FourIsCompany
Posted : 12/6/2007 7:39:25 AM
Great posts, as usual, corvus. 
corvus
If someone wants it more, they get it. [...] It's the same thing, but a different perspective.
I
agree. It's pretty much the same thing I'm talking about, but using
different words to describe it. The difference (to me) is that I would
not use physical force in my equal relationships with other
adult humans. Because they are completely autonomous. I wouldn't impose
my will on them. I would let them know my opinion, but wouldn't push
past letting them know.
In a partnership with a child or dog, I would
use physical force (hold their hand, insist they wear a collar and
leash, don't leave the yard, etc) because the world is a dangerous
place and it's my responsibility to keep them safe and to keep other people safe and from being bothered by them. You may see that as me wanting their safety more than they want
their freedom. That's valid. But if my husband decided to leave, I
would not put a collar on him and keep him here, no matter how much I
wanted him to stay.
I found the number one point of your next post to be somewhat confusing. I believe you're saying you used a "puppy pin" and so did your mother and the dog grew up adoring you both, but wasn't safe around anyone else unless they convinced him on their own that they were
okay. Yet you say he never challenged anyone in the family once he was out of puppyhood. Do you mean he wasn't safe around strangers? Just a little confusing, but I think I get your point.
corvus
Yes, it was violent, even though I didn't hurt him.
I have never considered what I did as violent at all, as there was no intent to harm or injure by either party. And it was really very calm and without much resistance at all (except for B'asia - she resisted for a while - she was older than the others). If you mean it was forceful or intense, I can understand that. But if he intended to harm you and you stopped it, I don't consider that violence (on your part) but self preservation. And I would consider it aggression on his, not violence. I don't think a dog has the capacity for violence, which usually comes out of hatred. Only aggression, which usually comes out of fear.
Would you say that the fact that you and your mother both pinned this aggressive puppy set up part of the foundation of your later relationship with him?