Just Trying to Hold it Together

    • Gold Top Dog

    Just Trying to Hold it Together

    Have you ever had that feeling that everything that can go wrong has? 

    This morning, the hospital where my grandfather is recovering from colon cancer surgery calls & tells me that I need to get there ASAP there is a problem.  I am three hours away from them, so I throw kids in the jeep & we take off.  Fifteen minutes later I get another phone call telling me that he's dead.  No explanation, no nothing other than "We did all we could but he passed away."  He was supposed to be released from the hospital today because he was doing so well.  When I got  to the hospital, noone would speak to me.  I had the medical power of attorney, so I was the person who they were supposed to speak to, yet they refused to tell me anything.  It took three phone calls from my attorney before I was told that he went into cardiac arrest.  Nothing else, just cardiac arrest.  I am still in shock.  I talked to him last night, & he was so happy to be going home.

    Because my day wasn't going well enough, I found out, this afternoon, that a very close family friend died today as well.  He was in a freak accident, & died.  He was only 23.

    I feel like I am struggling to hold it together.  My family lost a very close family friend, & my best friend in April, & now this.  If you have any spare good thoughts, my family would really appreciate it.

    • Gold Top Dog

    I have some extra good thoughts, I'll send some your way. I'm very sorry for your losses.

    And yes, I've been having those feelings lately too. 

    • Gold Top Dog
    Sometimes you just need to take a few days and let yourself break down and come to terms with things. I'm a huge believer in "taking a break" from other things: work, school, whatever, when things get really overwhelming like this. It gives you a chance to cry, get angry, think and put things in to perspective.

    I'm not saying that you quit your job or anything like that, but it is important to not avoid a minor meltdown so that you can begin to heal.

    I'm very sorry that you are going through this tough time and sorry about your grandpa.

    • Gold Top Dog

    Oh, Amanda, you have every spare good thought I can muster.  I'm so sorry for all you're going through & am sending you srong vibes to hang in there.  ((warm hugs))

    • Gold Top Dog

    I'm so very sorry! I'm sending you all my good vibes to you and your family. Hang in there.

    • Gold Top Dog

    Amanda - I am so sorry.  You have every good thought that I have!  {{{{HUGS}}}}}

    • Moderators
    • Gold Top Dog

    Amanda, I'm so, so sorry for your lost, first of all.  Secondly, for the lack of answers for what happened and why.  I hope you get the answers you need, but in the meantime, we're sending you extra hugs and strength to get you through this very difficult time.  Think of the network of family and friends who love you and want to support you during this time and let them help you.  You've always been there for others, let them be there for you. 

    • Gold Top Dog

    What a sucky day. I can relate.

    I'm sorry for your losses.

    • Gold Top Dog

    Amanda, Im so sorry about your grandfather.  That's like having the rug pulled out from under you.  So strange the hospital was so reluctant to talk to you without legal pressure.  It just makes me furious that rather than help you cope, they caused you more stress and upset.

    Losing a close friend the same day, I just can't imagine how you must be feeling.  My strongest good thoughts and prayers for you and your family.  {{Hugs}}

    • Gold Top Dog

    Amanda, I am so very sorry for your loss.  ((((Hugs))))

    • Gold Top Dog

     Amanda, I am so sorry.  I wish we could be there to give you real hugs, but please know you're getting good thoughts by the tons (((((hugs)))))

    • Moderators
    • Gold Top Dog

     Oh Amanda I am so very sorry.  I had a similar sort of string of events at one time in my life and I will tell you that it takes a long time to fully heal emotionally.  So make sure you allow yourself to feel however you feel.  In the meantime though you have many positive things in your life DH, the boys and your amazing pack.  They will all help you heal.

    As for your Grandad - I believe they have to allow you access to his charts to see if any meds were administered or if there was any contact prior to the cardiac arrest.  Unfortunately with the elderly (not sure how old he was) surgery is extremely traumatic and can take its toll even after the patient seems out of the woods.  Whatever happened I am sorry for your loss.  

    You have my strongest sympathies and B sends his special obsessional kisses to you.  Hang in there and let me know if you need to talk or something

    Karen

    • Gold Top Dog

    Sending my warmest, fuzziest cyber hugs your way Amanda.

    Deb W.

    • Gold Top Dog

    Oh Amanda -- you and your family will be in my thots today and those to come.  Take a deep breath -- your instincts are good and one foot at a time will get you thru, and the rest of your head and heart will follow as they can.  *hugs*

    • Gold Top Dog

    Oh, Amanda, I'm so sorry!!  My best friend's father passed away from colon cancer last week.  I was hoping for a better outcome for your grandfather.

    Big, huge hugs from me, and consoling kisses from Harry & Sammy.