Questions About New TOS? Post Here.

There is still way too much grey area....
 
People read into someone's posts...whether it be presumed tone of writer, reader in bad mood,  whatever....
Don't read more into posts..this statement is to all.....too many posts have been taken wrongly because people assumed what the tone was...
Bluntness is not rudeness...take it all with a grain of salt...
Words becomes sentences and that is what they are no more no less ...unless someone is being vulgar or namecalling or outright nasty.

ORIGINAL: Firestorm

There is still way too much grey area....

 
I agree.  If people feel like they have to walk on eggshells lest someone takes offense at something, they just won't post.  Some of our most interesting - and heated - threads haven't involved dogs at all but things like religion, sexuality and politics. I'd hate to lose those threads and I'd hope that the "easily and constantly offended" among us would stay out of those threads (which would be in NDR) anyway and just stick with threads that are dog related. []
 
Joyce

ORIGINAL: fuzzy_dogs_mom

I agree.  If people feel like they have to walk on eggshells lest someone takes offense at something, they just won't post.  Some of our most interesting - and heated - threads haven't involved dogs at all but things like religion, sexuality and politics. I'd hate to lose those threads and I'd hope that the "easily and constantly offended" among us would stay out of those threads (which would be in NDR) anyway and just stick with threads that are dog related. []
 
Joyce

 
Interesting post and I wonder how NDR is going hold up when they start following TOS #5.  I am sure once my question about how the rules will be applied consistently across the forum, that those that most favor NDR will not be allowed to have those one on one or one on a few personal conversation. 

The thing is, some threads go on for pages and pages.  If you need to refer to something somebody said you pretty well have to address them or nobody is going to know what the devil you're talking about. Sometimes nobody knows anyway, but that's another story. [] I think NDR should have its very own TOS, completely separate from that of the rest of the forum. Have you noticed that whenever there's a "hot" thread in NDR, people rarely stray too far off topic?
 
Joyce

ORIGINAL: fuzzy_dogs_mom

...I think NDR should have its very own TOS, completely separate from that of the rest of the forum. Have you noticed that whenever there's a "hot" thread in NDR, people rarely stray too far off topic?
 
Joyce

 
Once again, very interesting post and possible a new thread in this category.  Of course I would asking the question as to whether NDR is needed in a dog forum and if we examine the past and some the subjects you mentioned, then you may see that was the source of all personality clashes and divisions.

if we examine the past and some the subjects you mentioned, then you may see that was the source of all personality clashes and divisions.

ALL??? Hmmmm... I think you will find that there are just as many "clashes and divisions" in the threads that actually DO relate to dogs as the ones that don't.  "All" seems like an inaccurate word in that statement DPU.

It might not be needed, but it's certainly wanted and well used.  Even the most hard core dog lovers have a life and interests other than dogs and NDR offers a venue for getting to know people a little better than you would in the other threads.  As for personality clashes and divisions, there have been plenty of those in nutrition and training.  And lookie here ... we've been chatting with each other for a couple of posts now.  We're going to get our fingers slapped and red inked and Lord knows what else.  []
 
Joyce

ORIGINAL: Firestorm
Bluntness is not rudeness...take it all with a grain of salt...

This thought came to me this afternoon and I wanted to share it woth those reading here. I hope it's not too off-topic.

The administration of a board picks people as moderators who they trust to judge the line between rudeness and simple bluntness (and to make a lot of other decisions). These people have a big responsibility to make that judgment. We, as members, either trust their judgment, or we spend all our time arguing with them. If a moderator judges my bluntness as rudeness and edits my post, I may disagree, but I'm not the one that's been entrusted to make that judgement. And as a courtesy of my free membership here, I will abide by their judgment, even if I disagree.

We each have a line where being "blunt" becomes being "rude". Mine line is in a different place than  yours and yours is in a different place than the next guy. There is no Universal line where we can all agree on one side is "blunt" and on the other side is "rude". So we have to trust SOMEONE to make that call for all of us. That "someone" in the discussion board world is the staff of the board.

It's clear to me that if someone has a problem with an edit, they are free and welcome to contact ANY member of staff to take a look at it and add THEIR personal judgment. Then, it's our job to accept the judgment. Or not. But the decision is made. This is their place and to be here and discuss dogs free of charge and share our opinions and learn lots of cool stuff about dogs, it's necessary that we go by the house rules, whatever they are.

I don't feel I have to walk on eggshells, but I don't mind being a little extra careful so as to not offend other people. As a member, I've been asked to make my communications thoughtful and without insulting other people. There's a difference between having a heated discussion and insulting other people. It's quite possible to be very frank and passionate and talk about politics, religion, anything without insulting other people.

There are boards out there where these subjects can be discussed with a great deal more heat and passion if that's what people want. PM me and I'll tell you right where to go for GREAT non-dog related discussions.  [sm=happy.gif]

Well, since you are a member of the "no red ink club", I'll bet the Admin and/or Mods will give you special consideration.  Since I am connected with this, then I believe it is a safe haven for me.

Good post Carla!
 
But I do think for the most part...you can be truthful...you can give your opinion and you don't have to be rude doing it. That is the difference.  
I also think pretty much that most everyone knows when they are crossing that line...they know when they are being rude... and most of the time they are hiding behind the word blunt. So yes...someone else has to decide where they crossed the line. Next time they will not be so "blunt!"  []

One can speak bluntly...with manners!
 
One does not need to sugar coat nor be nasty either.  So if you are to the point and or blunt but olite...no harm done.

One can speak bluntly...with manners!

Yes. But, speaking bluntly or extremely honestly to someone, laying it all on the table for someone is something I would do very carefully in person.  I'd make sure that person knew I really cared about them and was trying to be a friend in the way I was speaking. 

I wouldn't talk like that (even if I wanted to) to someone I didn't know very well or someone like a co-worker.  They might take it wrong. 

And, that's what's happening here.  Also, there are some who post rude comments with no regard for anyone and then claim they are blunt.   They are "blunt" and everyone else is "sensitive" that's how they justify what they are doing. 

To address the posts about the NDR section:

Whether NDR needs it's own TOS is certainly a worthwhile question, although I am inclined to say that might cause more trouble than it's worth. Still, if people feel strongly about it please start a new thread or get in touch with me, Danehaven and Personal Champ and it can be discussed.

I like all the other mods have to follow the new TOS, but I am a flexible kind of person. I for one would love to see more hot topic debates in NDR - it keeps life interesting and if everyone remembers that the most effective debates happen when you argue the idea, rather than attack the person, we should all be cool.

I am not the only mod in NDR so obviously there is a balance. However, it is one of the sections with the smallest need for any kind of "corrections" and if everyone continues to prove that NDR can appropriately be handled that way, it will continue to be so. Obviously any blatant TOS violations will be addressed, but from where I am standing it looks to be a section where I can follow my instinct to under-moderate.

Please, come over to NDR, if you haven't already. Debate, discuss, laugh, be silly. I will watch or join in as I always have.

And please, I'm a new mod here. If I make a mistake, let me know.

edited - never mind

And, that's what's happening here. Also, there are some who post rude comments with no regard for anyone and then claim they are blunt. They are "blunt" and everyone else is "sensitive" that's how they justify what they are doing.

I have been a member here for quite a while.  And honestly, this is not the norm.  I haven't seen a lot of rude behavior or bluntness that should seriously hurt someone's feeling?  Yeah it does happen here and there but it is far from the NORM and such a non issue IMO.

Why is everyone so hyped up on it and making such a big deal??  The mods are forced to be babysitters and censor all the posts because many of you are feeling attacked?  Who?  Why?  When? and Where? [8|]

I am sure this will be inked somewhere.......... [:@]  Why? Because I want to express my opinion honestly and it violates some kind of rule I am sure because it is not sugary sweet or off topic or something like that![:'(]