Tipping Question

fuzzy_dogs_mom

NicoleS

  Why should servers at at a fancy place make oodles of money in tips compared to someone at a cheap place?  Same amount of work, technically.

Actually sometimes it's more work.  

It's like any job -- the guy at McDonalds may work HARDER than the I do as a legal secreary because I "sit" all day where the fast food person races back and forth, but a lot of it comes down to other elements of the job, what they have to know, their finesse with people, etc.  It's truly just like any position in the working world -- don't ever think the person who is paid more works 'harder' -- sometimes it's about working smarter, education and people skills and applying your talents to make your way in the world.

I'm allergic to fresh-cut basil and chipotle and both are super popular right now.  Once it's been 'cooked' the danger lessens for me, but I rely heavily on servers in some places to make sure I don't wind up with something I'm not expecting.   I always tell the servers but often in places that are less 'formal' and less expensive the server really just doesn't care (unless it's one I know super well, who incidentally knows we tip well). But one night I *told* the server I was allergic to Chipotle and when I got my burger I *knew* something tasted a bit odd ... not bad, just ... different.  Apparently someone either used a utensil that had chipotle sauce on it or maybe they put it on my burger and then scraped it off -- but I was broken out in hives by the time I got home.

But I rely more on a server in a nicer restaurant to help me avoid stuff with fresh cut basil in it -- to go CHECK and then come back to me with suggestions or information.

There are awesome servers in all walks of life and levels of restaurants.  There are also bad ones.  And I've got a couple of friends who work in places that aren't "high end" simply because it's their choice.  They LIKE the people they serve.  They LIKE the hoards of sports teams and their parents/significant others who come in -- and would die of boredom in a high end restaurant. 

But it's for sure -- ALL SERVERS are having a hard time now ... people are eating out less ... much less.  And many are tipping less.  So whatever we do -- let's all realize that servers work HARD for their money -- very hard. 

Thanks for the replies everyone.  I really appreciate the thoughts & opinions. 

NicoleS

 Why should servers at at a fancy place make oodles of money in tips compared to someone at a cheap place?  Same amount of work, technically.

For me, I expect a different level of service when I go to a fancy restaurant.  I also expect to pay for that service.  For example, DH & I both like Ihop.  We eat there more frequently than I care to admit.  I don't expect the same type of service for a $20 meal, as I expect for a $90 meal.  That might just be me.

I waitressed to help put myself through college, so I do know that it is a difficult job.  I also know how poorly waitresses are paid, & just how much they rely on tips to get by.  Normally, I tip 20% for decent service.  If the service is exceptional, I tip more than that.   I also tip my hairstylist, aesthetician, massage therapist, & even the personal trainer who I work with from time to time.

Callie, I did speak with the manager afterwards.  The company that I work for takes clients to this particular restaurant at least twice a week, so I knew that the manager would take care of us as he doesn't want to lose business.

Tonight's meal & service was spectacular.  Even though the meal was comped, we left a very generous tip for our server.

BEVOLASVEGAS

Tonight's meal & service was spectacular.  Even though the meal was comped, we left a very generous tip for our server.

Glad you had a better experience tonight!

If reference to my earlier comments, there are varying levels of prices even within the same restaurant.  It's still ordering one meal regardless, for instance.  But, as I said, I do base my tip on the cost of the meal and adjust from there since that's just what you do.  I just enjoy looking at things from different angles.  It's not like it's going to change anytime soon.  I do wish there was a differing system sometimes, at least on the consumer end, but it is much better to control it than, say, having it built into the price automatically or something.

Good service is definitely worth repeat visits and tipping well.

Sort of OT, but what's the tipping rule when you have bought a bottle of wine with your dinner?

When BF and I bought the company we work for in January of this year, a friend of ours who works in IT helped us set up our new server, etc, which took him several days.  My mom also flew down to help me get the accounting stuff set up (she's an accountant, so was awesome in helping me learn the ropes of bookkeeping), in addition to many conversations about the ins and outs of bookkeeping. 

Neither of them would let us pay them for their time and effort, so when mom was down here, we took her, our IT friend, and his wife out to dinner at a really nice steakhouse as a "thank you" to them.  My mom and our friend's wife wanted red wine with dinner, so I told them to go ahead and just get a bottle.  It wasn't an insanely expensive bottle, maybe $50, but of course it was included in our overall bill, and when I paid it, I tipped on the total, including the wine.  Just wondering if that was right or not.  Either way, our server deserved every penny of his tip...he was excellent.  I was just curious.

 I have had service bad enough to not-leave a tip before.  I would always do like you did, and talk to the  manager as well... because I don't see the point in refusing to tip if you don't speak to the manager.  They may just think you "forgot" or just that you are not a tipper.  Plus, complaining often gets you free or discounted stuff... I've had a couple of freebees that way

I only ever took my kids to family friendly places where the servers EXPECTED to be dealing with children.  I absolutely hate going to a really nice, expensive place and having my meal disrupted by whining/screaming/running around children.

I also never let my kids make huge messes and LEFT them or someone else to clean up.  If a mess was made, I cleaned it up.

I too have waitressed and I too know how much work it is and how hard those folks work.  And, I certainly have eyes and can see if they are uber busy and that's why they might be slow getting back to me.  But, by gosh, when I have to get UP and look for the server, or get UP and refill my own coffee cup, that isn't good service.  I do understand if s/he is swamped with tables, but I typically ind that THOSE servers are the ones who really make a point of checking in even if they are on the fly.  I guess that I also expect the server to come back and check on the quality of the food after it's served.

I'm not an overly demanding customer, but I do expect that someone who has CHOSEN to do this work, will not treat me like an annoyance if my food happens to be served cold and I want it HOT instead.

Amanda the mere fact that I did not kill him is tip enough. LOL. No seriously? I always tip...10%-15% for horrible, more like 20% for decent to good...higher for exceptional.

 I'm not sure if the tipping rules are different here.  I don't think I have ever tipped a delivery person or hairdresser, on the other hand, most places pay AT LEAST minimum wage, before tips.  I know a few places try to include the tips in the wage, but they're not really allowed to and I think that is being cracked down on. 

When I eat out I think we normally tip 10-15% of the total bill... not the total minus wine.  So, say we go out to eat at our favourite Italian place; it might cost around £90 for the 2 of us, thats 3 courses and a bottle of wine.  We usually leave about £10 tip, sometimes a little more.  So, is that stingy by your standards?   I mean, the wine is going to be at least £15.... I would like to think we tip reasonably well there because it's a really nice place, we love going there and the service is ALWAYS excellent and the food is literally to die for....

For some strange reason, the laws changed and servers are only paid $2 something an hour, the supposition being that they will make up the rest in tips.  All fine and good, BUT, they pay taxes on the entire minimum wage even if they don't have a single table to wait on.

So, yes, servers can get screwed and cheap people can make it worse.  A friend of mine works at Red Lobster and absolutely hates it when she has to work tables with folks from Canada.  THEIR servers are paid $13-15 per hour (so she says) so they don't feel the need to tip generously.  Back when our servers got a minumum of minimum wage I tipped 10%.  But, as things have changed, well, I've gotten more generous, but I do expect good service for a good tip.

I think the rule for tipping hair dressers, manicurists, etc. just depends on whether or not the person working on you is the shop owner.  If so, you don't tip.  If the person is an employee, then you do leave a tip.  I might be wrong.

Joyce

fuzzy_dogs_mom

I think the rule for tipping hair dressers, manicurists, etc. just depends on whether or not the person working on you is the shop owner.  If so, you don't tip.  If the person is an employee, then you do leave a tip.  I might be wrong.

Joyce

I know that's the rule, but the guy I go to own's the shop, and another, but I've always tipped him anyway. I've been going to him for many years and he always takes care of me, gets me in when I want, and is more like a friend than a hairdresser, so it just feels right to me.

NicoleS

I do wish there was a differing system sometimes, at least on the consumer end, but it is much better to control it than, say, having it built into the price automatically or something.

Unfortunately, as time has passed we've become so "me" oriented that people don't care much about "doing a good job" whether it's food service or widgets or whatever ... so if it was included in the price of the meal you'd get NO service at all.  *sigh*

And as a consumer -- we all have that "choice" -- to stay home, to eat somewhere cheaper, etc. -- and I think sometimes it's a mindset.  If you think "Oh, I'll go to ____________and my dinner will be ... maybe $7.98" -- then people forget that's plus tax, plus drink, plus tip. 

But it makes me NUTS when I see people ripping off a server, or generally ripping off a restaurant.  And often it is the MOST **respectable** looking people (often "mature" people of which I IS A MEMBUR!!!) -- they get a sandwich and say they want a cup for water.  Then they walk over to the drink area and fill that water cup with POP or TEA!!  grrrrr -- that is THEFT my friends!!

Or people who get up (after hogging a table for HOURS) and under the table it looks like trash day -- ewwww.  First off -- when I was a kid if I'd left crap under my chair my mother would have been after me to pick it up (even if i was toddle age)  but it's like many people make no effort at all and just kick things under the table (like no one is going to feel that french fry moosh under their foot ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)

Servers have to clean up AFTER you as well -- but it's not their job to hose the place down after your kid (or just plain messy adults!! yuck).  Again that's stealing servers' time and it's no wonder some of them have an attitude by the time I get there.

While we're all talking -- what words are BAD NEWS and makes your mental tip calculator burp and lower??

For us there are just a couple of things (but it's hot buttons with both David and I)

1.   They come zooming by the table to pick up the check and no matter what's peeking out of the folder or laying there they say "Will that do it?" or "You don't need change do you?" or "Do you *need* change?"

YEAH .. I need change.  I save it.  I collect it.  There's $19.95 in there more than the bill for $20.05 you moron -- you aren't THAT good!!

With David and I both that automatically deducts a $1 from whatever we'd mentally calculated to give them.

Why? It's presumptuous -- it's way too over-hopeful.  It's ... just poor manners.  You earn a tip.  It's NOT part of the bill.  I pay the bill and THEN leave you a tip -- don't presume on me.

 2.  Don't shortchange me.  And I'm not talking about making wrong change.  I'm talking about the bill came to $34.60 and you get a $5 bill back from 2 twenties?  NO.  Give me my change and I'll leave your tip.  But don't assume I'll take the change "out of your tip" -- or you may find that's ALL you get.  $.40 !!! 

Again, it's presumptive.  And with David they LOSE a dollar when they do that.

**HOWEVER** by the same token -- if they don't have change (and a lot of servers have to 'carry' their bank) but they UNDER charge  -- say the same scenario above he gets back a five and a one because they didn't have change for the one.-- then he'll round UP by a dollar.  They shorted themselves to go out of their way to make sure they didn't shortchange him -- he rewards that kind of honesty and guilelessness.  He's already darned generous.  He's from the UK so to him, food seems cheap here.   

About 15 years ago we were in Orlando for a vacation and it was really hard to get used to the fact that so many restaurants there included the tip in the cost of the meal.  One waiter told us it was because so many Europeans visited there and that was the system they were used to so if they didn't include it, they wouldn't get tipped. I don't know if they still do it that way or not.

Joyce

Hmm, I've been here since '83 and I've honestly never encountered that -- possibly something restaurants down near Disney may have done.  Now if it's for big parties YES, definitely -- and the entertainments (like Medieval Times, Capones, etc that are "dinner shows" -- THEY include a tip) but not in Orlando generally.  They do some strange stuff down in Osceola County *sigh*