You guys should make a new law...

Sometimes I think there SHOULD be a law like that. Look around and tell me that John Q. Public is a great dog owner. How many millions of dogs are sitting and dying in shelters? How many are abused? Neglected? Mutilated? Infested with fleas? Less extreme, but also quite harmful... how many dogs are dying from obesity? How many have their teeth rotting out of their heads? How many have ear infections that get ignored to the point of permanent damage, because they eat the worst dog food money can buy?

And let's think..how many people on this forum have dogs with any of those issues? Extremely few? Yeah. I'd say we're doing pretty well here, and if we get a little cocky or judgemental sometimes, just ignore it.

jenn52

that only the perfect all knowing people on this board should raise dogs. No one else on this earth should be entitled. I have really gotten a lot of information from this board and I appreciate that. But some people are so incredibly rude and insensitive, that people around here should really think before they respond to peoples request for info. Not everyone has been raising dogs all their life or lives on a farm or doesnt work. There are first time dog owners who are just trying to do their best. I am sick of getting my feelings hurt on this board. It sucks because I really liked being able to ask questions without having to call the vet every 5 seconds but when people make you feel like crap, I don't know why I'm here. I'm not writing this to get sympathy, but maybe to make some of you look at yourselves and to think about the person behind the question before writing rude replies. Not everyone is a perfect dog owner and when you're getting different info from everyone you talk to, there are bound to be some mistakes. Sorry, but I had to get that off my chest.

I don't think you should be sorry.  Unfortunately, I've read other posts over the years saying almost the same thing.  There are some very strong, vocal people here.  Most of those are the same people who see the "bad" pet owners more than the rest of us, and are picking up the pieces left by them.  I'm not saying their "rough/tough" ways or being rude are right, just hoping to help you and other new comers understand them a little better.  The one thing we all have in common is our love for our dogs and other pets.  I'm glad you've been able to get some helpful information.  There really is a lot of it available on this forum.

BTW- your post was worded great.  It got your concern across without hurting feelings or being rude. 

Best course of action IMO is just to not take people seriously. Don't forget that people don't know you and don't know your dog, so whatever they're saying is only based on their interpretation of whatever you might have written and posted online. Likewise, whatever you're feeling is only based on your interpretation of whatever you might have read of what other people have written and posted online. A lot gets lost in all those reading/writing translations.

Ask yourself this: why do you feel like crap after reading posts on this board?

Chances are you're feeling like you're being judged? But when you look at it, it's impossible for anyone to judge you because they don't know you. Maybe you feel like you don't measure up to other people on the forum and how they care for their dogs? Well, again, you don't know them either so you have no way of knowing whether or not their dogs are better off. Maybe they say they have 20 dogs who are all perfectly trained, but they actually have 1 barely housebroken golden retriever who constantly eats their shoelaces. Who knows! Basically, whatever people say only has the power to make you feel bad if you allow it to do so.

In general, if you're going to interact with people over the internet, you're going to get rude responses. A lot of time it's just miscommunication and nothing rude is meant. It's best to just ignore the things that upset you and focus on whatever good you're getting and leave it at that. If you know in your heart that you're doing your best for your dog, that should be all that matters, no matter what anyone else might say, right?

Edit: a lot of the people you might be including in the "you guys" who write rude responses have most likely also been the target of rude responses themselves. I bet there are very, very few veteran members of this board whose dog care practices haven't come under criticism in one way or another. Dog care is like religion, there's no clear right answer, but lots of people believe that their way is the only way to go. As a result, someone's always wrong, no matter what.

Hey Jenn..cool it, you're doing ok. if people jump all over you then its probably something wrong with them, and not you. 

you get all sorts riding in on their high horses.... saying only certain people should be allowed to have kids/dogs/cats/ice cream cones... its all opinions... and you know what they say about opinions!! the worst flogging i ever received was when i went to an aol chat room asking how to fatten up a sick shepherd rescue (maybe i should have let him go to the pound instead?!?!).... oh boy did I get it!! "FAT?!?!?you wanna make him FAT?!?! You're feeding him WHAT??!?! Its a bloomin wonder he's still ALIVE!!!"

and besides that i'm willing to bet that the people who leap on you first are usually the ones with the guilty conscience.. or they want to take pot shots at you to teach these mysterious lurkers a lesson.. "we dont tolerate that type round these here parts! and we're gonna make darn sure to make an example out of you so others will see!!"

 

jenn52

But some people are so incredibly rude and insensitive, that people around here should really think before they respond to peoples request for info.

I am very sorry that you have gotten rude responses.  I apologize if any of those responses has ever come from me.

Writing so that one relays the same emotions that body language would convey is a skill that has to be worked at constantly.  Some people are good at it and some people are not.

Verbal conversations are constantly modified by body language that lets the speaker know whether or not he/she is being understood.  Communicating without that feedback means that one doesn't know if the listener is becoming upset or annoyed.

Please try to give people the benefit of the doubt in most cases.  When you think that people are being deliberately rude, ask them about it.  Simply ask "Are you trying to make me feel bad?" 

  I am nowhere near perfect, or all knowing when it comes to dogs.  I do know that the folks that are judgemental to the point of being militant are many times just throwing a smokescreen for what they don't know.  The truely knowledgable gurus in any subject can teach you what you may be doing wrong, in a non-judgemental way, and present it several ways if you are having a difficult time understanding.  They know that making you comfortable with the information they present is more likely to end up with you using that info to your advantage.  They know how to create a win/win situation, and are confident enough in their knowledge and ability that they don't feel the need at all to stuff their opinion down your throat.

  When I see a response such as those that are upsetting you I stop, and think that the person responding is probably just past the rookie stage in the topic, and can not convey a reasonable response without trying to boost themselves past the level of knowledge they are at.  They are often repeating information they have heard or read, and usually don't actually have much hands on experience on the topic at all.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time *hugs* . When someone is passionate about something it can come across as being rude, but really a lot of people here are just trying to help in the only way they know how. Alot of times feelings get hurt because unless someone use smilies or whatever there called you'll never truly understand there tone in what there saying. There is alot of opinions on this board and not everyone's opinion will be the same as yours, and thats how peoples feelings get hurt. But I have also seen people argue badly in one topic and be fine with each other after its all said and done. And thats the best way to handle it. Try not to dwell on those negative comments and think about how much these people care about there dogs and how much there are trying to help you. And remember all these "perfect dog owners" had to learn everything that you are learning with there first pet, and I"m sure more than a few of them made mistakes at some point. I know I did!

Anyway I'm rambling because its late, but take care and try to remember the positive things you learned from people instead of the negative things some people said   

You need to make mods aware when you feel that people are being deliberately rude.  We can't be everywhere all the time nor can we possibly see each and every post that is made.

Yes, communicating on the internet has its drawbacks and tone isn't conveyed.  But, if you feel folks are being mean and rude, please let us know.  Sometimes MY posts are short and to the point and might be seen as rude by some simply because I didn't have a lot of time to spend on the forum.

 You have to take the good with the bad in a public forum like this. Pick and choose who you listen to, that's all.

Jewlieee

 You have to take the good with the bad in a public forum like this. Pick and choose who you listen to, that's all.

Never a truer statement, IMO. Goes for real life and the 'net. Rude people abound...even off the web.

I'm sorry if you've had your feelings hurt.

Please take it with a grain of salt. As others have pointed out, sometimes written messages can sound a great deal harsher than something said in person. Some folks naturally sound terse when they post.....and yes some people can be abrasive. Try to ignore the ones that you feel are being deliberately rude and focus on the ones that offer helpful advice.

Please consider emailing someone who you feel is being nasty. It may be that someone who has less developed social skills is unaware they are being offensive and a word from you would prompt them to re-read things before they post. And if they are just being nasty you can ignore any posts with their name on them from now on.

Have a great day!

Wow. I took a moment to look over some of your past posts to see if I could see where you would have had your feelings hurt and I saw almost all positive replies to your posts.  I only saw one (though I didn't look through them all) that could have been interpreted as harsh, but I don't think the poster meant it to be and yet your response to her seemed a bit over-reactive.   I think if you really re-read some of the responses and come from a different perspective you will see how really encouraging people are on this board.  Also, it can be really great to get so many different ideas and viewpoints, even if you don't always agree with them.

I have always found this board to be positive, informative and always interesting!