Going nuts

My guys (probably about as big as your dog) get an extra-large black Kong. That fits about 2 cups of kibble (I soak it in water, mix with peanutbutter and freeze overnight). They also each get a large etstages Orka Jack that has dry kibble in it (fits about one cup) that they have to roll around to get the kibble out.
 
My guys as well thought the BusterCube type toys were just elaborate hoaxes because it was so hard to get the food out and they couldn't really see it. At first with these types of toys you need to make the task easy so the dog "wins the game" a few times before making them more of a challenge.

I guess I'm going to just be blunt here.
 
All this screaming and yelling NO NO NO and using pain and fear as training tools are damaging to your dog, and have you not noticed in 2.5 years that they are NOT working?  And if you've tethered this dog to you for TWO AND A HALF years and are still seeing no positive results, has it not occured to you that you need some professional help?
 
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that if you don't have time to give the attention that the dog wants that you also don't have time to give the exercise that the dog NEEDS.  I suspect that the major training attempts are made when the dog gets really annoying?  You can't train that way, not sucessfully.  It needs to be an ongoing, several time a day kind of thing.  Thor is 4.5 and he STILL has multiple mini training sessions every day.  All my dogs do.  They need the chance to "practice" what they've been taught each and every day.  It isn't a huge amount of work, it just in time becomes part of the fabric of your life to ask for a sit or a down or whatever as you go through the day.
 
If I can manage to incorporate this into MY day, with a full time job, a Mom who's spent as much time IN as out of hospitals this past year and is now in assisted living and pretty needy, and SIX dogs, I think that just about anyone can find those few extra minutes.  It's about priorities.  I can promise you that when I get home from work the LAST thing I want to do is get the dogs out for a run, but I change my clothes, I get dinner going and I take three at a time out for a romp, and honestly this time of year, it's usually in the yard with a good game of fetch, but they get outside the fence each and every day to run off some of that energy.  I leave and return in the dark.  I hate the short days of winter and the lack of sunshine, and I'm drained by the time I come home.  But, the dogs need what the dogs need and they get what they need, and it gives me a break from being "responsible" to just go out and play with them.
 
I'm not a trainer.  I'm a self proclaimed expert on nothing.  But I still have very well behaved dogs who don't hump the couch, don't counter surf and don't get into the trash.  It can be done.  But it does take a consistent effort.

Well, thanks for everyone's responses.

I will definetly try the frozen Kong idea.

So, what I gathered from everyone concerning the couch humping issue is this: exercise him more and train more often the basic obedience commands. I hope I'm correct at this.
I'm not sure that this will solve the issue but I am willing to try.

I started last night. When I came home from work I took Jules for a run/walk for 30 min. Later in the evening I did a training session with him for 10 minutes of basic commands like sit, stay, come, heel. We did all kinds of variations. Response to vocal commands in Englsih and German as well as sound cues like clapping and whistling. Then we played fetch a bit (which we do every night anyway.) Can I get him tired enough so he will not have enough energy to hump the couch? (HA!) I'll stick with this and see what happens before purchasing an e-collar.

Thanks for the advice.

Sounds like you are definately getting off on the right foot.  I'm sure your dog will appreciate the extra exercise and attention.  Props to you for making the effort before resorting to a collar.  Keep at it, I'm sure it will help!!

When my pup has pent up energy he chews everything, gets into everything, basically does everything he's NOT supposed to do.  After my dog comes home from his 2 hour play session at the dog park, he hangs out on the couch like a little angel.  This is not a coincidence.  I feel your pain mstrydream, so try REALLY exercising a good, hardy, healthy, energetic dog like a lab and see what happens.  After he's blown off some steam, I doubt he'll make a beeline for the couch to start humping it.  Some dogs are set with 3 mins of exercise a day, some could use like 2 hours if you had it to give!

Yes, Jules is nice and quiet too when we come home from the dog park. He's too exhausted to move. My goal here was to get a solution to train him not to hump the couch even when he's not exhausted. I see dogs loose in the house who don't destroy anything. Like my friend's German Shorthair Pointer. He doesn't sit in a crate all day. She lives in an apt. so it's not like he has that much room to run. He doesn't hump anything. He just hangs out there chewing his toys. I would want Jules to be like that too!

I began training him with treats actually. I never used neg. reinforcement until I noticed that he took advantage of treats. (He would begin doing a negative action expecting me to give him a command to destract him, like "come" or "sit", to get a treat.) He's very intelligent. Can I make him dumb?!?! JOKING.

 
This is HUGELY common.  The dog learns a chain of events, like jump on mum so she wil tell me to sit, get the attention.  Go after the chickens, get told "come", get a treat.... want another treat?  Go after the chickens and get told to come......  Don't fancy a treat?  Go after the chickens and ignore "come"..... 
 
The key is in your timing of the interruption and the timing of how you phase out the treats.  Having a dog that will recall when he is in the middle of chasing chickens is still kind of positive.... at least you have control and a way of stopping him from doing it.  But to train him not to do it at all you need to watch him carefully and interrupt before  he displays the behaviour.  When phasing out treats, you end up only rewarding for the best responses.  If he learns in order to get that treat he has to not chase the chickens at all but come to your side the instant he sees one, then BINGO!
 
So to translate to your situation, is there something that triggers the humping?  Or something that he does, some body language that he displays that clue you in that he's about to do it?  So you can break in before it begins, stop him from doing it, distract him from it and reward him for doing something else.  For example, you could get a toy that he loves and use that to play a really stimulating game with him when it looks like he is about to start humping.  Thus:  1.  He is prevented from humping the couch, 2. He is rewarded for not humping the couch 3.  He expends some of his energy and frustration in play making him less likely to return to the couch, 4.  Over time he learns an OK outlet for this energy which does not involve romantic couch encounters.
 
Does that help at all?

Yes, Jules is nice and quiet too when we come home from the dog park. He's too exhausted to move. My goal here was to get a solution to train him not to hump the couch even when he's not exhausted. I see dogs loose in the house who don't destroy anything. Like my friend's German Shorthair Pointer. He doesn't sit in a crate all day. She lives in an apt. so it's not like he has that much room to run. He doesn't hump anything. He just hangs out there chewing his toys. I would want Jules to be like that too!

 
All dogs are different though. Breed is a factor - you have a Lab, and Labs are puppylike for 2-3 years - and individual personality is another factor. I'm not saying you shouldn't continue to train and exercise, and make improvements in his behavior, but realistically you may not see a mellow, uncrated Jules for another year or so.

hhmm. I can tell that he's about to hump the couch when he comes up to it and starts to sniff. At that point I either call him over or say "no sofa" and he stops. It's sort of funny (in a sad way) that when I attempt to leave him downstairs for 10 seconds he stands there and waits until I'm on the stairs and runs for the couch. He's lucky that he's so cute! I even tried that bitter spray used for animals to prevent them on chewing things. (he grabs the cushon in his mouth and then humps) Yeah.....it's like candy to him. He just kept licking it. I think he's just humping the couch due to hormones...but he's neutered. That's another thing I don't get....

I will try the preventative measures and see is his "couch humping' subsides. Thanks.

Can I just give him some wine to calm down? ha

Can I just give him some wine to calm down? ha

 
Yes, that would be the answer, turn your dog into a "Boozing Humper".............[][]

when I attempt to leave him downstairs for 10 seconds he stands there and waits until I'm on the stairs and runs for the couch.

I know your pain - I have a dalmation who was like that! He didn't hump - but he would steal anything remotely food-like. (The big doofus one tore open a carton of candles from a candle party I had, the found the ONE candle that was scented like caramel and got it out of a cardboard box AND opened the glass jar!)

About the only suggestion I can think of is to find a way to make the couch unpleasant. You can try to cover it with that clear plastic carpet runner stuff (with the pointy things on the bottom to keep it from slipping). They sell it by the yard at hardware stores and it works well when you put it rough-side up. Or put large heavy things that he can't move on the couch. I have some small kids' folding chairs that I put on our couch when I'm trying to keep the dogs off of it after I clean it.

Have you heard of a scat mat? It gives a static shock when pets touch it. [linkhttp://www.dog.com/itemdy00.asp?T1=320206+001&srccode=FR0401]Scat Mat[/link] I've heard that some dogs still need a "dummy" mat in place to keep them off, though.

I wish there would be something Jules can't move! He's very very VERY strong. 97 lbs of muscle. I'll look up the Scan Mat. Thanks!

I think it's great that you are going the exercise/obedience route. The way you were planning to use the e-collar would not have worked the way you think it would.

I started last night. When I came home from work I took Jules for a run/walk for 30 min.

30 minutes of walking and running is about a third of what a young lab like Jules needs every day.

Other things you might want to try:

1. NILIF!
2. Have him work for all his food, either with obedience and handfeeding or out of some kind of puzzle toy
3. Does he know how to play fetch?
4. Take an obedience class--it's very stimulating, the contact with other dogs is really good for him, and a hands-on teacher who can show you exactly what to do is really valuable. Really worth the money.

Unfortunately, I don't have hours everyday to spend running with Jules. I do what I can. We do play fetch. Everyday for at least 30-45 minutes. (Just finished that and he's resting on the floor.) I try to take him to the dog park every weekend so he can run with other dogs for about 1-1.5 hrs. I can't afford obedience classes. That is why I'm learning on my own.