Dog Community

"Hugging"

Posted : 11/17/2006 9:54:17 PM

Hi! You all know me from the "Lab eats everything" thread. I have another issue with my other dog. She's a sweet, loving 2-year-old Golden Retriver/German Shepherd mix, who we just adopted from the Humane Society a couple of months ago. Here's some background on her:

She was picked up as a stray roaming the streets, unspayed, in poor health. She had an infection which took a month to clear up, so she was at the Humane Society for a month before we adopted her. She is VERY affectionate (in fact, she's downright desperate for affection) and playful, but we noticed when we first got her that she cringed, cowered and piddled if you move too suddenly around her. We suspect that she may have been mistreated by whoever had her before us.

She's doing much better after two months in our care. She almost never piddles on the floor now, and while she still cringes sometimes if we move too quickly, it's not nearly as bad or as frequent. Here's her only real bad habit: she's what I call a "huggy" dog. This involves her standing on her back legs and wrapping her front legs around my midsection and laying her head on my chest. It's very cute and sweet, but I want to discourage this because she tries to do it with everyone, including small children. I'm concerned that someone could get badly hurt if she knocks them down, otherwise I honestly wouldn't be bothered by this behavior.

My concern is that, while I want to discourage her from this, knowing that she may have been abused in the past I want to discourage her as gently as possible. I've been trying to just gently push her off while saying "off", but it doesn't seem to be working. We are also showering her with as much affection as possible, since she seems to crave it so much. I'm afraid to try anything harsher with her, considering her possible past of abuse. Does she just need more time, do you think? It's only been two months, but I thought I'd see some change by now since I've always heard that GSD's and GRD's are two highly intelligent and trainable breeds. I've been giving her lots of praise when she obeys commands, and just trying a gentle but firm "no", "off", etc. when she disobeys. It's strange, but for a dog who acts as if she has been mistreated, she is incredibly affectionate. Is this a trait of her breeds? She's the first GRD or GSD I've ever had, so I admit that I'm not really familiar with all the quirks of those breeds.

Like I said, her "hugging" wouldn't even concern me except for the fact that she's knocked a couple of smaller kids down (including my 4-year-old nephew and 8-year-old daughter). I don't want anyone getting hurt, but I also don't want her to feel betrayed or unloved by us.

Shohin

Posted : 11/17/2006 11:03:31 PM

Try to train the dog to do it on command . . . or only when invited. Basically teach the dog when its ok, and when its not . . . s/he's got the behavior down, now you need to cue it.

Ruth

Posted : 11/17/2006 11:33:48 PM

Putting it on a cue is a good suggestion. Basically you want to turn the behavior into a command, so that you are in control of when it's appropriate. To elaborate a little more: You can start by giving the command as she is starting to go up for a hug (cute behavior, BTW, she sounds like such a sweet love bug!): Fluffy, hug! Then when she gets there praise her "good hug" and maybe treat. Pretty soon she'll start to understand that the command and the action are linked. Once she gets it, then you can ask her to do it -- and if she does it when you didn't ask, that isn't a correct response, she doesn't get a treat.

If you're going to be inviting her to jump up for cuddles, I would also think you'd want a solid off command as well. You can get that in the same method of putting it on cue -- when you sense she's heading down, give the command and then praise/reward her for it when she gets all four paws on the ground.

Another way to keep her from doing the hug is to give her an incompatable task. She can't hug and sit at the same time, so when you think she wants to greet someone that way, ask her to sit. If you are consistent, eventually she will conclude that sitting is the proper way to greet people, and she'll start doing it without being asked.

Is she clicker-trained? She sounds like an excellent candidate for it and it might be really good for her -- from her mix she sounds like she should be a smart, very trainable dog, and clicker training often is a great confidence builder for shy or scared dogs,

lus a bonding opportunity for you with a newly-adopted dog. And it's not physical at all -- you don't need to touch the dog, or even raise your voice -- so you would be able to do a lot of training without worrying about being too rough with her. Check out Clicking with your Dog by Peggy Tillman. Clicker techniques are perfect for doing something like putting that hug on command.

Katran

Posted : 11/18/2006 2:45:13 AM

Thanks for the suggestions guys! Training her to hug on cue (and only one cue) sounds like a good solution. I could still get my hugs, but won't have to worry about anyone being surprised and knocked over.

I honestly don't know if she's clicker-trained or not. She has had some training, as she came to us knowing how to sit, stay, and a few other commands. But we have had to do some work with her to get a little more consistency, as it was kinda hit or miss as to whether or not she would respond to a command. I will definitely take a look at that book.

Thanks! [

]

spiritdogs

Posted : 11/18/2006 8:48:57 AM

I would not put that behavior on cue. It's a behavior rooted in fear (you might view it as rather pathetic and not cute, once you begin to understand dog behavior better, which you will if you hang out here at idog [

]), and it's a demanding behavior, so I would, just as with the submissive urination, ignore her while she's doing it. Do not give in, and do nothing, even eye contact, to reward her for it. She needs your help to build her confidence. Doing that will convince her that you are the leader, and there's nothing to fear. When guests come, put her on a buckle collar, and a leash. You can step on the leash, so that she cannot jump on anyone, and lure her into a "sit" with a treat. When she sits, you can say "good sit" and give her the treat. Guests can do the same. No petting or attention of any kind unless she sits to greet. If you can be firm and consistent about that, soon she will have much better door manners and be more confident.
It sounds like you need to enroll her in a basic manners class at a good training facility. www.clickertraining.com has a trainer search. Their new webpage is a bit harder to navigate than the old one, but it's there...

Katran

Posted : 11/18/2006 11:45:26 PM

Thanks for the tip and especially for the website. While I don't mind her hugging me, I know that not all my guests are too keen for a dog (especially one who loves to roll around in her pool, then in the dirt) to be all over them.

luvmyswissy

Posted : 11/19/2006 9:41:31 AM

I think the point Spiritdogs is making is a good point. You should mind her "hugging" you. She is not hugging (I love you) she is clinging due to nerviousness and fear. Stablize the dog by showing her there is nothing to fear, you are the leader and she can trust your decisions.

The past is the past you now need to bring her to the here and now, your loving home with no fear and leadership and love.

Katran

Posted : 11/19/2006 11:46:55 AM

ORIGINAL: luvmyswissy

She is not hugging (I love you) she is clinging due to nerviousness and fear.

That is something I had not considered, because she doesn't seem nervous or fearful in any other way (except for the cringing when we move suddenly, but she almost never does that now). It just breaks my heart to think that someone might have mistreated her. It's so sickening! I get the feeling that she is desperate for affection, that even though we give her plenty of it she is always afraid that it will stop one day.

spiritdogs

Posted : 11/19/2006 12:21:02 PM

It's quite possible that no one ever mistreated her. Shyness and fearfulness are dominant traits in dogs - survival skills in the wild. So, a dog that has had insufficient socialization as a pup and adolescent may exhibit behavior that looks like something bad might have happened to them. In any case, as was said, you can't do anything about her past, so don't dwell on that - instead, just boost her confidence now.

houndlove

Posted : 11/19/2006 2:56:32 PM

Marlowe hugs too, and I put it on cue for the reasons described, along with "off". But he's also not an anxious dog and while he does hug me when he's stressed, those times are pretty few and far between, so I allow it.

Everyone is right, for a really anxious dog you have to not coddle them until they can gain some confidence for themselves. Which I know is really hard and heartbreaking, since we went through it with Conrad.

Katran

Posted : 11/19/2006 8:53:11 PM

I'm just not sure she's anxious though. Except for when we first got her, none of her other behaviors are what I would describe as anxious or nervous. She's very friendly with everyone, did come to us already pretty well trained, doesn't start at loud noises, cars, etc. I know she was found wandering the streets by the Humane Society, but of course we have no idea how long she was on the streets. Someone apparently trained her at some point.

Well, as many of you have said, I don't know her full past and never will, so no point in dwelling on it.

calliecritturs

Posted : 11/19/2006 9:28:49 PM

I have to agree with Anne -- but I'd go one step further. Because most of we humans LOVE our contact time with the dogs, simply replace the 'hugs' with something more controlled and acceptable. Billy did this -- in fact, the rescue who had him before nicknamed him "Huggins" (those were bad days for him and he HATES that name). But I'm convinced it was because someone like that behavior.

So I taught him to lie down with me and I put my arms around him (both of us on our bellies) and touch foreheads. I snuggle into him and he's learned to snuggle into me ... but it's ONLY done at my instigation and in the appropriate place/time. But that is precious time to him now.

The sooner you can give this dog something to excel at that he is GOOD at the better you'll all feel. I would teach him some 'touch' type behavior -- one he CAN do with guests and get praised for it. Like .. he 'sits' and WAITS for someone to offer a hand to 'gimme paw'. It's attention. It's ALL positive and he'll love it. But it's a great ice breaker with kids and adults -- the dog is SITTING and it's all under your control. And the dog will love it because it will get him tons of positive attention from everyone.

Michael H

Posted : 11/20/2006 3:13:00 AM

ORIGINAL: Katran

She's very friendly with everyone, did come to us already pretty well trained, doesn't start at loud noises, cars, etc.

I'm a practicing volunteer dog trainer at a private animal shetler, and I doubt the Humane Society you got your dog from trained him. It probably was the previous owner. Our trainers work with the adopters even after the dog leaves the shelter. We make sure the adopters know how to perform all the cues the dog was taught during his stay at the shelter.

Katran

Posted : 11/20/2006 10:11:39 AM

ORIGINAL: nocturnal76
I'm a practicing volunteer dog trainer at a private animal shetler, and I doubt the Humane Society you got your dog from trained him. It probably was the previous owner.

Oh I agree. My feeling is that some previous owner trained her and then either lost or abandoned her, or trained her but also was mean to her. Either way, she's ours now.

Calliecritturs, thanks for the tip. She already sits on command perfectly, and she has one other behavior that I love: she will lay by my feet with her chin on one of my feet while I rub her head and back with my other foot. She has fallen asleep that way. She really seems to enjoy it and I do too. She doesn't seem to understand the "lay down" command yet, so we're working on that, but if I can get her to do that on cue that's certainly one behavior that I wouldn't at all mind subsituting for the hugging. I have also found that when she sits, if I rub under her chin with one hand and the top of her head with the other, she just seems to love it. And it definitely keeps her under my control because as soon as she tries to rise up to hug I can gently push her back down. I used to say "No" when I did that, but now I say "Sit" and then rub her head and chin again and say "Good girl" or "Good Maggie" after she sits.

Here's another behavior I didn't think to mention: She loves stuffy toys, and will often carry them around and whimper. She doesn't seem to be looking to play, because she will walk right past us and wander around the house as if she is looking for something. We thought at first that she wanted us to play with her, but when we would call her or try to get the stuffy to toss it for her (she loves, loves, LOVES to fetch), she would just go right past us. Knowing that she wasn't spayed until the Humane Society picked her up, we're wondering if she had puppies at one point that she is looking for. But it's been at least 3 months since they took her in, and my sister said that a male dog she once had did the same thing, and he was neutered at 6 months. Anyone have any ideas about this? I've never had a dog do this before.

Ruth

Posted : 11/20/2006 12:20:27 PM

She is probably looking for a place to bury the toy, and whining since she's inside and can't find a good spot. My dog does that too. Assuming you don't want her to take the toy outside and actually bury it, you can try piling up some blankets or towels and showing her that she can bury the toy in the pile.