You guys should make a new law...

First I don't know who was "rude" nor which section it occurred in.  Some people mistake direct for being rude.  Most of the people on this board are juggling work, family life, other daily events along with posting.  So there's limited time.  If a poster is direct and that post is taken as "rude" it not necessarily that poster's fault.  

 You're right, not everyone has 24 hours in every day to take care of their dogs.  We do what we can and what we're comfortable doing.  However, if there's a case of "my dog is sick" and the majority of the posters say "Get the dog to the vet now" that's not rude, that's direct.

The experience of people on this board ranges from the new puppy owners to those that have bred and those that have rescued, fostered and rehomed dozens of dogs.  I think we also have a veterinarian or two that frequents this board.  So take the advice or don't take it-but realize that a large majority of posters that you think are being rude, are being direct and speaking from experience.
 

 Everyone started somewhere. Even those whom you feel might be coming across as "experts" and acting as if they know everything will tell you if asked that they started out not knowing much and that they have made mistakes. 

 

I do think that certain people should never own dogs, but all of those are in a category of people who will never seek to learn, never seek to understand the animals that they own and in many cases they are abusive. 

 

Most people fall into an entirely different category of ownership. Some are just starting out and a few years from now may put many so called 'experts" to shame with their understanding and knowledge of dogs.

 

If I go back 30 years I can say that although I loved my dogs I was not much of a dog owner. I have learned a lot across the years. I have a brother who 25 years ago would have been considered a horrible dog owner, his dogs were in the back yard, they never came inside, no one ever played with them and he could dispose of them with no more thought than he did the daily garbage. Today he is the proud owner (or should I say he is owned by) no less than four small dogs, all of whom he treats as children, they sleep with him, they live in the house and he would be appalled at any suggestion of getting rid of them.

 

 People do grow, people do change and every single person on this forum has at some point in their life been less of a responsible dog owner than they are today. Take what is said with a grain of salt and know that even those who are coming across as offensive or know it alls, were beginners at some point and most likely even continue to make mistakes now.

 

 Hopefully you will stick with the forum, toss out the bad and hold on to the good. I have had disagreements with some but I cannot also say with honesty that I have received good and valuable knowledge from those same ones of whom I disagreed.

 

dgriego

 Everyone started somewhere. Even those whom you feel might be coming across as "experts" and acting as if they know everything will tell you if asked that they started out not knowing much and that they have made mistakes. 

 

Quite honestly I don't think some would say that, because they act as if they don't remember ever being in that uneducated position. It would be so much more pleasant around here if everyone did keep that in mind with every post. I haven't spent as much time here recently, but in the past there have been responses that make it positively embarrassing to be a part of this board.

Thank you for this thread jenn and hopefully your post will make some people think before they type.

jenn52

that only the perfect all knowing people on this board should raise dogs. No one else on this earth should be entitled. I have really gotten a lot of information from this board and I appreciate that. But some people are so incredibly rude and insensitive, that people around here should really think before they respond to peoples request for info. Not everyone has been raising dogs all their life or lives on a farm or doesnt work. There are first time dog owners who are just trying to do their best. I am sick of getting my feelings hurt on this board. It sucks because I really liked being able to ask questions without having to call the vet every 5 seconds but when people make you feel like crap, I don't know why I'm here. I'm not writing this to get sympathy, but maybe to make some of you look at yourselves and to think about the person behind the question before writing rude replies. Not everyone is a perfect dog owner and when you're getting different info from everyone you talk to, there are bound to be some mistakes. Sorry, but I had to get that off my chest.

 

I think a post like this is extremely unfair on you part.  The *vast* majority of posters on here have been very positive towards you.  This is a public message board with LOTS of different people and LOTS of different posting styles and LOTS of different opinions.  There are posters on here that probably would not agree with certain things I do with my dogs--feeding, training methods, etc, but I don't allow that to get in the way of my enjoyment of the board.  Sometimes I even learn something from those individuals.  That is this board's strength, not it's weakness.  I have been to a variety of dog boards, and it's because of the diverse community we have here that I keep coming back to this one. 

If you ask a question on a PUBLIC board, you are opening yourself up to the comments of others, some of which you may not like.  Sorry, but that is just something you are going to have to accept if you are going to post on any public board.  If we all only heard the anawers to our questions that we wanted to hear, how would we learn and progress?   

 

maybe she's talking about witnessing rudeness towards others as well and not just towards herself?

 

DumDog

maybe she's talking about witnessing rudeness towards others as well and not just towards herself?

 

 

"I am sick of getting my feelings hurt on this board. It sucks because I really liked being able to ask questions without having to call the vet every 5 seconds but when people make you feel like crap, I don't know why I'm here."

 

Sounds like she's talking about herself to me..... 

ah yes.. you're right!

still.... it annoyed me for the longest time (in other forums as well as here) to see people drawn and quartered for asking questions that had obvious answers.. got annoyed enough to finally just leave one forum...

Though instead of a law... there should be an Idiot's Guide to Public Forums... not an etiquette list... but a "Do's And Dont's" list to keep from getting your bum chewed! such as rather than asking your Q first you search for it... i've noticed that the thing that gets peoples goats the most is a redundant question.. And another... Too Much Information will get you killed.... AND if you know its going to be a controversial question... then think twice about how to word it before sending it out..

jenn52

But some people are so incredibly rude and insensitive, that people around here should really think before they respond to peoples request for info.

I've searched your posts, & honestly can't see any reason for you to be upset.  I did see on thread that you were offered very sound advice, but instead of taking the advice, you launched a personal attack on the poster.  If anyone's behavior could be viewed as rude, I would say that yours was very close.

jenn52

 Not everyone is a perfect dog owner and when you're getting different info from everyone you talk to, there are bound to be some mistakes.

I don't believe that anyone here believes that they are the "perfect dog owner."  If there was such a thing as a "perfect dog owner," I highly doubt that they would be worrying with a dog forum.  There is no need to mess with perfection.

I think what the OP is describing really does happen, although I'm not sure if its to the extent that the OP is saying. I've been pretty lucky on this forum, although I've seen other people get ripped to shreds. It's usually a new member, often their first post, who unwittingly reveals that *gasp* they know less about dog care than the majority of members on here. Often, they get flamed to bits and then chased away before they even come back for a second post! Not that it's common place, but I have seen it happen! It's not everyone, either. Usually most people are being polite and then one flamer comes along and ruins it for everyone. My pet peeve, however, is the unsolicited advice/not answering the question you actually asked in order to get on your case about something. For example: OP: What brand of dog kibble is best? Response: If you cared about your dog's health, you'd feed raw. All kibble is crap. Not that it offends me, it really just makes me roll my eyes. I mean, it's not helpful as it doesn't answer the OP's question.

Well a lot of people who have dogs should have never gotten one, that's for sure. I've rarely seen downright rudeness on this forum but I think everyone at some point experiences it. It happened to me here awhile ago and it did hurt my feelings too, but I went back and reread that person's posts and discovered that is just the way that person is, just like in real life, and I learned to take that person's comments with a grain of salt. But you've also got to remember that people here really really love dogs and only want to help others do what's best for them. There are people here who have to deal with the puppymill fallouts, who go to the auctions and witness the matted, mangy, blind and lame dogs that are producing the puppies in the pet stores, and there are people here who have to be the ones to comfort a bewildered 12 yr old dog that they've just accepted into their rescue because it no longer has good bladder control and peed on the dining room rug, and there are people here that have to be the ones to euthanize healthy loving unwanted animals because people refused to educate themselves before they got a dog, and people who have to tell that rottie mix that's been in the shelter for a month that maybe tomorrow their angel will come to take them out of that horrible place, and sob on the drive home, covered in dog kisses, because they know that it probably won't happen. There are people here who own dogs and then there are people here who have dedicated their lives to dogs. Those people are going to have an entirely different viewpoint and opinion from someone who just got their first pup.

sooner

sooner wrote the following post at 11-14-2007 10:19 AM:

dgriego

 Everyone started somewhere. Even those whom you feel might be coming across as "experts" and acting as if they know everything will tell you if asked that they started out not knowing much and that they have made mistakes. 

 

Quite honestly I don't think some would say that, because they act as if they don't remember ever being in that uneducated position. It would be so much more pleasant around here if everyone did keep that in mind with every post. I haven't spent as much time here recently, but in the past there have been responses that make it positively embarrassing to be a part of this board.

 I cannot argue with that. But at least you can remind people that they were not born with all knowledge.

I'm seeing some rudeness on both sides here.

Iggy, you hit the nail on the head I think.  Yes, my view of a good owner tends to be dramatically different than a first time puppy owners.  But,. my view comes from my life experiences and those include many of the unpleasant things that you mentioned.  I've fostered animals who were given up after many years, because their worst crime was that they got old and couldn't control their bladder, who lost their homes because they growled at the toddler for hitting them over the head with a wooden toy, for all sorts of reasons that make me want to cry.  We just placed an 8 year old gsd who's owners didn't want to deal with him getting older and maybe sick, so they dumped him before he could have any health problems.  He's a real love but those people were idiots and worse than that.  Enough, but that's where I come from when I post.

rolenta

IMy pet peeve, however, is the unsolicited advice/not answering the question you actually asked in order to get on your case about something. For example: OP: What brand of dog kibble is best? Response: If you cared about your dog's health, you'd feed raw. All kibble is crap.

I mean, it's not helpful as it doesn't answer the OP's question.

 Actually, that type of comment WOULD and has helped me.  I would never have researched raw if not for some of those types of posts.  I would never have researched home-cooked either.  I would have just blindly gone on feeding kibble.  Now, as in this example, I don't feed raw.  Why?  Because it doesn't work for me or my dogs.  However I really don't care if someone else feels strongly that feeding raw is the best.

 Only once did I get an unwelcome post.  And probably the poster didn't really mean it to sound the way it did to me.  It was how my tiny little 4 lb. Chi was "aggressive and going to get me sued".  But in retrospect, I am sure that poster meant well and may have even had a point.

I think people need to grow a thicker skin.  How can someone you don't even know hurt your feelings?  They are only stating their opinions. 

 granted .. i've seen my share of cruelty as well.... going three days with no sleep trying to convince two puppies the drink from a bottle only to have one of them die and had to rush the other to the vet... and then get the dirty looks as if I was the one that bred them!

and the person that did breed them was going to dump her three year old shepherd in the pound because someone gave her an eight week old puppy.... in order to keep it from happening i decided to go against my husbands better wishes and bring the big knuckle head home where he proceeded to torment my cats, and climb on all the cars!

Ben lived two years on a chain and then one year in a concrete floored kennel with a big plastic drum for a dog house before he came to live here.

Yes i've seen the ugliness.... but that doesnt give me the license to treat a new puppy owner like dirt in order to make a point.

The dogs i mentioned above didnt have owners that hung out in forums trying to educate themselves on dogs and training. They knew it all and didnt need to be here because they worked in vet clinics, pet stores, or volunteered at shelters(which i cant understand...working at a shelter and justify breeding untitled dogs)

 

also.. everyone is looking at her public posts.. but what about whats been going on in private messages? we've no real clue. true maybe she's being overly sensitive or misread someone... but the rudeness she speaks of is NOT a myth in this forum. it comes and goes, thankfully its more pleasant around here... but when it starts to get turbulent its unbearable!  

kelliope

rolenta

IMy pet peeve, however, is the unsolicited advice/not answering the question you actually asked in order to get on your case about something. For example: OP: What brand of dog kibble is best? Response: If you cared about your dog's health, you'd feed raw. All kibble is crap.

I mean, it's not helpful as it doesn't answer the OP's question.

 Actually, that type of comment WOULD and has helped me.  I would never have researched raw if not for some of those types of posts.  I would never have researched home-cooked either.  I would have just blindly gone on feeding kibble.  Now, as in this example, I don't feed raw.  Why?  Because it doesn't work for me or my dogs.  However I really don't care if someone else feels strongly that feeding raw is the best.

 

going out on a limb here but i think she meant the part about "IF you cared about your dog" as if you intentionally feeding them sewer sludge...