Homemaker or Working Woman...just some thoughts

glenmar

Many of the "woes" of our world go back to uninvolved, uncaring parents.

Absolutely agreed.

Gina, yes it is very difficult.  Worth it, but harder than heck to have no me time, no couple time, not much more than a few seconds a day to call your own.  WE did it, at a time when a lot of other parents didn't bother.  We did scouts, we did sports, with DH coaching, we did school stuff and PTA, AND had an ADHD child as well as a part time child in the form of DH's son who we had periodically.  And this is why I say it's really, really almost impossible to have it all all at the same time.

IrishSetterGrl

- Can a stay at home mom have the same sense of independence as a working mom

Why not?  You can do a home study course to expand your skills further and/or you can work from home. At the moment I'm out of work, and it's not reat situation because we can't afford it.... it's not a lifestyle choice.  The truth is, whatever I earn is not "my" money anyway.  And whatever DH earns, that's not HIS money either.  Because we are married, and that is a legally binding contract.  By law, everything he owns also belongs to me, and vice versa.  So, there is no "allowance".  I draw OUR money out of OUR bank account.  If I was a bimbo with no idea of the value of money, or how to budget, or impulse control when it came to shoes.... then I suppose it would be better if he took care of the account and gave me an allowance, but that wouldn't be because I wasn't working.  That would be due to a lack of intelligence or self control on my part, kwim?

IrishSetterGrl

- Why do you think some women prefer being homemakers while others want to work?

For most people, I'm guessing the answer is: Kids.  "Why have them and hand them to someone else to raise?" is a popular viewpoint I think. We can't AFFORD to raise a family on one income, so we have no choice in that... but I sure wish I didn't HAVE to work, just so I could stay home with my little one and just be a mum, doing mum things.  I think kids NEED their mum.  Or their dad.  One parent devoting themselves to just being a parent.  Don't get me wrong, childcare has distinct advantages.... allowing the kids to socialise in a way they otherwise wouldn't in this day and age.  So much so that Will still goes for a few sessions per week, even tho I am not working.  It's an expense, but we stretch to it.  But it pains me when I have to make him go full time.

IrishSetterGrl

- Do you think, in today's society, that women are expected to do it all? Meaning, they are expected to: work, be a perfect mom, look good 24/7, be a "good wife", etc?

YES!

I work in a very "driven" industry and I see a lot of parents make absolutely no time for their kids.  I believe I ranted about a woman I work with that just had a baby and was complaining because her daycare said she couldn't leave her newborn there for more than 10 or 12 hours on such a consistent basis.  She doesn't need to work (I know her husband and trust me, he makes plenty).  So my question to them is why did you have 3 kids? 

Also, there are alot of my friends that said there was no way they could live on one salary.  Well around here, with so much unemployment, they had to and guess what, they are OK.  Maybe they dont get all the new stuff they are used to, or get to eat out 3-4 times a week, buy $7/$8 lunches everyday or their kids don't get private lessons (must do parks and rec - horror), etc. but they are doing just fine now.  When asked if they will go back to work, they say no.  I also know that for a lot of families, they really truly need both incomes, that is different.  I am talking about families that prefer to have "more" so they both need to work.  They need to ask themselves when does having more interfere with being a parent.

I am with Gina, I cannot imagine getting home so late in the evening and having to do the whole parenting thing.  I am so lucky that I get home at 3:30 everyday and can work from home, etc. when I need to so I get that extra time everyday. 

And don't worry, DHs do surprise you.  I just got of the phone with mine and he told me how is morning was, dog puked, Riley wet through her diaper all over her new bedspread, so a bath for her, he's cleaning the carpet and inbetween make 2 meals, fight down three doses of medicine with her, and manage to walk the dog all before noon.  It's not easy, but the reward is amazing!