Do Not Stick Things in Your Ears!!!

    • Gold Top Dog
    Kale is 7.  And for the life of him can't remember why it seemed like a good idea to put the  bead in his ear.  We got home just before 10 last night and he still went to school today.  Brat wanted to show off his bracelet and the hole in his hand from the IV.  
    • Gold Top Dog
    I hope everything works out and remember the only thing you can put in your ear is your elbow. [;)]
    I was so lucky with my daughter, she didn't put things in any strange places.  She was fond of digging in her diaper, and smearing poo *everywhere* it was awful..I would go to get her from a nap and there would be a little pygmie where I had left my daughter.  She was blond haired, blue eyed, beautiful until nap time.  She dug poo out by the handful and rubbed it all over the wall, crib, mattress, in her ears, eyebrows, hair, mouth, literally everywhere she could reach.  I remember gagging trying to put her in the tub and she would try to kiss me with brown lips and poo breath.  I could pass out.  This was a daily occurance.  We had to resort to putting her in long zip up pj's after duct taping her diaper and safety pinning the zipper up on the pj's.  It was like warfare.  [:'(]  I will never forget the sight of brown Del Monte crisp sweet corn niblets all over the wall accompanying rehydrated raisins  *YUCK*    Jules
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    Jensw, I'm with you - these stories are hysterical (only because they ended without any serious harm, AND because I didn't have to experience them).  I don't have kids either -- I'm so neurotic that I'd never be able to handle those types of emergencies!   It's much better to enjoy them as comical stories!  Jules -- I would've been chronically ill from all the gagging and fainting I would've done with the "poo painting."  So gross, but very funny!!
     
    I'm reminded of an episode of the TV show, "House."   A little boy with a major sinus problem was found to have put a tiny metal firetruck in his nose (like the size of a Monopoly game piece).  The next day, they found a little policeman, then a fireman.  Dr. House finally figured out that the FIRST thing he put up there was a little kitty, and he was sending the rescue people up there to retrieve him.  
     
    Joking aside, I'm glad everyone is okay!
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    ROFL....[sm=rotfl.gif]
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    It was pretty bad back then, we had to 'tag team' it, one parent handled the goopy child getting her into the tub with lots and lots of soap, the other parent had a floor brush, tilex, gloves, and a bucket in case of throwing up. [:'(]   By the time we got rid of her beautiful all white 'very girly' crib, it looked like a 90 pound crap monster had lived in it.   Eeewwww... 
    I loved the monopoly piece story, had me in tears laughing...the really bad part was her sweet baby kisses were awful because she had 'poop breath' after those episodes   Ack!  Jules
    • Gold Top Dog
    I'm laughing so hard that tears are squirting out of my eyes and I had better go hit the bathroom before I pee my pants!
    I remember that I had a boyfriend in college who went in for surgery on a deviated septum. During the surgery they found the problem: a blue tiddly-wink! He'd shoved it up there when he was 7 or 8 or 9 and utterly forgot about it!
    [sm=rofl.gif][sm=rotfl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rotfl.gif]






    • Gold Top Dog
    Oh dear - a tiddly-wink?  I didn't think it was physically possible - esp. on a little nose!
     
    By the time we got rid of her beautiful all white 'very girly' crib, it looked like a 90 pound crap monster had lived in it.

     
    Egad...Jules, I feel for you.  Did you, umm, get pictures?  You know, ammo for future use (boyfriends, etc.)?
     
     
     
    • Gold Top Dog
    It wasn't the big flipper tiddly wink, it was one of the little ones.

    But I think you'd be surprised, (or maybe after reading this thread you wouldn't), what little kids can jab up their noses!
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    The doctor who removed the packing beads from my sons ear started telling me stories about other kids and things they'd put in their ears and nose, I asked him to please be quiet about it in front of my impressionable child.
    • Gold Top Dog
    Jules[:-]  definately a story worthy of a wedding speach![sm=rotfl.gif]
    • Gold Top Dog
    Laffin, I should have taken pix of it all, but it was happening everyday so the images are very vivid in my mind to this day and her dad is the same way.  This went on everyday for a couple of years, she refused to potty train too so she was a very late bloomer in that respect.  Another sneaky thing she did was pouring things on the carpet to see what it looked like, one day I found her pouring sticky honey on the carpet.  No big deal I thought, just whip out the steam cleaner out of the closet and get it right out.  NOPE....not that easy.  Apparently she had also poured Dish Soap in the same spot and Now that I had added Hot Water to it, The room was looking like Lawrence Welk's Bubble Machine had gone haywire.  The more I tried to dissolve the honey, the more I activated the dish soap.  I was sooooo  ticked!!  I actually called my husband at work and started cussin as soon as he answered, where he politely told me I was on 'speaker' phone with his bosses standing there. omg the day just kept getting worse, and all that had happened before her daily *CrapNap*    [:@] I don't know how she survived her childhood, I wanted to spank her til her butt slid clean off...  I guess sticking things up her nose and in her ears was the only thing she didn't do.  Now that my son is two, maybe he will have some interesting ideas planned for me....heaven forbid....[sm=crazy.gif]    Jules
    • Gold Top Dog
    When my son was 3 he shoved a bead up his little nose, so of course we tried to get it out for a while but it was way up in there, almost between his eyes, and when all else failed and I was ready for a trip to th ER, DH, (always thinking on his feet) grabbed the straw out of my soda and put it up to the opening of my son's nose, now don't gag, but 3 quick and hard sucks on the straw, and the bead came down enough we could get to out with tweezers!
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    [sm=clapping%20hands%20smiley.gif] flippin smart!!  Jules
    • Gold Top Dog
    I can't sleep tonight so thought I would look around the posts. I ended laughing so hard that I actually woke up my husband on the other end of the hall. These stories are hysterical!!! Thanks for the laughs!