Richs Plea

I wanted to post again on this thread to say the same as what a lot of people have said... basically, you are an angel to Rich.  When my father in law was dying from cancer and at the time that we found out it would be less than a week before he left us, and before it was apparent to us, I couldn't even go to the hospital anymore.  I would have if my husband asked me to, but thank god my brother in law came in town and he and my husband were strength for each other.  I have thought about his wife, who we are all now estranged from for very specific reasons, but I have thought about what she did for him a lot and I know that if I were put in the same situation, I would do what I had to, but I really don't know how I would do it or how long I could last.  It was so hard to be there for what was going on.  I have thought about you in this situation a lot.  

I don't think that my post means anything really other than I hope you are taking care of yourself and I can relate to some extent to how hard this is....and I am glad you are laughing when you can, even if it is at Rich's expense b/c I know if he were in your position he would understand and try to find the humor in such a hard life position to be in.  Sending all of my strenght and prayers to you and Rich.  I am glad that when he is of sound mind, he comforts you and lets you know how much he really loves you.  Don't ever forget how much he loves you.  And eventually you will be able to remember the memories before this time when he was sick.  It takes time, but you will remember and enjoy those memories so much.   

I have copied and pasted this into an email to send to my bf & son.  Both are heavy smokers.  BF is 43, son is 19 and both started around age 11.  I cannot fathom being a 5th grader and wanting to do such a thing. 

My son's father was also a heavy smoker and drinker.  He died from pancreatic cancer in Aug 2000.  Like Boneyjean wrote, it was a large aggressive cancer that spread to his liver (and everywhere else).  From diagnosis to death only 8 months passed.  He had surgery to remove the cancer, but it didn't help.  He also was a heavy drinker.  He quit smoking before the surgery, but started again after he got home.  Near the end he was on oxygen, but still smoked.  He was only 50, but already had emphysema.  My son got to watch him die and yet he started smoking shortly thereafter.  I still don't understand it.

Julie, I am so very sorry for what you are going through, but want to thank you for sharing your story.  Prayers of strength from me.

My parents were smokers. Yes the key word "were". My mother died Feb 1986, she had oral cancer too. When the surgeon came out after the surgery he said her jaw "crumbled in his hands." Post surgery her tongue was sutured to the floor of her mouth for the tissue to regenerate, and she had no lower jaw. The plan was plastic reconstructive surgery but before that could be scheduled her cancer returned and she was given two weeks. That was October. She made it to Feb 2, it was a strong will. My father denied cigarettes killed my mother. He said "they never said cigarettes were the cause!" I replied "they didn't have to." My father died 1 yr 21 days later Feb 23, 1986 his actual cause of death on his death certificate was "accute respiratory failure". He caught pnemonia, when they drained his lungs the contents were black. I was 25 when my father died. Too young to say good bye! My prayers are with you and Rich! This is not a fun time and I understand.

Thank you for continuing to share your story. I've been sending the updates to my dad, who started smoking about 10 years ago.

I know I've said it before, but really admire your strength and courage. You are an amazing person. Rich is so unbelievably lucky to have you. We will continue to pray for you and your family.

Please tell Rich how appreciated he is in sharing his story. It was hearing something like Rich's story that inspired me to quit many years ago. A friend who was only in his mid-40s was put on oxygen for the rest of his life due to smoking. I was only in my 30s and I remember thinking that I didn't ever want to have to carry an oxygen bottle around with me. I quit a week later. I had a few setbacks, but never for long, and I haven't smoked a cigarette for about 10 yrs now.

Julie - I think of you and Rich often and continue to say prayers for comfort and strength for you both thru this most difficult time. Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences with us. I hope that I would be as strong and brave as you have been.