Affection...

I went for years strictly adhering to The Rule - don't comfort a scared dog. It's true that the first thing you want to try is see whether the dog will get through it on its own, but I've learned over the years that there are times you can stop the cycle of fear by offering support - not reinforcement, but appeasement of psychic pain, so to speak.

I've mentioned before that I no longer crate teeny puppies overnight - they sleep in the bed with me. First, it means that Pup will transfer its bond from littermates to me, much sooner. Second, Pup can get that physical comfort from me that they miss the first month or so away from the whelping pen. And finally, it means he can get me up quicker if he has to go potty - and he learns my body language at the same time I'm learning to read his. All my dogs now know the difference between when I'm getting up to get something to drink or go to the bathroom myself (don't bother moving) and when we're going outside (ALERT! Who's going?!?).

After experiencing this for a few years, I saw the sense in offering the same kind of passive comfort to my thunderphobic older dog, Ben. And it worked amazingly well. Thankfully probably 90% of our storms are at night, so I taught Ben to hop up on the bed and lie down. I'd concentrate on breathing very slowly and he'd start matching my breathing, and unbelievably he went to sleep the first time I tried this. After three or four more storms, he'd come up and just put his head down and sleep. After a couple more, it's only during gigantic, huge storms that he even remembers to hop up and seek my company.

As the years go by, I get more and more casual about The Rules - what you supposedly can and can't do with dogs under whatever circumstances. I don't know - it's more about reading the dogs and seeing what they "tell" me is going to work for them. Some dogs need more structure, others need more communication. Affection would fall under that last category. I like to err on the side of structure at first and then experiment more as I get to know the dog (except in the case of bitty puppies as I've mentioned).

ORIGINAL: DPU

ORIGINAL: DPU

CM says it is wrong to give affection "When your dog is fearful, anxious, possessive, dominant, aggressive, whining, begging, barking--or breaking any rule of your household".

Interesting posts, whenever a newbie comes in and has a similar problem as stated above, the response is always IGNORE, NO AFFECTION.  It seems that when it is our home and our dog, we are more flexible.

 
Excuse me if I repeat this post but the responses to question about giving affection when a dog is fearful or anxious surprised me.  Maybe when a Newbie comes in with these problems, we all could remember this.

Thanks, Kim, for saying so clearly what I often seem to botch up. []

I think you're absolutely right about phobias. I can ignore Penny all I like when she's terrified, but it doesn't make her any less terrified. In fact, sometimes she seems to desperately need me to acknowledge that there's something scary. It doesn't make her any less scared, but it does seem to make her calmer and better able to deal with it. I have a theory that at times when she's truly terrified, if I ignore it she gets even more scared because she assumes I've somehow failed to realise that we're all in mortal danger, and that means she's all on her own to handle it. That's a pretty scary prospect for some dogs. If I respond to her fear by speaking soothingly to her, saying her name, putting a hand on her, even making a show of checking around me as if I'm checking to make sure there's nothing super dangerous lurking around... she can usually cope without going into hysterics, and that's always good.

On the other hand, if she startles at something the first time she sees it, I ignore it and pretend nothing happened, because normally she'll look to me to see how I react to this thing and will be reassured when I don't seem to notice it. Similarly, if she gets spooked by something that's everyday and happens regularly, I'd also ignore it.

Incidentally, Becca, Kit slept with me a few nights when I first brought him home. He was so tiny and young, but he just would not settle on his own. He'd keep trying to hop out of his box. In the end, he would only settle down to sleep if he had my warmth next to him. It didn't last long, but it was interesting that hare babies are generally left on their own during the day, and he was fine on his own during the day, but at night when I went to bed, he wanted warmth and life next to him. I wonder if hares bring their litter back together at night and they have a little group snuggle for a while. I might try that one when I get my next pup. I have vivid memories of Penny and every other puppy we ever had when I was a kid crying when we left them alone at night.

Generally, I prefer to give plenty of affection.  It creates affectionate Siberians which a lot of people don't think possible.  If there is a behavior such as jumping up on guests, I will instruct them to hold up a hand as a stop sign, and to withhold affection and simply say stern NO. When the company complies, the dogs stop.  When things are calmer, everyone is sitting, and dogs may be called over for some affectionate scritch scratches.

As far as crating goes, in the beginning definately give attention to assure the pups aren't scared to death after being removed from all of their siblings and mom...In this case with the bro and the sis, we had very few probs with transferring them to our home.  They always have just adored each other...very snuggly and ....affectionate!