"Children should sleep with parents until they are five"

I always preferred my kids (babies) to sleep in their own beds from day one. DH and I are both move around a lot while we sleep and by the 4th or 5th week into 'new baby sleep deprivation'  I worried having a new born in the same bed. I also figured it would be a very hard habit for the child to break, so why start it. As for 5 years - no way, no how.  If you had 2 or 3 kids you could be looking at a decade. I don't see how that would be healthy for a marriage. Maybe it's just me, but I love my bed. It is my oasis. I allow DH to share, but that's it - not even the dog!

This hits close to home for me.  Our first born grandson died of SIDS at a week old.  He was in bed with our son & dil at the time.

No WAY are babies sleeping with DH and I.  DH has epilepsy which manifests itself as some weird sleep patterns where he will either have a seizure in bed, or have an anxiety attack thinking he's having a seizure (like he falls asleep with his arm under his pillow and it falls asleep, he thinks he's having a seizure and panics b/c his seizures always start in his right hand).  When he has these attacks he gets very combative.  I am used to it and know how to settle him down, but I'd be a complete idiot to let an infant sleep next to someone like that.  A baby would probably be safer sleeping in a crate with my German Shepherd (that's a joke).

Also I'm a pretty hard sleeper.  I thought SIDS is basically the baby's airway being blocked and the baby not having the correct reflex to wake up and fix it?  If so then honestly I'm not sure how I would somehow just *know* the baby is dying if I'm sleeping hard and the baby is not struggling.

 Sue, I am so sorry about your grandson. (((((HUGS)))))

denise m

 Sue, I am so sorry about your grandson. (((((HUGS)))))

Ditto and {{{HUGS}}} from me, too.  As for SIDS, I don't think they've actually come with an exact cause or a definite way to prevent it.  So far it just seems to be one of those things that just happen. They have been saying for the last few years that babies should sleep on their backs or sides rather than their stomachs where generations of babies have slept, but who knows? My kids didn't sleep with us when they were babies, but if they wound up there in the middle of the night for some reason it was easier to just let them stay.

Joyce

 Correlation doesn't equal causation...

griffinej5

 Correlation doesn't equal causation...

True.  I think when something like this happens it's too easy for parents to start second guessing themselves and start playing the "why did I do _____" or "if only I hadn't ____" game and blame themselves simply because there really aren't any definitive answers.

Joyce

Willa slept in her own crib, in her room, from day one. Rupert sleeps with us, we have a lot of pillows and blankets, and a soft bed. No place for a baby.

And sorry, after all the poision and crap China's been putting in our products, I'm not taking any advice from that country.

My son slept in bed with his dad and I until my daughter was born when he was almost 3. Two kids in bed with us would not have worked, no way was I having an infant sleeping with a toddler, so I phased my son into his own room and my daughter slept in her own crib in my sons room from day 1. I must say I would never co-sleep again. At the time with my son I liked it, it was easy for breastfeeding, but I got so much better quality of sleep with them in their own room it was unreal. My energy level went up, and my daughter in her own crib slept through the night months earlier than my son in our bed.

Oh, and on the article, they seem to keep equating the baby sleeping in its own room to the practice of letting the child "cry it out"...I never let my daughter cry just because she was in her own room, I would still go in there and breastfeed, check her diaper, whatever...seems like the study is flawed because there are more variables in the mix than just "with parents" vs "own bed"...did everyone in the study feed on demand, or schedule feedings? Did they let their babies cry at night or go in to comfort? These differences could all have an effect imo.

janobonano

And sorry, after all the poision and crap China's been putting in our products, I'm not taking any advice from that country.

Amen to that!!  I refused to let Madison sleep in my bed.  I don't judge anyone that does but I just worried that I would start a very bad habit When and if she comes into my room at night, I escort her right back to her bed and tuck her back in.  Also, Dh has actually punched me in my back in his sleep before.  Madison would be in great danger!!.

Devin slept in a Pack N Play in our room for about 5 months then moved to her own crib.  As much as I love snuggling with her, I really didn't want to start that habit, and there were many times in the beginning when she was waking up a lot that it was hard not to.  I am so glad though now that I didn't start it.  I go to a breastfeeding forum where there are a lot of co-sleeping moms and I see so many more posts from them who are having sleep problems that due to the nature of them, to me seem directly related.  We have our fair share as well but at least she is used to sleeping in her own bed without me there to comfort her and I am able to have a few hours to myself at night to take care of things around the house.  I think we both get a better night sleep in our own beds.  And it is better for my marriage as well!  My brother and I slept with my mom for WAY too long in my opinion and I do not want to repeat that pattern. 

well said Jan.

Mine were in a bassinet at our bedside...brought into bed for bf'ing and then put BACK in their bassinet. Crib came later on..but neither slept in our room past 4-6mos.

Mine to this DAY sleep all night, in their own beds...they holler for us if something comes up, and we go see what they need...and that happens once in a blue moon...usually when a cat is locked in there with them LMBO.

My kids are great sleepers, comfortable in their own space and beds...evidenced by their being chipper in the morning and doing well thruout the schoolday.

SIDS is a horrible, horrible thing....but there is no one answer to prevent it...unfortunately. I managed to make it to 34, and my Mom GASP! put me on my FACE to sleep.

 There are way too many cultural differences between here and Asian countries to attribute the low rate of SIDS deaths to sleeping habits alone.  What about diet?  Do Asian homes have big fluffy, pillowtop mattresses with 3 pound down comforters and satin sheets?  How about exercise?  If I'm not mistaken, Asia also has a lower cancer rate.  What's the reason for that? 

She speaks of the brain activity caused by SA being the same as that caused by pain.  Of course they are both stressful, but I fully believe that a 6 month old baby that can learn to sleep on his/her own in 3 nights, is better off than the same child trying to figure it out at 5 years old.  The 5 year old is set in their ways and it will take longer than 3 nights.  Guaranteed!  So what is the advantage?  The 5 year old can tell you he doesn't want to sleep in his bed?  Oh, gee, that's good.  They're still not gonna understand why now after all their lives, they are getting the boot.

Ok so co-sleeping works for some people, but it doesn't save babies from Crib Death.  I know of 4 babies that have died of SIDS, with the 4th being today on this thread(Sue, I am very sorry for your loss), and 3 of them were in bed with their parents.   The 4th was in his car seat on his way to a camping trip.

Riley slept with us for a couple months when she was having a hard time staying asleep at night and frankly I was so exhausted from working I was too tired to stay awake while nursing...it was horrible.  She and I are both "spread eagle" sleepers and there isn't enough room for both of us in the same bed with Todd and Charlie.  I finally came to my breaking point and put her back in her own and room (she was sleeping with us only from months 8 - 11).  It was like being let out of jail.  Ever since she has always slept through the night, no problem.

I did a ton of research on SIDS and the direction NOW is to put babies on their back with nothing in the crib at all.  Part of the idea is to prevent the baby from getting so deep into the sleep they "forget to breath" or they are too young/weak to struggle to life their heads if they can't breathe face down.  When I was little you could only put the baby face down because if you put them on their back they could choke to death.

Riley WOULD NOT sleep on her back, she refused.  Per my doc, she was a heathly, strong, full term baby that always had good neck control so...he never said it was OK to put her on her back, but he didn't argue with my logic either.

I also agree, China poisoned their babies' milk on purpose, sorry but not taking advice them them.