Good bye

ORIGINAL: badrap

ORIGINAL: ashland
those are her feelings. She said them on a place other than here.

well... not to be picky... but not exactly:

I won't close my account, but I'm not coming back for at least a couple months, possibly longer, possibly never. I'm disgusted with the latest round of rules, I'm disgusted with the toxic person who is playing games with the forum members and mods and who harassed me.

I've been a very friendly and productive member of this forum for years. I guess no good deed goes unpunished.

Sara - I agree with your position. I'm not saying that what she said was called for. The quoted post above though doesn't name anybody. She says that there is "toxic person" on this board. I have no idea who she is referring too. Many of you do seem to know who she is referring too. I don't. She didn't personally attack anyone on here in that post, imo. She didn't name that person.

And yes, a public forum is a public forum. I was just disappointed to see so many people become so rude.
 
Reading back, I think I really liked Gina's post, after she read the blog. You can tell she didn't appreciate the comments made about forum members, but didn't feel the need to get nasty. I know she's a mod, but still. . . .

Not replying to you specifically, Bad Rap, this just looked like a good place to park it.
 
While everyone's unloading their frustration and whatever on Jean let us remember something.
 
Not to long ago, a mod who was new to here thought it would be peachy keen to allow byb's and puppy mills to advertise here. Another mod, properly disgusted, immediately set up a new forum for those who also felt offended.
 
The "offense" of Jeano's linked blog site pales in comparison. And, evidently, it was okay until this week. All of a sudden, it needed to be dealt with. Why is that? And those that have something against her have not been here nearly as long. So, all the "dues" she has paid mean nothing. How come Glenda doesn't get in trouble for posting her MS Walk Link? And no, I don't think she should be banned from doing so and if someone were to suggest that she couldn't post about it, I would strive to meet that person, face to face, literally, and challenge them. And that is not a good thing.
 
For those of you who think you are christian, remember this;
 
"Before you cast out the splinter in someone else's eye, first cast out the beam that is in your own eye."
 
"He who is without sin may cast the first stone."

I AM a friend of Jean's.  She is a very warm, caring & sensitive lady.  I believe his all started by a simple question that she felt she wasn't getting a straight answer to.  It was important to her to find the answer.  She felt like she was getting the run around.  You & I know how easily things can get blown WAY out of proportions on the Internet.  I think, bottom line, people tend to forget that there are living, breathing humans behind the monitors.  People with feelings.
I will miss her input & her stories about Olie & Sofie.

ORIGINAL: gradyupmybutt
I believe his all started by a simple question that she felt she wasn't getting a straight answer to.  It was important to her to find the answer.  She felt like she was getting the run around. 

  
 
If that is the case, would you describe her response as a bit of an over reaction?  Perhaps the member she was questioning was just trying to find a nice way to tell her it is none of her business?

I feel confident Jean will be back after some of this has cooled down.  Based on her blog, it seems we're not the only ones adding to her headaches.  Like everyone else, sometimes I have nearly blown a gasket in reaction to some posts online.  That's the way it is, and sometimes there are consequences to revealing just how angry I am, and I know it.  Sometimes those consequences clear out the general bad atmosphere (after some initial squabble and debate, of course).  There's anger and hurt on both sides of this equation, so throwing blame and pointing fingers at who is more "wrong" seems worthless to me.  Let it go in peace, imo.

ORIGINAL: ron2

How come Glenda doesn't get in trouble for posting her MS Walk Link? And no, I don't think she should be banned from doing so and if someone were to suggest that she couldn't post about it, I would strive to meet that person, face to face, literally, and challenge them. And that is not a good thing.

Actually, I have wanted to suggest just that several times. I don#%92t come here to be solicited for anything and particularly not as persistently as that. If you have a problem with that come on up and meet me - you#%92re not that far away. As worthy of a cause as MS is, and it IS worthy, a reminder to donate to your local organization (of whatever cause) would suffice.

all this bashing is ridiculous. I'm glad she posted a good bye thread...i would've wondered where she went!
 
hope you come back, jeano...until then-best wishes

for the blog.. (i hate that word) remember how i say there is no such thing as bad advertising? i wasnt even aware of what was in it, didnt really care to look.... but i saw it mentioned a few times then.... cyclefiend's comment about pesky trolls.... i was confused.... especially when others started mentioning other such weird unrelated things... obviously the blog was what sparked those comments so i looked, as i'm sure many did.... i'm not really surprised or shocked either.. nor am i disappointed.
maybe if certain people HADNT made those comments about blog content the tone of the thread wouldnt be so moody.... i didnt see her say anywhere in the OP "By the way if you want my REAL opinion look in here" .. it was more to the effect of "if you're interested in keeping in touch then go here"....
if she was upset then she is entitled to share her emotions in her own personal blog. she didnt name names, she didnt say what forum it was and the fact that it was so obvious WHAT forum is a bit sad because that's how bad the problem was. i knew exactly what and who she was talking about.

my only real complaint is.... its the internet. these people arent your family, they dont live next door and you dont go to work with them. in short... you're not forced to be together. you should not let them dictate emotions to you. if someone lies online... big stinkin deal. the internet is the biggest collection liars in history. you can say you're a 5'4" double D cup red head in stiletto's but in reality you might be a 4'9" chubby pigeon toed balled headed Danny Devito looking guy. Your lies havent hurt anyone.. at least they shouldnt have..... its your reality.... just be prepared for when the truth finally does come out! but ultimately... its the internet.... you can do or say and be what ever you want and no one can dispute that. And you shouldnt be upset over lies on the internet.... THAT'S being naive and overly sensitive....
telling lies is not nice nor is it healthy, but thats not our job to raise full grown adults that know better but insist on acting childish....

The internet is a wonderfully nasty place isn't it? And I am amazed at the number of people that take what is written here to heart. I am confused as to why people who are so kind and loving, or excuse me say they are, can be so down right nasty to another human being. You would not treat or talk to your dog that way, what excuses you to do it to a human? Pretty is as pretty does.

And the need to stike back when hurt is not just an animal trait, if you stike out don't be surprised if you get bit.

I personally did not find links to blogs offensive, if I want to read it fine, if I don't fine. But if links are to be removed then there should be no links/solicitation for ANYTHING allowed, end of story. No links to blogs, web pages, breeder pages, walkathons, help my friend win the cutest dog contest, sign my/this/that petition, ect.

As for cliques, well yes I do see it in some threads, but if you want the low down dirty truth, everyone who comes here and posts is part of a clique. A clique of people who love their animals. I am part of the i-dog clique!

I joined this forum to have a place to go to share with people who like me, love their dogs to pieces. I have no family where I live, I have no children, my neighbors have no pets, I needed to share, share idea's, sob stories, concerns, brags and just general stuff with like minded people. I did not, nor do I think anyone else for that matter, signed up for criticism or nasty remarks about the way I live my life or what kind of food I feed my dog or what training method I use.

This forum of late IMO has been heavy on the criticism and light on the love people, and that is something to be ashamed of.


Dawn

edit: spelling errors, again!

my only real complaint is.... its the internet. these people arent your family, they dont live next door and you dont go to work with them. in short... you're not forced to be together.

Exactly.  And along those lines, b/c it's the Internet, it's more difficult to know when something you (in the general sense) may have offended someone or hurt their feelings.  If it's a friend or family member in real life, you can tell just by their expression or how they respond.  They don't need to verbalize back to you that they are upset.  The only feedback we get here is what others decide to give us.  I think that creates a tendency for things to stew and eventually boil over.  I know I've been guilty of this as well and I try to let someone know if I'm upset, usually via PM or else in the thread if it's relevant.  I don't like all the snarkiness lately and the threads that have been started just to point out things we don't like about each other or their posting styles.  Why not just PM those people and deal with it in private?  Most times, there's just a stupid misunderstanding and it turns out to be a non-issue.  I know I'm very new here, but the one issue I have with this board is that I see people responding in sometimes mean ways towards other people usually based on their style of posting rather than the actual content of what they are saying.  If there are communication issues or if you really have a problem with the way someone posts or what is in their sig or their avatar, lets work theses things out right away and not sit and stew on it until it blows up into a huge misunderstanding that hurts some people and leaves others laughing and yet others totally confused and scratching their heads.

[&:]

I personally did not find links to blogs offensive, if I want to read it fine, if I don't fine. But if links are to be removed then there should be no links/solicitation for ANYTHING allowed, end of story. No links to blogs, web pages, breeder pages, walkathons, help my friend win the cutest dog contest, sign my/this/that petition, ect. 

That's actually the way the rule is now Truely...I think it causes the least friction personally. No one NEEDS a link in their sig...no one here can convince me of that. Mine's been gone awhile...I don't have a problem with it. No links IN SIG'S ...in your profile, knock yourself out or in a post, one time...etc.
 
I've solicited for votes for a contest...I think other's have too, probably againstt he rules as they are now...but it wasn't then. Now would I solicit to get funds for care my own private animals that I've chosen to live with me? Nope. I guess the fact that we all have different filters and many times...different ones for different people...lol, then I agree...none at all is easier than sifting thru this that and the other.
 
I do, still think the Member Business section is a good idea and I will continue to push for that. We have many members that are talented in many areas, and I think those of us without said talents (lol) would LOVE to be able to order something from them instead of some random site..no? So I'm still going to work on that []

Disclaimer....I AM a friend of Jeans....so take my comments with a grain of salt.  Knowing Jean, what I saw in her blog was pain and frustration.  And what I've seen in some of the posts in this thread was just plain nasty.  I'd say you should be ashamed of yourselves, but those that should would likely get even uglier.
 
I am very sorry to see Jean.  I know exactly who and what she is talking about and it's a shame that it's not been stopped.  I sincerely hope that this will just be a break and she'll come back.  But, I also hope the ugliness can pass someday as well.

yeah i agree with you whole heartedly.... my other gripe with this forum is there are certain people that put words into my mouth. if i didnt say it then DONT come back and reply with "OH, so what you're saying is ALL puppies and kitties should be skinned alive and fed to aligators"..... NO. if i had thought it then i would have said it.  contrary to what some may think.... i am a literal speaker/thinker.... i dont really spend much time thinking about things when i write... i dont try to think up clever ways to disguies my real opinion.... i CAN do that, and i HAVE done that... but i am really just too lazy to bother with metaphors or round about ways....beating around the bush is not my favourite game to play. and if you to really make me mad... then put words into my mouth.... and thats only been a recent pet peeve because of my husband's ex wife and her new stooge of a husband. any time you said something his comment was always to put words in your mouth and twist what you said into something idiotic and cruel..... before that i couldnt care less.... it took a while to figure out that he was just trying to bate me or my husband into a fight to make us look bad in front of his daughter.... these days i like to think i handle people like that better, but on this forum i see that kind of behaviour and i am instantly snatched back into those stressful days of being taunted and manipulated by a couple of REALLY hateful people..... but i have to remember that maybe i am just taking it the wrong way, and i have to step back and chill..... other wise i would be typing my own good bye thread... which i have been tempted to do SEVERAL times here.

Funny, it seems that most of the people bashing Jean for her goodbye thread are people who have not been here long enough to understand her value to the forum.  Some of you have been less than admirably Christian in your treatment of her, despite defending the faith so vehemently on the religion threads.  Others criticize the blog, but unless you are a member here, you have no idea what forum she is referring to on that blog, nor does she mention anyone by name - again, a credit to her downright upright attitude.  Whatever the cause, behind the scenes harrassment is not appropriate behavior.  Nor is it quite cricket to be PM'ing the mods every five minutes to tattle on other members.  I must say that I rarely had any correspondence, or red ink, from the mods before the current crop of what Jean refers to as "trolls" arrived.  Sure, people had heated arguments, but they were about choke chains or dog food, not about attacking the individual.  It was more idealogical, not so personal.  So, yet again, we lose a really wonderful contributor, who had information to share.  Some of you should really spend more time learning about dogs.  Perhaps there would be less time to spend following people around the board to trap them, or whatever the heck you're doing instead of participating in legitimate discussion.

In my opinion, you guys can discuss and discuss and discuss, but to no avail.  If my memory serves me and many times it does fail, I have never had contact or dialogue with Jeano.  But I have read and like her postings.  If I am following things, then there are 5 people involved in this, including Jeano, and they are the ones that should be talking and working things out.  They just might all agree and go their separate ways with no hard feelings.  To all others, IMO you are not involved.
 
And Spiritdogs, I wish you would change your delivery and leave out the negatives and the judging of respected fellow members as 'trolls'.  We are all contributors in our own way.