Dog Community

Posted : 12/14/2006 2:17:11 PM

i know, this might not be the case with you, but i'll share this story anyways. maybe it will give you some hope:

my mom and dad were married for 12 years and my grandma (father's side) never really gave my mom a chance. my mom did the same thing, everyone suggested: she remained kind, brought over home cooked meals for her, etc, but at the same time, she also didnt take any s*** from her.
now when my parents got divorced, because my father found another woman, guess what happened? my grandma, called my mom and told her, how upset she was with my father. she completely took my mother's side and never forgave my father for doing that to her.

my mom never ever ever expected it from her. but there you go.

hmm, i dunno if this helps you in any way... hope it does and good luck with that situation!

loveukaykay

Posted : 12/14/2006 2:33:26 PM

Nah, Ill never say anything to her. Its not in my nature to hold grudges either. Her continuously talking about it and asking about it is not making me want to go any less. Its not about her or anyone else, lol, its just my choice. I just wish people could be more accepting of others in general.[

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bragg1120

Posted : 12/14/2006 3:31:33 PM

Maybe one day people can be more accepting. I hope!

She's lucky that you don't hold grudges & won't say anything to her... not many women I know would be able to say that lol I'm more of the non-confrontational type.... don't like heated arguements at all! but others thrive on it.

SaraD

Posted : 12/14/2006 4:58:47 PM

Ron, I think it is taking me a long time to get to the point of being able to ignore her. I have been told that that skill is one you learn with age. I wish I was born with the skill. It would have made some things easier.

--Sara

SaraD

Posted : 12/14/2006 5:00:04 PM

ORIGINAL: saveastray2day

ORIGINAL: bragg1120
There are some people none of us are ever going to satisfy. Wouldn't matter if we were good as gold or hell raisers.... some people just aren't happy with anything!

Yup, my DH calls them "psychic vampires" sucking the positive energy out of the universe and anyone they come in contact with.

I like that term. I will have to use that imagery the next time they visit.

--Sara

SaraD

Posted : 12/14/2006 5:05:41 PM

Thank you guys for the support and allowing me to vent and whine. I am feeling better today. I am working on my reactive feelings when I feel slighted by her. I know that it could be far worse.

--Sara

ron2

Posted : 12/14/2006 9:41:19 PM

Another effect of my age is that a number of my feelings have been burned out. [

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The emotion involved takes energy. At some point, you just quit caring about paying attention to the negativity. Especially when you know better that you are, indeed, a good person and that someone else's opinion of you is just that, an opinion. And, at times, I have seen (and I don't mean this forum) where a person's opinion says more about them than it does about whatever they were commenting on.

To borrow a line from the movie "War Games," "Sometimes, the only way to win is to not play the game."

ron2

Posted : 12/14/2006 9:51:33 PM

I know how they are in public and then to see them in church acting a different way isn't something I can handle.

Jesus Christ said, "The Kingdom of Heaven is not in the cornerstone of a building but in your heart."

That's a suitable reply when you don't want to go to church but someone wants you to.

Some people are very private in their religious beliefs and don't feel the need to go to church. A christian friend of mine goes to church every Sunday and enjoys it greatly and never pressures anyone to attend with him. Just the same, he sees God when he is walking in nature, too. Nor is he a holy roller out to save everyone. He exemplifies the verse I quoted.

Perhaps these would be words by which to answer when someone keeps asking the church question.

Yes it is unfair of me but sometimes the best way to answer a question about church is to quote Scripture.

bragg1120

Posted : 12/15/2006 11:06:39 AM

Jesus Christ said, "The Kingdom of Heaven is not in the cornerstone of a building but in your heart."

That's a pleasant response for anyone who feels pressure from others to go to church. I'm glad you replied with it. [

] This could be a another thread on it's own!

Thank you guys for the support and allowing me to vent and whine. I am feeling better today. I am working on my reactive feelings when I feel slighted by her. I know that it could be far worse.

--Sara

Sara, I hope that you know now that you're not alone in the way you feel. It's hard to deal with someone that could be a wonderful part of your life when all they speak is negativity. I hope you & DH have a wonderful holiday! [align=right]

So Upset....Long and Rambling