Most of you know Miz Kee is fading. She is very likely 19 and TOMORROW is her 4th Gotcha Day with us.
Dr. D (holistic vet) told us last night she's in no huge pain at all -- and she IS "fading" ... just not really quickly. There may well be cancer -- she's lost a tremendous amount of weight in the past 18 months (like she went from 12 pounds down to 6??). She's skeletal, she's incontinent ... she totters around. But until there is a real *reason* (pain, or her being unhappy enough to vocalize constantly, etc.) we're going to just continue on. After talking to Dr. D last night I feel really comfortable with this and so does David. her time is *close* -- but it's not here yet.
But she still tries to Rambo down baby gates (if YOU were a gate would YOU argue with a 19 year old peke??? Probably not. Fall down gate -- it's EASIER!!!)
She **now** takes comfort in cuddling with David and I (this from a dog who was TERRIFIED to be held 4 years ago -- imagine that? a peke who was afraid to be held??? *sigh*)
She's continent enough to hold it until she gets where it can be cleaned up -- she will object and fuss to be put down if you're holding her and she's gotta go. If she's in her crate (I gotta crate her -- she will get stuck in places otherwise -- like behind the fridge or under wires) she will pee and then walk to a dry place to lie. When we're home I just clean it up and plop her in the sink and wash her and wrap her in towels. She's not gonna hurt a thing -- inconvenient? Yeah but who cares.
Dr D says there's a reason why so many elderly & infirm (humans AND dogs AND cats) don't make it thru the dark winter days. It's naturally a time of death and fading away. so spring can be a time for renewal.
We're going to do sub-Q fluids with her every other day (not much -- just 75 ml or so), so we brought home lactated Ringer's last night and I rewnewed that particular skill with the tech last night (it's been years since I've done this). It will SIMPLY Make her more comfortable.
If she's more comfortable Dr. D thinks she may slip over the Bridge more easily. It makes them just a bit more comfortable and makes life less of an effort. If she can just RELAX a bit (sleeping is NOT necessarily relaxing -- she even DREAMS about trudging along being determined).
This is one more life lesson for me. This isn't clear cut. She's in no real pain. She's *inconvenient* and that is ALL. But I've never EVER put an animal to sleep for my own convenience and I'm not about to start now.
She's not super bonded to us -- yes, of course I'll miss her, but neither David nor I are deeply rattled at the idea of losing her. We BOTH just want her comfortable.
but she's lived her entire life in SURVIVAL MODE. You eat FAST and HARD because food may get yanked out of your mouth. You sleep when you get a safe place TO sleep that's warm -- because it might disappear. You rely on yourself and go WHERE you want WHEN you want cos it's the only way it's gonna happen. Don't let NUFFIN stop you -- just keep pushing. Keep putting one foot ahead of another. If you fall get up again. If you find a wall PUSH it. If you find a tight place SQUEEZE -- maybe you'll fit.
Don't stop. Keep going. Keep eating. Keep trying. Keep fighting. Keep LIVING. It's what you do.
How many of us could benefit from that sort of mindset? How often are we tempted to quit because it's hard. Or tempted to not do something because it's hard. Or because we don't "feel like it".
I've had dogs stick around because they were bonded to ME. Because they didn't want to leave ME. Because they felt they had to stay.
Not the case here. I will mourn her -- but once again I'm getting an opportunity to respect an elderly animal. To just watch her and marvel at her instinct for survival and how incredibly far it's gotten her.
Foxy's waiting up beyond Rainbow Bridge for his girl. (Only 'girlfriend' he ever had in his whole 19 years of life and she made his last 2 months wonderful) But he's gonna be proud of her 'cos he wasn't a quitter either.
I *never knew* that sub-Q fluids could be used to simply make an elderly animal (or human) more comfy -- water is stored mostly in fat cells and when there is little fat and little muscle left the body can't store water.
