Being Honest about Being Obese

Some more advice from Covert Bailey. You can tell if your aerobic exercise is, indeed, aerobic by speaking. If you can speak a phrase or a couple of words while walking, then you are in the aerobic zone. If you can't or are out of breath, slow down. He once had a patient who couldn't do more than sit down and move her legs and arms without going in to dangerous heart rates. So, he started her on just that. A year later, she was running. But it took a year. So, yes, go slow and only do what you can do without hurting. As time goes by, the muscles grow back stronger and you will increase in endurance. And, by not injuring yourself, you will not lose conditioning time to recovery.

IrishSetterGrl

I have looked up what an eating disorder technically is considered, and it is true that it does not rule out overeating as an eating disorder. However, does a person who chooses not to eat as much food as most people simply because they don't require as much have an eating disorder? No. Similarly, a person who eats more food than others simply because they want to does not have an eating disorder.

Now, if an individual was purposefully eating great amounts of food in order to become obese, that is an eating disorder. Simply allowing onesself to eat whatever they prefer, whenever, does not constitute an ED. If it was, a lot more people would have them!

 

Irish look up Binge Eating Disorder. 

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Defining characteristics of Binge Eating Disorder:

Binge eating disorder is a relatively recently recognized disorder (it is sometimes referred to as compulsive overeating). Some researchers believe it is the most common of the eating disorders affecting millions of Americans. Similar to bulimia nervosa, those with binge eating disorder frequently consume large amounts of food while feeling a lack of control over their eating. However, this disorder is different from bulimia nervosa because people with binge eating disorder usually do not purge (i.e. vomiting, laxatives, excessive exercise, etc) their bodies of the excess food they consume during a binge episode.

Diagnostic Criteria: DSM-IV

A. Recurrent episodes of binge eating. An episode is characterized by:

1. Eating a larger amount of food than normal during a short period of time (within any two hour period)

2. Lack of control over eating during the binge episode (i.e. the feeling that one cannot stop eating).

B. Binge eating episodes are associated with three or more of the following:

1. Eating until feeling uncomfortably full

2. Eating large amounts of food when not physically hungry

3. Eating much more rapidly than normal

4. Eating alone because you are embarrassed by how much you're eating

5. Feeling disgusted, depressed, or guilty after overeating

C. Marked distress regarding binge eating is present

D. Binge eating occurs, on average, at least 2 days a week for six months

E. The binge eating is not associated with the regular use of inappropriate compensatory behavior (i.e. purging, excessive exercise, etc.) and does not occur exclusively during the course of bulimia nervosa or anorexia nervosa.

It's a fairly common disorder and not too long ago added to the DSM.  A lot of people do have this disorder.  Put it to you this way, all day I have obsessed about binge eating.  I had a rough day at work.  My obsessive thoughts about food actually TOOK away from my work.  I couldn't get eating out of my brain.  I needed MY choice of a fix.  Driving home I found myself stopping off at an exit with McD's right there.  I did something I haven't been able to do in a year, I did not go through the drive through.  I stayed in the parking lot and I cried.  Cried because I wanted to just eat to feel a momentary sense of numbness overeating provides me.  Cried because I felt weak and out of control.  I came home a miserable female dog, and thankfully we had no food in the house and the SO was home so I did something I rarely do with him and talked about my food thoughts.

My binge foods of choice are very specific, when I want to binge I want HIGH in fat.  I go for fast food bugers, fries and soda.  A typically binge for me looks like this:  I eat alone in my car a large double quarter pouder with cheese value meal, 2 apple pies, 4 piece chicken nuggets, large diet soda and ad addtional large fries. I go home and DON'T tell my SO, my binges are private.  We then eat dinner, of which I typically consume 2 portions.  If I'm lucky, I feel too sick by then to eat anymore.  If I'm not, I'll find something in the house to snack on to keep feeling numb and/or physically sick, b/c it keeps me from thinking and feeling my emotions clearly.  I binge to such an extent I am using money that I need for things like bills, for food.  After a binge, I feel 200X worse, physically and emotionally.  I had to ask the SO to pay the electric last month.  No, I have not told him why, just that I need to work on controlling my spending.  Funny, I know he knows where my money goes and we will have a talk soon about it.  Part of my issues of why I binge is I a hard time talking about my issues, not just with the SO...there's a lot of history with that, that the SO is actually fully aware of and he knows when to push me and when to wait for me to talk of my own volition.  Being candid here is one thing, I see only words, there are no eyes looking at me right now which helps.  Then again, talking here helps me also talk to my SO as well.  He's a patient, loving, and kind man to say the least.

I'm still thinking about binging now, but writing helps put it into perspective, as I know deep down I have other tools at my disposal, rather than food.  Actually saying I'm thinking about food is putting it mildly, I'm twitchy, restless and feeling just not right. 

I've been in counseling for this, along with my anxiety/depression - which commonly goes along with the disorder (and many other eating disorders of course).  I "controlled" my weight to a certain extent by periodic crash diets.

On other notes - thanks everyone for your support!  I will be taking the SO up with the excercise offer, as I know it's my own silliness that makes me embaressed, and not him in the slightest.

I wouldn't mind having my muscles back, in fact I'm COUNTING on it!  When I was 145, I was developing some nice toned legs, and my legs always pack on muscles easier.  I like my curves, but only when I'm not carrying this excess baggage :) 

I do do one change at a time :)  I made the mistake early on of trying to change EVERYTHING all at once, ooof BIG mistake.  Right now it's upping my veggie intake, in lieu of the fatty meats.  I will, perversely enough, LET myself binge on veggies and fruit if I truly cannot stop thinking about binging.  It's a compromise I found that worked for me in the past, when first working on controlling the eating.  Once I'm back under control, my need to binge will decrease.  But, it will take a me a long while yet to get to that point.  First, I up the veggies and start monitoring portions.  I journal everything I write, because it puts a sense of control in me that I need to feel comforted.  Once I have my bike I'll start incorporating that into my "excercise" routine.  I hate the word excercise, sounds too much like work :)  That's why I really only do activities I like, and don't focus on pushing myself, just getting out there and having fun - like walking in the woods with Ari, swimming, and soon getting on a bike and escaping the world on two wheels and my pedals.

I forget who asked and mentioned they eat when they get shakey, but if your more of a "grazer" type, try healthy minimeals.  I am NOT a breakfast person.  I simply cannot eat first thing in the morning, but at work I will have a yogurt, or a piece of fruit around 10am.  I eat again, usually soup or salad with some chicken on it a couple hours later, and then a couple hours later another light meal.  Dinner is my preferred "big meal".  Try to NOT let yourself get shakey, your liable to eat too much if you do.  Incorporate some whole grains, as they take longer to break down and make you feel fuller.  Switch up some fruits for other sugars like candy and the like, if you can as well.

Not to attack you or anything, but I think you have an extremely narrow view of what an eating disorder is. It is more than just anorexia or binging and purging. There is a difference between eating because you want to and being an obsessive eater. compulsive eating is a disorder just like anorexia.

Let me try to explain it:

IrishSetterGrl

...it's a VERY serious and life-altering condition.

Exactly.  obsessive compulsive eating is a VERY serious and life-altering condition. Diabetes, heart disease, etc. There are many illnesses that come from over eating. It affects your entire life. You are discriminated against, people treat you differently at work, when shopping, etc. You have low self esteem and are most likely severely depressed. Food controls a person who is an obsessive eater.

in reality, no one who truly has an ED wants to admit they have an eating disorder. And I do think that there is a huge difference between excessively eating unhealthy foods at any time vs. a person refusing to eat for three days (as I, at one point, did).

There is a difference between just eating unhealthy and over eating (excessively). It all comes down to control.  As an anorexic did you feel like you had control over food or did food have control over you? I bet it was a bit of both, eh? I bet that you thought about food nearly 90% of every waking hour. It is the exact same for an obsessive eater.

 it is no surprise to me that as an anorexic, you have a skewed view on fat and obese people and can not wrap your brain around the fact that it is just as much of a disease and a life altering condition as yours. I doubt you will ever under stand it. But, just because you do not understand something, does not mean that it is not real.

 Ron, your advice about talking when doing aerobics made me laugh, because I do do that.  I talk to Ari (I tend to walk just me and her) and I honestly had no idea someone else was behind us in ear shot one day!  Thankfully they were dog people and totally understood :)  Bonus, they were also women walking together to get back into shape so they totally sympathized when I was telling Ari (somewhat out of breath) that she needed to slow down cause my fat behind couldn't keep up :)

Obesity is a medical disorder, with psychologic components plain and simple. There is lots of research in the area and we are learning more and more every year. Plain and simple if you take in more then you burn then you gain. The key is that some people feel more "hungry" then others and are unable to control how much they take in. Metabolism plays a minor role, although I have obese patients tell me they "only eat saltines" all the time, this just isn't true. For someone who is obese, it is just WAY more difficult to maintain a healthy weight then it is for someone who is thin. Much of this is due to differences in hormones and neurotransmitters in the satiety/hunger cascade. Exercise is a key element in any weight loss plan. Not only does it help you burn more calories, but exercising 3-4 times a week and weight lifting has been shown to decrease osteoporosis as well as heart attack rates. The key for an obese person to really be sucessful is to change what they eat first, then start decreasing portions. High carb, low fat diets are no better for you then high fat diets are. Balanced nutrition is a lot harder then it sounds and diet fads are always useless. I'm a big advocate for obesity surgery for those that meet criteria, because studies have shown huge increases in mortality when you reach BMI's of that level as well as dismal success rates for diets/exercise.

IrishSetterGrl

Now, if an individual was purposefully eating great amounts of food in order to become obese, that is an eating disorder. Simply allowing onesself to eat whatever they prefer, whenever, does not constitute an ED. If it was, a lot more people would have them!

 

I believe the OP used the word "control" which is a major, major, major factor in ANY ED.  Being skinny/fat is pretty much incidental.

You could say the opposite of what you said "simply not allowing onesself to eat whatever they prefer, whenever, does not constitute and ED." I don't know or care whether which or each statement is true/untrue because neither addressing what an ED really is.

I don't know as much about the medical/nutritional aspect as Kelly, obviously, but I was a competitive gymnast (and obsessed with the sport) for some time so unfortunately I've ended up with a lot more experience with EDs than good nutrition.

 Just adding my support, and a huge "YOU CAN DO IT!!!"

Liesje

I believe the OP used the word "control" which is a major, major, major factor in ANY ED.

I absolutely agree.  Several years ago, a very close friend of mine was struggling with bulemia.  She refused to seek counseling, as she had been down that road for some family issues as a teen, so I encouraged her to at least speak with a nutritionist.  She agreed, and the nutritionist put her on the Weight Watchers plan.  The simple act of deciding every day what she was going to eat, planning it out, writing it down, gave her the control she was seeking, but in a healthy way.  I cannot express how much this helped her to deal with her ED. 

So, I definitely think joining Weight Watchers is a great option.  You'll get the support from people at the meetings, and get control over your diet so that you are eating in a healthy way. 

And, of course, you'll get tons of support here, too!!  Like others here, I struggled with weight a couple years ago, ended up losing 55 lbs and have kept it off for two years.  So, you are not alone, and we are all here to help you.  I wish you the best of luck.  It's hard, but you can do it!!!

Just wanted to offer my support and my admiration to you for being honest.  You have helped people more than you know.  :)

 

 

 

The support here is overwhelming...thank you so much.  It means the world to me.

Weight Watchers was a huge help for me.  Like your friendly, writing down what I eat, and how much, DOES give me a sense of control, I otherwise feel I don't have.  I won't go to meetings again, but journalling helps tremendously.  I might have had just a bad meeting group, but the people there when I used to go were super uptight about things.  I got a 10 minute lecture once from a member (not the meeting leader) about how I should only drink skim (I drink 1 %), never use real butter for anything and eat only Fat free products.  YUCK.  I prefer lesser amounts of the real stuff for most things!  Plus, it was also an older crowd, so I felt out of place as a 20-something year old.  That said I simply cannot afford meetings right now.  I'm setting aside money for car repairs that I know I will be needing soon.  Blech.

I'm glad I was honest here, even though part of me wishes I could make this thread disappear, as if it never happened.  Tucking myself away in my own little make believe world is where I would like to be, even though I know that little world is poision.  I think 14 years is long enough to have kept quiet and playing pretend that my issues aren't that serious.

On a really good note, I bought a bike today.  I had to order it, as they didn't have the size bike I needed.  But hopefully Friday I will have a brand spanking new Trek road bike to start peddling around town with!  I'm so excited!  I also ate fairly healthy today, minus the pizza for dinner :)  But that's OK, I am following the WW plan again, so it'll be taken out of my weekly "flex" points.  I made some more of my "throw it in the pot" soup.  This soup usually consists of a can of rinsed red kidney beans, tomatoes, garlic, onion and whatever else I have on hand for veggies (this time it was corn, peas, celery and some bell peppers).  I throw random spices in depending on my mood (I threw in some red pepper today to give it a kick).  I made enough for lunches for the next couple of days.  i'ts a very filling soup and healthy..plus it's easy to make, just throw it in the pot and let it simmer for awhile on low heat.  

I got no excercise in today, but it's just as well.  I went bike shopping, ran a few errands and my knee feels funky (I'm a klutz, I tripped and whacked my knee something fierce last night right before bed - I never was graceful).  

Again, thank you for the overwhelming support.  I'll be making it a point to look at this thread when I'm feel low and out of control.

Sharon, my friend did not attend the meetings, either.  Sounds like the two of you might be similar in that respect.  She, as a bulemic, was very thin, and that was part of why she didn't want to attend meetings.  She felt as if she'd be judged; that people there would be wondering why the "skinny girl" was there.  Also, she was dealing with something much more severe than just being overweight...an eating disorder is not something easily discussed in a group full of strangers.  She stuck to the WW points plan, kept the journal, and was monitored by the nutritionist.  She felt very comfortable doing this, and like I said, she gained that sense of control over her food, that she had previously sought through the unhealthy practices that lead to her disorder.  I'm sorry you had a bad experience at the meetings before...that's something that must be difficult...you're all supposed to be there to support each other, not lecture each other!  One bad apple, as they say.

The plan I did to lose my weight had me coming into an office a few times a week to weigh in and meet with a counselor.  I kept a food diary every day, and they would go through it to make sure I was staying on track.  That part, keeping the diary, was very helpful.  So, even if you don't want to do the full-fledged join-up with attending meetings and such, it sounds like you have a very good basis for beginning your new lifestyle.  You sound so enthusiastic about it, and I totally admire that.  Just don't lose hope...some weeks you may lose a lot, and some none or very little.  Don't get discouraged!!  It's normal, and you will meet your goal.

thanks aerial :) I wish I could see a nutritionist, that would be very helpful to meet with just one professinoal.  BUT, I have lost the weight before, I do know what a healthy diet looks like, and I will be talking with the SO later to do "check ins" with me - so I have one person to be accountable with about my binging.  So even if I'm technically not paying WW to use their plan I used it before with great success.  I lose weight slowly and if I start getting serious about getting back in shape with excercise, I'll lose it even slower due to the fact my body likes to put on muscles (that's ok with me!!!)  How fast I lose the weight really doesn't matter. 

 What really matters to me is gaining control over the food, and not having it control me.  To be honest, the weight loss is a side benefit of being able to do that.  Speaking of which time to pack my lunch =) 

the_gopher

So even if I'm technically not paying WW to use their plan I used it before with great success. 

That's what I do now. I joined WW for about 3 months, starting in July 2008. I just use a regular notebook as a food journal and my old WW books, counter, etc. ETA: I hold myself accountable because, well, because I'm losing the weigh for myself. So, if I cheat, I'm only cheating myself.

ottoluv

although I have obese patients tell me they "only eat saltines" all the time,

My sister (who isn't even close to obese, she just has 15-20 pounds of extra weight since having her baby) tries to pull this crap all the time. She was asking me the other day if it's true that eating too few calories will keep you from losing weight. Yeah, I told her, but do you really have any idea how many calories you eat a day? "I eat like two bowls of cereal a day, and that's it!" *groan* Yeah, and you still have plenty of breast milk for your baby how, exactly?? I see this girl eat way more than that every day, plus she DRINKS (coffee with tons of cream and sugar, soda, juice, etc. Not alcohol, lol..) a ton of calories, which I pointed out to her.. It's weird how delusional people can be.

I just wanted to give you my support to. I have been trying to lose weight useing the Sparkpeople wec site and it is very helpful I have not weighed in a couple of weeks (scale batteries died) but I feel better. It is not easy to stay on track exspecially with the ecercise for me because my allergys are out of control which in turn causes my asthmas to be bad. But I just take it easy and don't over do it.