We have accepted defeat......

I'm really sorry to read this - I know we "talked" alot in your original posts about Roxi.
 
When she's let out of the crate, is she immediately given an opportunity to pee outside, and is someone able to toss a ball for her so that she can let off some steam right away?
 
I know I've said this before but my dog was 17 months old and really high wired when I adopted him, and I had to dedicate 2 hours each evening to him getting exercise.  When I came home during the day to let him out for a pee break, we played then too.  Eventually his chewing issues stopped when 1) he had enough exercise and 2) I learned not to leave anything out around him. 
 
 

Yes, she is immediately taken out to pee...... no, she's not played with,-- well, not in the 'ball' sense, she's talked to, and Roxi LOVES to shake hahaha.... so you have to shake her hand about 10 times LOL my husband will start dinner, about the time it's done, I arrive home..... we eat..... after we eat, sometiems it's about an hour or hour and a 1/2 and we go to the dog park..... we're there at least an hour..... and i've never seen a dog yet that runs as much as Roxi does there...... I woudl say she runs 75% of the time we're there, and not just galloping----i mean RUNNING..... so fast my husband can't even catch her.......

Roxi doesn't play ball, doesn't fetch, we've tried to work on that, but she doesn't get the hang of it..... she'll run towards the ball/stick, but she won't pick it up and bring it back to you...
 
I just talked to my husband and said the board was really giving me a hard time about giving her up..... and he said "it's up to you but I'm done with her"......... now I feel even worse

Well ultimately it IS your choice. The board is giving you a hard time because dogs that are true "lost causes" are few and far between. Your dog obviously has more exercise needs than you can and are willing to give. That only means that she might not be the right dog for your family, not that you guys are terrible people. It happens. . not every dog is right for every person.

If she's going to go back to the HS, I hope its not a kill shelter. Perhaps if you feel ready to have another dog down the line, the people on this board can help guide you toward finding a breed that suits your lifestyle better.

You know what I've been reading along here and in your other posts too.  I didn't respond because I hadn't really had first hand experience with the types of problems that your having.  BUT, I do have experience with wanting to give up a dog.  I almost gave up Willow twice.  So, I just wanted to say to you to think it thru again before you take her back.  I had a lot of hard work ahead of me but now that I'm thru it I thank God I kept her.  I can't believe I wanted to give her up.  I can't imagine my life without out her.  It gets better I promise.  And, I had aggression to deal with. 

And, my husband has said similar things and he couldn't love her more.  So, don't pay attention to that, that's frustation. 

Honestly, I think you guys are expecting too much too soon.  I know I did.  It takes a long while for them to know what's expected.  When you see other people at the dog park and it seems like their dogs are behaving so great and doing everything right that took time to come. 

And, as far as the peeing when you leave, I think she has some separation anxiety issuses that could be dealt with with medication for awhile while you work with her. 

Good luck whatever you decide.

To me I think you need more than just traditional obedience classes - you need to contact a trainer who can work with you one-on-one for the behavioral problems.
 
I don't think we're giving you a hard time at all.  We're asking you questions and offering some suggestions, because so many of us have been exactly where you are at, and we were able to make it work.  Yes, it's hard, it takes sacrifice (like, maybe taking her to the dog park BEFORE dinner rather than after), but it CAN be done.  Are you a bad person for "giving up" on her?  No...we're just trying to show you that you may not need to "give up". 
 
What concerns me is that your husband clearly wants to dump off the responsibility for keeping her on you, and isn't terribly enrolled in any of the ideas around keeping her.  So what chance does Roxi really have?  My own dog was adopted and returned twice to the humane society before I got him.  And he is the absolute BEST dog.  So, perhaps Roxi isn't the right dog for you - in fact I would reconsider whether your lifestyle and fencing situation would accommodate any dog - but I do think that there are more options available to you if you really don't want to throw in the towel just yet. 

LOL I meant that in a 'funny' way about the board giving me a hard time....

Ok... In order to be successful..... I need to do only 2 things---exercize her more & keep her attached to me at all times.... when she can't be attached to me, she needs to be crated..... that will lead to success?

When we were searching for obedience class, the only one close to here was the one at the community college--we live in such a small town, there isn't anything other that is even close to here..... We don't have agility courses, trainers, doggy day care, dog walkers... etc etc....

Is that what im' getting from all this??? Are there other things I need to do???

Can you contact the humane society and ask them for some help and resources?  Perhaps they either employ someone or know of someone in your area that can help you with these issues.  I think that you should contact them and let them know what you're experiencing with Roxi so that they can have a chance to help you before they have to face taking her back. 

ORIGINAL: RhondaNE
Ok... In order to be successful..... I need to do only 2 things---exercize her more & keep her attached to me at all times.... when she can't be attached to me, she needs to be crated..... that will lead to success?

That's it! Remember, long walks on leash are more effective than free runs because it satisfies mental and physical requirements. When you go on long walks, you can make them more strenuous by adding a doggy packpack and putting some weight in it. This will tire her out faster.

If you have a treadmill in your house, some dogs take to that pretty well with a little coaxing. So if you can't do a full walk, you can supplement with some treadmill work.

When she's in the house you need to either A. watch her or B. crate her. But if you're going to leave for awhile and crate her, she needs to be tired first. Exercise exercise exercise! Its the MOST important thing you can do for your dog, and the one thats usually the most sorely neglected. With a tight schedule and plenty of stimulation, most shy dogs will eventually come out of their shells. Some take longer than others. I applaud you for not giving up on her. Good luck!

I have some personal experience with this.  I recently rescued a pomeranian who lived in a kennel for a year (from the time he was 8 months to a year and 8 months).  I knew there would be issues to overcome when I brought him home and boy were there...and they are still there (I've had him since April).   He had no idea where it was appropriate to potty, he was very timid around new people, and  he barks constantly (that's a breed thing though []).  I had hime tethered to me for literally  3 months.  He is also crate trained, so this helps.  He goes in to eat and when he comes out we go outside to go potty, if he doesn't poop and pee, he goes back in.  And then we try again in about 15 minutes.  He doesn't get free roam of the house (and he didn't at all for a while) unless we've just been out and he has both pooped and peed (if he's just eaten) or peed (if he hasn't eaten recently).  We go out for potty breaks every hour when I am home, just to make sure there are no accidents.  He is still not potty trained and still doesn't tell me when he needs to go out, but he has gotten much better about holding it.  It has taken a lot of work on both my part and DH's (only because he's home more often than I am), but we are making progress, if slowly.

With the shyness.  I try to take him places where it isn't busy and introduce him to new people slowly.  He has become much better with new people and that is a huge step!

So keep trying.  It really is a lot of work, but it is doable.  Good luck and I hope things work out for the best for you guys.

I just want to wish you luck and give you another success story.
 
I adopted my two chihuahuas when they were 1 year (Bow Wow) and 6 months (Peanut).  They had never been housetrained or socialized in any way.  They screamed in terror if I tried to put a collar on them.  The good thing was they were friendly to both me and my husband.  Other than that they had absolutely no training or socializing.  To top it off, the foster who had them kept them locked in a tiny bathroom and let them pee and poop in the shower!!!! 
 
Anyway, after I got them they became more fearful of people initially.  I think it was because I seem to know all these people who always say "Oh all dogs love me!" and would grab at them.  They became even more fearful and I started to get discouraged.  I got the help of my mom who told me to just tell people to back off, that the dogs were being socialized and needed time to adjust.
 
I do have a fenced yard.  I walked them every day, twice a day without fail.  I worked on potty training.  I took them everywhere with me.  Sometimes just for a short time, but they went.  I did not force them to get out of the car or interact.  Sometimes they just wanted to get used to the new surroundings and then later or next trip would want to join in.  Sometimes I would be embarrassed or felt that people were rolling their eyes at me and my shaky chihuahuas, but I shrugged off the feeling and just kept on keeping on.
 
It has been a long time coming, but now they accept children petting them and new people.  They just recently went to their first dog park day and adjusted to the new dogs quickly.  They are housebroken and love going on their walks (they were so fearful before, I felt like I was torturing them by walking them).  They are the best little dogs!  It has taken nearly a year, but I wouldn't give them up for the world!  It is SO worth the effort I have put in.
 
I know not everyone would be willing to make the commitment I did and I do understand.  I am wishing you and Roxi much luck and hopefully success!

I think your problem was stated in your first few posts.  You can't go watch a movie and leave the dog loose.  If your doing something like that she either needs to be crated or within your sight.  If your sitting on the couch then she should lay or sit on the floor next to or in front of the couch.  If your on the floor she should be laying or sitting within reach but not on you.  Keep a leash attached to her if she wants to wander off.  I've looped leashes over my foot while on the computer or my wrist while watching a movie.  Zami was always attached to me until she learned what was proper to chew on. 
 
Next I always had a chewy nearby.  Even if I have to scatter the entire floor in every room with them or set them on every surface so they are within easy reach I always had a chewy.  When she grabbed something she wasn't suppose to I immediately had something to give her to replace it.  It took a couple months but we are nearly 100% successful.  I can leave her loose in the house without a leash and even let her wander into another room without risk of her destroying something.  Every now and then she brings me some object she isn't suppose to have but that is another good result of our training.  When something is within her reach that she shouldn't have she generally brings it to me in order to get a chewy in exchange for it.  That means fewer things get chewed up even when I forget something within reach of her teeth.  I did still have to yell at her yesterday because she was rolling around on the floor, hooked the telephone cord by mistake, and then decided to chew on it but she immediately dropped it and grabbed a toy.  You just have to be extremely persistent.  She should never have the opportunity to chew or pee on anything.  She should always be right there in front of or next to you if she's not in the crate.
 
This dog sounds entirely normal and I actually kinda like her.  If you take her back to the shelter let me know where. []  The problem is most people aren't going to see it that way and most will choose the dog that wasn't returned over the one that was  no matter how common or easily fixed the issues might be.  I saw some people avoid an 8week old pup becuase it was turned into the shelter for not housebreaking and they thought it would be more work to train.  Obviously it's not even old enough to really housebreak and the people trying couldn't have had it long enough to be successful anyway.

I'd like to recommend some reading.

The Cautious Canine
Patricia McConnell
[linkhttp://www.dogwise.com/itemdetails.cfm?ID=DTB586]http://www.dogwise.com/itemdetails.cfm?ID=DTB586[/link]
How to help dogs conquer their fears with desensitization and counter conditioning. Step by step instructions to help you dog get over his fear of unfamiliar people. ***If you want to use the program for something besides a dog who's afraid of strangers, just substitute the relevant species and problem and go from there. It can be used to get over fear of the vet, a ceiling fan, whatever - as long as the behavior problem is motivated by fear. Even people can use the program!

I'll Be Home Soon
Patricia McConnell
[link>http://www.dogwise.com/itemdetails.cfm?ID=DTB667]http://www.dogwise.com/itemdetails.cfm?ID=DTB667[/link][/size]
How to prevent and treat Separation Anxiety. If you worry about leaving your dog home alone, both because you love your dog and your house, this book is for you.

The Other End Of The Leash
Patricia McConnell
[linkhttp://www.dogwise.com/itemdetails.cfm?ID=DTB745]http://www.dogwise.com/itemdetails.cfm?ID=DTB745[/link]
When humans communicate with dogs, a lot can get lost in the translation. Focusing on human behavior, Dr. McConnell teaches readers how to retrain themselves to speak consistently in a language dogs understand and avoid sending conflicting and confusing messages. The new insights into human and dog interaction will forever alter and improve our relationship with our best friends. Combines true stories, scientific perspective and professional dog training tips.


All these books are under $30.  I also recommend getting into clicker training.  Tire her mind and her body.
It's going to take some work but I think you can, with a little hard work and commitment, work through her issues.  She's been bounced around from home to home, so no one has given her a chance.  They just get rid of her.  She's not a bad dog, just an untrained and active one. 
What does she normally chew on?  Shoes?  Can you keep them picked up, and have your family keep them out of her reach?  Are you sure she doesn't have a UTI?  Can you build a cheap fence?  I know some people have links for inexpensive ways to construct fences.  I can start a new thread and get those links for you. 
 
ETA: Found another book
Second-Hand Dog: How to Turn Yours Into a First Rate Pet
Carol Lea Benjamin
[linkhttp://www.amazon.com/Second-Hand-Dog-First-Rate-Howell-Reference/dp/0876057350/ref=pd_sim_b_1/102-6884240-7762512?ie=UTF8&qid=1189015358&sr=8-2]http://www.amazon.com/Second-Hand-Dog-First-Rate-Howell-Reference/dp/0876057350/ref=pd_sim_b_1/102-6884240-7762512?ie=UTF8&qid=1189015358&sr=8-2[/link]
Describes the care, training, and rehabilitation of previously owned or formerly homeless dogs, focusing on their special problems and needs.

Hi Rhonda, I missed your previous posts but just went back to read. First off let me say that I totally get your frustration with Roxi. When I got my dog, 4 yrs ago, I really wondered if I had made a big mistake. Not that I wasn't 100% in love with the guy but the chewing a peeing was so bad I felt like I could not live like that. Kobi had a real thing for electronics, shoes and his leash. He chewed 2 cell phones, an ipod, 3 remotes, my rx glasses, DH's car remote plus the heels of at least 10 pairs of shoes. At one point we estimated the damage at well over $1,500, then we stopped adding. Being the 'mother' I was prepared to take the time to get things turned around. I found the forum, which was a god send! My DH however reached his limit and his negativity made my job even harded as he refused to support or encourage my work with the dog. I felt guitly everytime something bad happened as if it were my fault. It was very stressful! So I get having to deal with your DH as well.
From my experience, I suggest that for now YOU take 100% responsibilty for the dog. Leave your DH and kids(?) out of it. If YOU are unable to watch the dog every minute - he has to be in the crate. If the family is leaving their stuff around - YOU pick it up, put it away! Restrict her access to areas where urine can't be cleaned up throughly - no carpets. You have to do what ever it takes to set your dog up for success. Every set back is going to add more stress to the house. Stress in the house is going to make Roxi stressed and the behaviours will increase.
I really had to change my entire attitude with Kobi. He was no longer the family pet. He was my dog. I fed him, walked him, trained him, disiplined him, loved and played with him. He knew exactly who was calling the shots - ME!
The good news is it all worked. Kobi stopped chewing everything, never has an accident in the house and was returned to status of family pet. Today my DH thinks he's just the cat's meow! He takes photos to work and loves to brag about what a great dog he is.

I just wanted to add. If there are no appropriate trainers in your area, you may want to try and find a mentor. The dog park is usually a good place to find 'doggy' people that have a lot of knowlege about dog behaviour. I lucked into befriending a dog walker who has been a wealth of information and support over the years.

Good Luck

Help, help YOU Rhonda. 

Have you tried [linkhttp://www.apdt.com/po/ts/us.asp]http://www.apdt.com/po/ts/us.asp[/link] and searched for a dog trainer in your area?  Those obedience classes don't help much, no matter where you take them, as far as serious behavioral problems go.  You need a professional dog trainer with lots of experience to come to your house and help you.
 
ps: Which breed is your dog?  Or which mixes...  That would help explain a lot.