMBER what happened friday night. jeez.

So now I know I need to tell him what happened, I was gonna do it last night, but, yup you guessed it, drinking again. Its starting to get VERY VERY old.

But yesterday was great, especially cuz my best friend has been having a lot of back & other problems over the years, and she made a huge change in one area, and it's really making her feel better. I really feel like I'm getting my old crazy friend back!! Its so awesome. I swear it's been it least 3 or 4 years that she's been constantly in pain and not able to do anything fun.

Sorry Shammy I didnt see this...   

shamrockmommy

I hope that I am not annoying everyone on dog.com. I am so stinking needy or something at the moment!

Dont even think about "annoying"....that is what we are all about isnt it?  We have all had our "needy" moments!  Hang in there.  It will be worth it..you both have some adjustment and when it levels out everyone wins!

Cathy, very good, solid advice. THank you.

In my heart I know another dog would not be right for us at the moment. We are still trying to fit back together as a family.  Get back on our feet and then maybe look around.

If things continue to be strained, we will look into counselling. I know, bless his heart, he's done a lot of things to try to make me happy these last few weeks.

cakana

I hadn't heard about an ibuprofen recall. If anyone has any links to news on it, would you share them with me?

I looked it up a bit, it seemed to be mostly childrens medications. I found some at Target for myself, they were fully stocked, thankfully!

(((hugs))) to Shammy

shadowsgin

Sorry Shammy I didnt see this...   

shamrockmommy

I hope that I am not annoying everyone on dog.com. I am so stinking needy or something at the moment!

Dont even think about "annoying"....that is what we are all about isnt it?  We have all had our "needy" moments!  Hang in there.  It will be worth it..you both have some adjustment and when it levels out everyone wins!

Thanks, shadowsign.  You all have been so wonderfully supportive over the last year, the support and words are all priceless to me. Hopefully I can give back soon and get over my junk- or at least through it! :)

akyramoto82

on the BF front I found out from my best friend ( through her BF) that my BF doesn't even REMEMBER what happened friday night. jeez.

How nice for him. My dad and ex BF used to have blackouts too. Wasn't fair that they didn't remember what idiots they were but I'd remember every detail. I know that you know what you need to do to take care of yourself so I won't preach but am sending cyberhugs your way. :)

 Just got back from renewing my license at DMV - just

Wasn't sure if I'd stumbled into the Mental Health services.......

cakana

I know that you know what you need to do to take care of yourself so I won't preach but am sending cyberhugs your way. :)

Me too!!!!  {{{hugs}}} for you and you babies! 

My Daughter went thru this for 7 years before she finally broke the cycle and kicked him out!   You cant make them change unless they want too!  Oops did that sound like preaching???

Sigh, still waiting for the day to improve!

Am going over to Spirutual Circle -- and it already sounds like everyone's having challenges -- but I just talked to Megan.

They're going to have to let Tiki go today -- I knew this was all getting much worse, but she's pretty upset.  Tiki landed in SUCH a good place for her last year.  The heart just wasn't cooperating, which then causes enough stress to worsen the skin problems and and and ...

I hate having a friend hurt ... (scampering to Spiritual Circle - at least online I *can* scamper)