Prayers for my friend please

OMG!  How terrible is that!  Oh, I don't know what to say other than I will be thinking of her and hoping for the best for her.  What a shame, the poor thing.

 I'm so sorry Cathy; I can't imagine how devastated she must be, and worried about her son.  I'll keep her and her family in my prayers.

I'm so sorry Cathy.  I'll keep her in my prayers.

so sorry to hear that!! i'll keep her in my thoughts!

I'm so sorry to hear this, Cathy.  Her family must be devastated.  Prayers for all of them coming from us.

Joyce

 Oh that's awful. My friends mom is going through this exact thing so I know how you feel :( I hope that your friend finds some treatment.

Thanks everyone. I wanted to call her yesterday but I just knew I'd fall apart and she certainly doesn't need to be consoling me right now. What do you say in a situation like this? When she was first diagnosed, I found it easy to be upbeat and optimistic. She was far from upbeat or optimistic though and I think she's only recently found some happiness again because the treatments were completed. Between the surgery, radiation and chemo, it's been a brutal year. Now, she starts all over again? Or maybe she'll forego more treatment.  I don't know, but I've done a bit of reading and the news is extremely dismal. I just can't accept that someone so young and so vibrant might not have long to live.

The only thing I can say, Cathy, is just be her friend.  Friendship doesn't always mean you have to say anything.  Just be with her.  I'm so sad to hear of the spread of her cancer.  She, her family & you are in my thoughts.  ((HUGS))

Cathy, I know how you are feeling, I have gone thru this with 2 frieinds 1 is still cancer free after 1 year.  My other friend lost her battle to a quickly spreading cancer.    I seem to find that I know more people that have to deal with this horrible disease.   My advise to you is be the kind of friend that she can talk to.   She will have some trouble sharing her feelings with her family.  Both my friends told me that lending my "ear" was very important to them.   Allow her to cry, share her fears, get angry, discuss her thoughts, she will need someone to open up to and family is too close.    I cried like a baby with my friends and for my friends but they could tell me anything they needed to get off their chest.  The friend I lost had nursed her husband thru cancer that resulted in his passing.   She was so afraid of being a burden on her children, your friend may be having those same feelings.   My prayers are with you that you will have the strength to help her thru and with her family and of course with your friend for healing.

Sometimes you don't 'say' anything -- you just be there, you ask "how are you today".  Not how are you feeling, not open ended "how are you".  Just "how are you today?"  THAT is a question that can be answered.

You're all absolutely right and I really appreciate the thoughtfulness and advice. Acting like a cheerleader at this point would probably just make her mad. I know it would me.

Her 4 sisters and a brother were arriving today and they're all going to Yosemite for a few days. It was planned prior to her test results but it couldn't have worked out better. They'll still be here when she meets with the oncologist next week too. I'll visit with her once they've left. Hopefully I'll have shaken some of this sadness off by then.

Cathy,  I'm late seeing this, but wanted to offer my good thoughts and vibes to your friend and her family, as well as to you.  I can't imagine facing something like your friend is facing, and I wouldn't know what to do or say if I were you either.  What a heartbreaking situation.  The only thing I can think of, even though I'm not a mother, is her primary worry must be her child.  Even if you don't know what to do or say about her current diagnosis, I would think that it would comfort her greatly to know her child will be embraced and supported by friends and family no matter what is ahead.  Just getting that message to her might be all she needs to hear right now.  I'll keep all of you in my thoughts.

 Me, too.  And I can tell you, as someone who cares for an extremely ill person, that you really don't have to talk.  You can just "hang out" - too often, people who don't know what to say just disappear.  I know you won't do that, and she will too.

tacran

The only thing I can think of, even though I'm not a mother, is her primary worry must be her child.  Even if you don't know what to do or say about her current diagnosis, I would think that it would comfort her greatly to know her child will be embraced and supported by friends and family no matter what is ahead.

That's an excellent point Tracy and I know she's more worried about her son than anything else. Her husband is about 10 yrs older than she is, so I know that concerns her too. Her son has been the light of her life and she was able to quit work about 2 yrs and be a stay at home mom for the first time. I'm glad she was able to experience that. I also think that some of my struggle comes from having lost my mom to ovarian cancer when I was 12. I feel her pain from so many perspectives. I know my mom worried about not being there for us, and it took me a very long time to get over losing her. I also remember watching her suffer and the memories still break my heart. Mostly though, I have found over the last several years that I can't stop thinking about how young she was. My mom was 44 when she died and it wasn't until I was close to that age myself that it hit me like a truck. Wow - that's really young! - but, this isn't about me and I need to suck it up and be the friend that she needs now. When she was first diagnosed last fall, she refused to see or talk to anyone for a few months. Hopefully she won't feel that way now. I'm going to call and visit her as soon as her houseguests have gone.