I'm at the end of my rope

Xeph, I see you're in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I'm in Madison, Wisconsin. I work part-time as an assistant group dog trainer and the owner of the facility I train at is a dog behavior consultant for the Laborador Education and Rescue Network. I'd be happy to contact her and ask her what you can do as far as rehoming, rescues, etc.

Xeph sounds like you started with some preconceived notions about the breed and this dog in particular.  So take a deep breath and relax for a second. 
 
Labs are not GSDs.  They have needs that are much more diverse than your other dogs do.  Find that dogs motivator and accept him into your pack.  This is more than just providing food and shelter. 
 
Work with this rascal, I think you'll be surprised at how well he responds if you meet his motivational and social needs.  Labs are usually eager to please, but full of energy.  Alot of Labs that I know are ball obsessed.  They will chase a ball 24 hours and never tire of the game.  It's amazing to watch how focused they can be with just chasing a ball.  If you get bored of that, try putting obstacles...(a kiddie pool or a small jump) in the way. 
 
I know what you mean about being at the end of your rope, but you have a great heart and this dog needs you.

Have you tried instituting a strong NILIF program with the dog?  I've got a Pit Bull puppy, which is another breed that tends to be super-spazzy in it's youth, and, although I'm still trying to learn more about NILIF and proper implimentation of it, we have instituted some of the principles with our dog and have gotten good results so far.  Also, the idea that someone mentioned of training the dog to do what it was originally bred to do might work as long as the dog isn't truly untrainable.  Hunters often train their retreivers using shock collars, definitely NOT a +R method (which you sound like you've given up on with this dog), but that's what's commonly accepted as the way to train a retreiver to do it's job, so if you don't have a moral opposition to the method, it might be what will work for you.  You'd have to read up carefully on how to use this method before you use it, of course, and maybe even talk to some bird hunters.  But check into the dog's breeding... like a couple other people have mentioned, a lot of labs and goldens have been bred to be what you have... a pet for people who like silly, energetic dogs, and are useless for their breed's original purpose (I remember when I was a kid and got a pet golden, my dad used to duck hunt and thought he'd get back into it since we had a retriever... until we found out that the dog refused to fetch, hated water, and was terrified of loud noises!).
 
But, if you really don't like the dog or the breed, maybe it's just not the dog for you.  There's plenty of people out there who want goofy, energetic dogs and don't really care if the dog is well-mannered, so maybe the dog would be better off with someone who's personality better fits the dog.

I feel sorry for your dog.  The situation sounds so unfair for him.  Your attitude is immature  and you are comparing everything about this adopted dog to your chosen favorite dog.  How does the lab feel?  I bet he is feeling like a foster child, dumped onto you and no love to have for his own.
 
I just got finished cleaning up a huge mess in my family room.  Two puppies ,8mo. old and they are not liking my new routine...So, I have a curtain that was partially eaten (was new) and my oriental rug pissed and shat on!  Now my older husky was grown all out of those behaviors, and a beautiful dog to walk with and everything else about him seemed perfect.  And now I have these two clowns!  But I love the buggers and I wouldn't let them go for all of the destructions they can and do cause. I do get mad, but I just send them out and cool off and pick up, clean up.  I could have a perfect house, and perfect yard instead, not to mention the ease of cleaning up...and being free to leave without thinking about them.
 
Life is a lot richer when it isn't all about me and perfection.  I know I have far from perfect and not even close.  But love your dogs and love your family.  Just do it.
 
Be kind, love that dog!  It is not his fault ..Look into his eyes and see the pain he must feel that you do not act like you want him.  The dog sees your frustration just as sure as you are looking at him.

I can't "rehome" the dog.  I got the dog because my mother begged me to take him so Austin could still see him.  I think I'm just going to see if she'll take him back.  If my attitude is immature, fine, it's immature.  It's not a breed I like, so sue me.  Sure is a good example of why you don't do favors for family though >.<

I'm sorry, Xeph, I know you're not going to like to hear this, but I agree with dogslife.  It's not fair to the dog.  You labeled this dog as a 'lab' before you got him, and therefore are preventing any possible chance of a relationship with him.  You need to rehome him.  Your brother from what I've heard isn't the best when it comes to dogs.  If he doesn't want to take care of it, he can't expect you to do it.  You need to put the dog first in this situation.  You should have thought of this before you agreed to take this on.  If you knew you couldn't stand it, then you shouldn't have taken it. 

I do think it's rejudiced to think that because you dislike a breed, you will never like any individuals of that breed.  It's not a very mature attitude to have especially in this situation.

The brother is nine...there's really not much he can do with the dog.  And it was either take the dog, or listen to my mom yell at me and blame me for the next umpteen years that Austin was unhappy because "his dog" was gone.  Kind of a lose lose either way.

And I did think about it before I took him.  I kept telling her "No, I don't want him...I don't like him," and all she did was guilt trip me into it.  I'm just going to sign him back over and she can decide what to do with him

Ok, then, why can't your mother take the dog?  If your brother is only 9, then it must have been your mother who gave permission to get a dog in the first place.  Listen, I can see where you're coming from, I'm trying to imagine myself somehow being stuck with a Pekinese or something (sorry to fans of that breed).  I think the people who are calling you immature for not wanting the dog are being a little rough, some people just don't like certain breeds of dogs... but that being said, if you knew you wouldn't want that particular dog, it was irresponsible of you to agree to take the dog.  And it was short-sighted of your mother to purchase a dog for a child if there was not absolute commitment to care for the dog no matter what.  If for some reason I absolutely had to get rid of my dog, I wouldn't shove her off on a family member who didn't want her just so I could see her.  YES, it would absolutely break my heart to give her up to a stranger and I would much rather give her to someone I know, but if an appropriate person to care for my dog was not amongst my circle of friends and family, I would call a rescue and have her placed with people who would love her and cherish her.
 
So far, 2 people have made a commitment to care for this dog.  Your mother couldn't complete the commitment and gave him to you, so now you really only have two choices:  get the appropriate professional training to help the dog with obedience, and read up on the breed so that you can find your own solutions, as well, and then PROPERLY care for this dog OR find someone who can and is willing to do this and give them the dog instead.  I know that you want to make your family happy, but while you try to please them the dog is suffering.  You obviously really love German Shepherds, so think if the roles were reversed and you were on here reading about someone who hated YOUR favorite breed but had one anyway and didn't know what to do with it... then think about the advice you would give that person.

Does your mother dislike this poor dog as much as you do?  (And do you realize you never even use the poor dear's name -- it's always "this dog" or "that animal"?  It's terribly sad to me that after all this time that is where your relationship is at.)  She tried to offload him once already, after all.  Honestly I really don't see how sending him back there will be best for anyone.  

The dog needs a home where he is wanted, loved, cared for, and treated with kindness.  My opinion is that if nobody in your family is willing (or in the case of your little brother, able) to provide that environment for him, then you should be big-hearted enough to find him a home that will.  Even if it means taking some lumps with your mother.  Think of the dog and your family in the long run -- how is it better for you to keep this animal around for another 10+ years, to be nothing more than an irritating chore to everyone involved?  Will that improve your relationship with your mother?  I think you should step up to the plate and do what's right for the dog.  The guilt trip will wear off, both your hoiseholds will be happier, and the dog will get a chance to live a happy life. 
 
ETA:  If your mother's only issues with the dog are lack of training, then maybe you could send him away for boarding-training?  I don't usually recommend that, but perhaps this is the type of situation where it might be a reasonable idea.  Would your mother be able to love and handle the dog if he had solid obedience training? 

First of all, I don't think you did anyone a favor by taking on this dog. You state in your first post that you were offering a favor to your mother, yeah, you were thinking of the dog first. Not. You offered to take the dog to favor your mother, not the dog. You want people to think that you were "doing all you could" to help out, when, in my opinion, you were just trying to take on this challenging dog because you think you are an expert in training and pretty much anything with dogs. I think that this is out of your control. I think since you don't like this dog and he knows it, he's not going to work for you. You love Strauss to death, he works for you. Coincidence? Yeah... I think you're trying to cut out on this dog because, you, the expert can't handle him and make him come around to do what you want. Which is a bit of a bruise to the ego that we've always seen all these years.

People tell me to try and pretend but all I feel for this dog is disdain, and it makes me angrier because I love working with dogs, but I just want to chuck this one away and never look at him again >.<.  He's not rewarding to work with.

I think this is the most telling part. You only want a "fun challenge." Something for yourself, not the dog, no?

Breed prejudice aside, you're talking about an individual like Laur said. In the last few years talking with you in chat/im/ect, you have never liked this dog, what made you think you'd want to train the dog without even regarding doing your mother a favor? And I say want because in order to do something successfully, you have to want to do it, not just bs your way through and hope it works out.

I think it's a bit spineless that you couldn't stand up to your mother about the situation where the dog was suffering. From what you've been saying since your brother got that dog, he never gave him any home training and all you would do was complain about your brother over it and how much you didn't like the dog, just like you are now. I hope you don't send him back to your mother and brother. Even you who has a reasonable amount of experience in training dogs can't handle him, what makes you think it would be a healthy decision to send him back where he came from with people who obviously know less than you do. I mean, honestly.

If you want to be "rid of him" so badly, rehome him and face your mother about the "issues" that have been and still are going on with him. I'm sorry, "mommy and family guilt tripping me into it" isn't that great of an excuse. Grow up.

I absolutely cannot stand this dog. Labradors are my least favorite breed to begin with, and this one just takes the cake. Sorry Lab lovers, but I just cannot stand this breed. 
 
 

Never have I disliked a dog as much as I dislike this one. I need some suggestions to break these bad habits. Postive reinforcement isn't working...sorry. I don't even want to go to that one. We haven't made any improvements at all. I guess I need some reassurance and for somebody to grant me strength, because I honestly just want to be rid of him.

 
Personally, I think life is too short to spend as much time with a dog you don't like if you're spending as much time with the lab as I spend with my dogs.  Look at it this way, if your friend were married to someone her parents pressured her into marrying and said "I can't stand him, I've never met a man I disliked more, the only reason I married him was because mom liked him" and she never said a good word about him, what would you tell her to do?  Stay married or divorce?
 
The dog has got to know you don't like him, your fuse is already short with him (and that probably carries over into training Mouse).  He's been shuffled around and all he can do is act like a lab.  Really, short of morphing into a GSD, is there anything that would make you happy with this dog?
 
I'd say rehome him (and not back with mom who has already demonstrated she doesn't want him either) or view him as a training challange and rise to the occasion. 

ORIGINAL: Xeph

I can't "rehome" the dog.  I got the dog because my mother begged me to take him so Austin could still see him.  I think I'm just going to see if she'll take him back.  If my attitude is immature, fine, it's immature.  It's not a breed I like, so sue me.  Sure is a good example of why you don't do favors for family though >.<

I must say that, in all honesty, I have lost a bit of respect for you, given your response. 
You knew you didn't want to do this from the get go in all probability - and it isn't this dog's fault that you didn't have the guts to say no.   [sm=smack.gif]

Xeph is young! It sounds like he's just out of high school himself. I can see it from all points of view here, really, but perhaps the main issue is the family one. Trying to help out and be a hero can only work when we are doing it with a open mind and a willing heart. And that goes whether you're reroofing somebody's house, babysitting on Friday nights, or taking a dog you never wanted.
 
I kind of am a Lab lover, though mine aren't real Labs (they're Terrible Labs, as my boss says) but it took me quite some time to give in to them. I had a serious-minded hound for years and everything worked so nice between us and then I caved to my heart with my little Ellie and she was nothing like my hound. She was so awful I cried and cried.
 
And I'm not saying this is you, Xeph, but it took me about 8 months (puppy training) to really "get" her and to really accept her for her. Of course, when she came into the house looking like the Abominable SnowWoman one night, she helped her cause.
 
Both my dogs are still VERY immature and they're over 3, but having a boss who's a dog lover (total positive trainer) and a very big Lab lover helps me laugh through the rough times. And I've learned what makes them tick and what their outlets are, etc.
 
However, the main thing is that I WANTED these two dogs; an unwanted dog is a very sad thing indeed. Providing he has no serious physical issues, there has to be a home for a purebred. Only, there, I'm afraid, will Buddy truly be happy.
 
Find him a home and never forget this.

I think you are way too immature to be up to the task of caring for a dog that you don't like.  I'm worried about some of the things you mentioned, like that you want to "clock" him.  That's not acceptable thinking and whether or not you'd act on that is not the issue.  If you are that frustrated and upset I think you do need to find him a new home.  And, then you need to explain that to your mom.  I don't think she realizes the degree of hatred that you have for the dog.  
 
But, this isn't the first time I've questioned your patience with dogs.  I've read some past posts of yours regarding your own dogs.  It doesn't sound like you have much patience when things don't go your way.  Sometimes just reading your posts make me edgy, your always so high strung.  I'm not trying to attack you at all.  I've been known to be the same way.  And, sometimes it took someone ELSE to point it out to me. 
 
I know your human but please take a breath and try to control your emotions.  ANY animal is going to need that.  How many times have you heard that. . .calm, assertive, calm assertive. . .

You should discuss these things with your mom. She needs to understand your compatibility (or lack thereof) with the dog, and why rehoming is likely the best solution. You will have to stand up to her if she refuses to accept the reality of this situation. They made a mistake in taking this dog, and you made one in trying to fix theirs.