We have accepted defeat......

I've been seriously to the point of somehow or other giving up on one of my dogs (Conrad, who has now been with us for over 5 years) in the past, after 6 months of dealing with just ridiculous seperation anxiety. It sucks. Sucks sucks sucks. Everyone here has already had great things to say but I just wanted to say that a lot of us have been there, right to the brink with a dog and we know what it's like but we've also most of us taken that one last final push and found that one day, you look around and realize that your dog is suddenly really great.

This dog I guarentee you would rather be tethered and confined a fair bit for a couple months while being trained than be at a stressful animal shelter, or worse, dead. The confinement and the constant supervision and the intensive training is not forever. Marlowe HATED his crate but we stuck with it for a couple months because that was the quickest way to get him reliable in the house when not supervised so we wouldn't have to use the crate any more with him ever. It's like a bandaid. Rip it off fast (and in dog training, a couple months is fast) and it may not be pleasant but it's all over. Do it by bits and bobs, slowly but not completely or consistently and it's going to take a lot longer and in the end cause more pain and stress. If you want to get this bandaid ripped off fast, tether to you when you are home, take very frequent potty trips outside, excercise an extreme amount, and crate with puzzle toys and frozen Kongs whenever you can not have her tethered to you.

And yes, where the dogs are concerned I've found that just taking hold of the reigns myself is a lot easier than trying to get my husband involved. Someone's got to handle the dogs and if the choice is between me doing it 100%, and me doing it 50% and him doing it 10%, I'm going to go for me at 100%.

I also just wanted to add some words of support.  I really hope you decide not to take her back.  That will be so confusing for her.  I also felt like I was at my wits end at times when we brought our puppy home.  I had no idea how much work it was and how little DH was actually home [].  We never really had a huge problem with peeing or chewing because the dog was always in my sight.  If I was in the living room, all of the doors to other rooms were shut.  He did not start having unsupervised access to rooms with carpet until he was fully potty trained, even then it was restricted.  If I even saw him heading off into another room, I had him bring his little butt right back.  If I saw him putting something in his mouth he wasn't supposed to, I gave him an "eh, eh" and gave him something approriate to chew on then praised like crazy when he did.  Other times when he was just chewing his bones or toys, I would praise more for chewing proper things.  Now, after a lot of work, he is trustworthy to be out of my sight. 
 
I know people have been suggesting crating to you for a while, but we never could have lived without it.  Our boy was crated while we were at work for 11 months.  We made his crate as comfy as possible and gave him frozen Kongs in there, the only time he gets them.  When he would see that Kong come out of the freezer in the morning, he would go running right to his crate.  Now, he just started having free rein of the house two weeks ago and is doing great.  We did have my father in law come over to let him out during the day when he was crated.  There was not one time that I came home from work that he was not sleeping in there.
 
I know that it will take a lot of work and it is easy to get frustrated but I know once you get these issues worked out, you will be so happy to have her and she will bring joy to both you and DH.

Well everyone.... after reading everything here today and to a couple of you that have sent me IM's and emails.... I TOTALLY appreciate it.......
 
I think I'm going to take Denise M's advice and if the husband and the teenager don't want to help, it's up to me.... ((which i KNOW the husband will help--he's just frustrated))..... I"m going to try the "if she's not in her crate, she's attached to me" idea..... and I've printed up some flyers that i'm going to place around my town, for a 'dog walker' someone to come twice a day and take roxi for a walk while we're gone..... I'm going to the library tonight to get some books to help me help her be the dog I know she can be...... She's such a GOOD DOG..... but, she just has 2 problems!!! --Wish I only had 2 problems with myself LOL LOL
 
I just love that dog to death, and I know my husband does too...... My teenage daughter is WAY more attached to the cat, but she's more of a cat person anyway....... I think we're gonna give it a try......

i just wanted to say from your pictures, you have a beautiful dog. i hope things work out! []

Bless You Rhonda.   I'm here with tears in my eyes after reading your last post.   I can tell how much you love her and want to make this work.     It may be a royal pain in the butt for a few more months but I have a really good feeling that you and Roxi are going to make it through it together, fast and famous friends.
 
Come back for support - or just to rant and scream - we'll listen and try and help if we can .... and at worst you'll have lots of shoulders to lean on.

I don't have anything to add, but I just wanted to say good for you, for trying so hard and giving her another chance. You obviously are a dog person! [sm=clapping%20hands%20smiley.gif]

[sm=clapping%20hands%20smiley.gif][sm=clapping%20hands%20smiley.gif]  I am so happy!  Good luck!

I am so thrilled to hear this. You'll be so glad you made this choice!! []

Best of luck to you!!! You obviously care deeply and have a lot of courage to keep tackling the problems. Keep us posted with updates on all the progress and good news! []

I just read the entire thread.  I am sooooo glad you decided to give it your all!  Roxi will be that dog soon.  I know it.  Stick around the forum so we can help out any way we can and so we can get updates on her progress.  You'll get there, just stick with it and don't take any setbacks personally.  We've all made mistakes and we're all here to help.[]

Hi. Glad to hear you are going to keep trying with her. You may want to think about baby gates too. I know most grown dogs can jump them, and mine can too, but if I am in a room with them gated, they won't jump it and it keeps them in. I use the gates for, like you mentioned, if DH and I want to watch a movie or I'm doing dishes or cooking and don't want them tethered to me or crated. If I leave the room though, they will jump the gate to get to me, so it's just for if I want to keep them in the same room with me.

i'm curious how you chose Roxi. not meaning to insult or anything. but she was a rescue from a shelter right? did she have a record on file from previous owners why she was given up? or did no one tell you a thing about her and you just went with gut instincts? and dont worry, there is no wrong answer to that question.
i have done the tethering thing before - kept my dogs at my side if they were outside in the yard running, or in their crates.
and my husband has said the same thing about Kaydee.... didnt want anything to do with her after some of her issues.. i came close to agreeing with him and boy am i glad i didnt!!

the one thing to remember always about Roxi is that she is a working breed and she is absolutely normal. she is supposed to be high energy.... if she belonged to a duck hunter he would be proud to have a dog that had her stamina to swim swim swim and swim some more [] she's probably still rather young, possible only a year old... she wont mellow out until she is around the age of five... and even then there are no absolutes. i have seen dogs over the age of ten that could keep up with galloping horses on two hour trail rides through all kinds of terrain and STILL have the energy to play some more when they got back home.

and keep trying the fetch thing. there are some tricks to getting a dog to learn to fetch - though they dont work with Ben.... but he wont even run at the ball..... at least yours is trying lol the key is to get her to become more mouthy - easy since she likes to chew... if you start teaching her to fetch edible items, like raw hides that smell tasty then you're on the right track - this is what i'm also going to try with Ben - besides that. even if she just runs at the thrown item.. at least she is running lol just keep throwing it, make a big fuss over it when she shows interest... and throw it again.


here is another book that might make you feel better and not so alone -http://www.amazon.com/Marley-Me-Life-Worlds-Worst/dp/0060817089
Marley and Me.... the story of the world's worst dog..... you're bound to find that one in the library. its fairly popular i hear.... i might even get a copy of it for myself!!!

Marley sounds ten time worse than Roxi! []

Rhonda
 
I'm sorry if you have said this before and I have missed it...but how many and what kinds of chew toys does she have? Maybe try a few more or different kinds, make them "extra super special" - i.e. stuffed Kongs, Nylabones that have been boiled in chicken broth and cooled, Chilly Bones (for dogs that like to chew of ice cube - a cloth bone that you soak in water and freeze). These are especially good to keep in the crate with her so, also, because they will keep her occupied. My dog was very chewy until I discoverted her weakness - marrow bones!

yeah!! see if you can find a local butcher and buy some weight bearing beef bones! i used to do that for Kaydee when we had to leave for work. i would give her this giant ... cow leg... and she would gnaw on it happily until we came back home. 

I just saw this thread and see you are going to give it another try.Ijust wanted to let you know that we, too, have a yellow lab for 2 years now.Up until then,he was in a breeders kennel for the first two years of his life.We bought him and he did not know how to get in a van.He wouldn't eat any biscuits,meat, dog bones,nothing, as he never had any.He has chewed up a whole interior in our van,a back seat in the next vehicle,my seatbelt in my than new Mazda Trbute,our chair cushions and to this day,I still make sure he has toys to chew on and in the car, he usually has on his electric collar,which by now, is off but he doesn't know that.He still is somewhat afraid of me,as I think he associates me with the breeder,as her name is Gloria,too.She did not handle him gently.He is afraid of the BBQ grill and will not go near it--he had scars on his nose and close to his eyes and his ear was literally torn in half and left to heal that way.Our vet could not believe it ,but did a beautiful job of sewing his ear.He thinks that maybe somehow the dog associates fire with something that traumatized him before.What I'm saying is that you never know what a dog has been thru and it takes a very long time for them to trust,as we are still working every day on getting Sammy to learn new things and not be afraid.I think it is very sad when a dog doesn't know how to act like a dog---I'm happy to see you give that beautiful dog a chance--good luck.[]