What is THE most Romantic thing you have experienced??

Cita

 I think maybe this is like the infamous trainer debates... perhaps it's hard to believe that what doesn't work for you could work for other people.

LMBO in complete agreement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Admin speaking...

If any direction as to what is OK to post in a thread and what is not needs to be given, it will come from the mods/me.  Until such is needed, everyone is welcome to post on any thread with their own take on the subject provided those posts stay within the normal bounds of what is permitted here.  No one should ever be made to feel as though they shouldn't have posted, or as though they should not post. 

Everyone's opinions are valid, as the saying goes all roads lead to Rome.  It is for no one to say that one road is absolutely better, only that maybe it is better for that one person.  Disparaging any other poster's thoughts on what is so subjective a topic is not only unacceptable, but also frankly pointless.

Thanks.

 I still think of this to this day:

I met this guy through friends. I didn't see him all that often, just at occasional get togethers. One night at a party, we were chatting in a hallway, when all of a sudden he pulled me in to the bedroom we were next to, shut the door, pushed me up against the door, kissed me and said "will you go out with me?". I was so surprised! And Oh, talk about a pick up line! He had me!

Unfortunately, I did not realize how much he felt for me and I was not even thinking about being in a serious relationship at the time.

The night before I was moving away for college (I went to college later than most people). He invited me over and I didn't think much of it. We always hung out at his place - no biggy. Well, when I get there and walked in he pulled me in to his arms and kissed me like no tomorrow - seriously, the earth spun, he was a GREAT kisser. He had lit candles all over his apartment, made me a really good romantic dinner and then we went in to his bedroom (with him leading me there). There were more candles on each side of his bed and the lights were out. He devoted the entire night to me......if you know what I mean.

 I should have married that man. Instead, I went away to school and started to date 2 other guys at the same time. Eventually, I dropped this guy for one of the others who I eventually moved in with. Of course, that didn't last either!

I regret dumping him still! Now he is married with 2 kids and has an alcoholic wife. 

I alway think of me and fiance as not the least bit romantic (in the traditional corny blubberly sense), but when it comes down to it, we are ridiculously romantic. We know each other soooo well. We are the best of friends.

The one thing that comes to mind is his proposal. It sounds kind of silly and stupid to some people, but it was the sweetest thing. We were at a ski competition (watching) one weekend and I was waiting at the hotel for him to meet me there (he had been out skiing at a different resort 30 minutes away) he was getting pretty late and there was a huge snowstorm outside so I was getting kind of worried. He comes knocking at the door kisses me and says he has to get something from the car and goes out the back/patio door. I thought, oh hes getting his bags/skis. He comes bounding in covered in snow with this giant grin on his face and hands me a medium sized box. When I opened it I found an ice cream cake that said "marry me stacey" on it with a ring stuck in it. It was the cutest thing! Ice cream cakes are my absolute favourite dessert. Every single birthday I get soooo excited for my annual ice cream cake.

We also have all these cute names we call each other and things we do to make the other smile that are pretty random. Dave dances/walks like a crab  to make me smile. He will dance/walk by the door of whatever room I might be in like scurrying like a crab, generally Timmy is chasing behind him wondering what the heck hes doing. So he was all upset one night something to do with work and I couldn't crack a smile to save my life, so I tried this crab dance, I was TERRIBLE at it. He started laughing hysterically saying I wasn't fast enough.

I dunno....some of my romance things are sappy, others not so much.

Lobo seems to be a naturally romantic person, and it is not in the things he buys for me, or what he says to me, or how he holds me at night....it is WHY he does those things.

I told him that flowers would never be a necessity for me.  I find them to be absolutely USELESS!  Many of them are poisonous to my pets, they're another thing to take care of, and even then, no matter how good a job you do of taking care of them, they just die in a week anyway.  So, we have an understanding.  In the event that he should ever see a flower that makes him think of me, or an arrangement that he just HAS to get for me, I will accept it, and be happy about it, because it will be his appreciation of me that I will love, and the flowers are a symbol of that.

I require nothing of him during Valentines day, because I honestly hate the "holiday".  What's so special about him telling me he loves me on that day, when everybody else is doing the same (and a lot are doing it because they're in the doghouse with their SO)?

General things I find romantic:

 - Jon making me some coffee/tea without asking.  He knows exactly how I like both
 - Kissing me on the forehead, or fingers for no other reason than he wants to be closer
 - Letting me fall asleep in his lap while he plays video games
 - Rubbing my hips when they hurt so bad I just want to roll over and die
 - Telling me I'm beautiful or sexy when I try on some new clothing for him, even though I feel like an absolute cow
 - Starting my car for me when it's bloody well cold out!
 - Buying me a new dog toy when I've had a bad day (dog toys are my "flowers" xD)
 - Purchasing dog equipment I need without being asked

I have more trouble doing romantic things, because I feel completely awkward about it.  Usually my things involve me:

 - Buying new lingerie that I know he'll like (it's usually garter belts...I love garter belts and feel comfortable in them)
 - Surprising him with a nice new badger bristle shaving brush that he wanted
 - Getting him various scents of shaving soaps (he's old fashioned...brush, shaving soap, single bladed razor)
 - Writing pieces of music for him

It's not a lot, but it's all I know how to do right now.  I've not had much experience in the dating realm 

Xeph

It's not a lot, but it's all I know how to do right now.  I've not had much experience in the dating realm 

FWIW Xeph, it sounds like you're doing great!

Okay... *takes a deep breath* I've been reading and rereading and rereading this thread...

The first time around, I was stumped. I couldn't think of anything that would 'qualify' as romantic to share. Definitely not anything that doesn't requite this huge backstory and would probably make no sense to anyone else...

Then I passed to the 'we don't need superficial romance stage'.

Now I can truly say.. I don't think I get it. (blah.. married 20 years and I say this now...  is something really wrong here)

I'm all for the fairytale romances, I read all the sweet and not-so-sweet romance books. I always thought *romance* was just another way of saying *I love you and I care about you and I think about you*

Am I wrong? I really want to know. Is it romance or love stuff that warms your heart when you remember it? How do you know the difference between "He loves me so much, he did this" vs "He was so romantic when he did this" ?

Susan 

Jewlieee

I regret dumping him still! Now he is married with 2 kids and has an alcoholic wife. 

ARGH!!!  Ya great wally!  *sigh*  I woulda snapped him up....

3girls

Am I wrong? I really want to know. Is it romance or love stuff that warms your heart when you remember it? How do you know the difference between "He loves me so much, he did this" vs "He was so romantic when he did this" ?

I wouldn't surprise me if everyone has their own definition/answer for this.  Mine is that I find it romantic when DH steps out of the box in some way, or when he goes above and beyond in some way.  I don't find it romantic when he makes me a cup of coffee or tea every morning, although I do think it's a loving gesture, but I do find it romantic when he brings me breakfast in bed.  It's not romance when he agrees to go to a dog show with me, but it is when he suggests that we spend Valentine's Day that way.   They may be somewhat subtle differences, but they are subtle differences that he didn't have to create. 

Of course, the occasional wild romantic gesture is wonderful too, but all the better because they don't happen often - I would find it hard to live under the pressure of grand romance all the time. 

 OK, I have read this thread over so many times and I have had an epiphany

I think I know what romance is.  Romance ISN'T just reserved for couples, although that's often where you find it.  

Having romance in your soul, means, to me, believing that your dreams can come true.... the big dreams, the life dreams. 

I am not romantic at all in the Valentines Day sense.  I don't really do flowers and chocolates and all that.  But, by this definition ^ ^ ^, I am a hopeless romantic.  I do believe that good things are just around the corner, even when things are very black.  I do believe that I might win the lottery tonight and think about how much I would like to win and what I would do with the money....

Romance in a relationship is where one person tries to make the other person's dream come true.  So, it is about connection, but it's more than that.... it's connection in quite a deep way.  When I have a meaningful conversation with my friend and we "connect" and understand each other, that's not romance. It's not invalid, but it's not romance.

So, when a woman is sat at work and thinking (dreaming) about how she would really like a bunch of flowers waiting for her when she gets home, and her partner understood her enough to know how much she would like it and goes to lengths to make that happen - that's romance

When I opened my Christmas presents and found the ticket to see a favourite stand up comedian, that was romantic.  Other people might think it's not a very exciting gift, but I've wanted to see this guy for ages.  The fact that DH went out and bought it and kept it a secret and will take me there on the day....  **For me** - that's romantic.

Deep down, nature wires most of us to want to be "with someone".  That's a fundamental dream for most of us.  To share our lives with someone who loves us, wants us, accepts us and does little things to make us happy.  When that dream is fulfilled in little ways.... that's romance.

I think my wedding was very romantic.  I never had dreams of a fairy tale wedding as a kid, but when I did start thinking about it it was so great to have those "dreams" come true... my dress and my ring were singularly the two most beautiful objects I had ever owned and I felt like, well, like a princess or something.  DH had gone to a lot of effort to make what *I* wanted possible.... that's romance.

Bingo Chuffy!  Your perceptions sing to me.  Romance is an inate power that comes with knowing what your friend, your partner your self wants and needs.  There really is no debating what romance is; it is merely the idealization of love; one's way to express affection.  To one person its one thing, to another person its something else.

I don't know how this thread became so difficult.   The middle part of this became quite unromantic.  But, it seems to back on track now.

I am not the romantic in my relationships; I'm far to much of a realist.  My DH who is an idealist carries that title in his relationships.  He is thoughtful; he is caring and goes out of his way to make me happy and to make my life easier on a daily basis (most of the time...lol).

Mine might sound funny, but a few years ago I had to go for a lot of blood work, and one day I had so much done and I was so dizzy because I can't eat anything before and it was late in the afternoon, BF came to pick me up, and he knows how dizzy and ill i feel after having the blood work done, as soon as I got into his car, he had an open bottle of orange juice for me all ready and a package of starburst and a BLT bagel sandwich all unwrapped for me lol

Or lol when I had a lot of dental work done and for a while after I could only eat small little bites of food, we went to dinner with friends and he cut up my dinner in small pieces for as soon as it was set down lol

I think it is romantic to me, when I am laying in his bed napping and he will be playing on his computer, that he will come over to me and tuck in the blankets around me all snug and kiss me very gently on the forehead or lips, i love that

3girls

Am I wrong? I really want to know. Is it romance or love stuff that warms your heart when you remember it? How do you know the difference between "He loves me so much, he did this" vs "He was so romantic when he did this" ?

I don't think there IS a difference -- I don't think it's at all important what "definition" you use ... it's unique ... because YOU are unique.  I think it can be *either* "he loves me so much" or "he was so romantic" ... those are literally shades of meaning and labeling it isn't important.  What IS important is not taking it for granted.

I think I can say that was Bonita's point ... trying to get folks to *THINK* about it.  Right now so many of us are SOOOOOO weighed down with money, bills, worry about jobs, more month than bills, can we keep the house, being sick, being down, everything just being TOO MUCH for most everyone. 

One of the ways to get THRU times like that intact and still in tune with each other and BETTER than we were before is to either "count your blessings" or in some specific ways find appreciation. 

And sometimes just adjusting how we perceive our mate/spouse/s.o./whatever you call them -- just that little tweak to say "hmmm, man that IS special" or "we don't have money but wow -- now that I think about it, that was pretty darned awesome!!"  And maybe some haven't done or tried to "do" anything romantic, loving, sweet, special or wahtever in a long time -- and maybe that's because some folks buy into the whole "Hallmark Mafia" thing (I SOOOOO LOVE THAT PHRASE!!) ... and it doesn't take money.  Sometimes it just takes a sunset ... or a word ...

Don't worry about the difference ... but maybe revel in making a difference???  Telling a guy "wow -- I loved that" when he didn't know he DID anything 'good' can be a good thing.

CoBuHe

There really is no debating what romance is; it is merely the idealization of love; 

This has firmly settled a definition for me!!!  Thank you, CoBuHe!!!!  I will repeat that to myself forever as my definition of romance!

calliecritturs

Don't worry about the difference ... but maybe revel in making a difference???  Telling a guy "wow -- I loved that" when he didn't know he DID anything 'good' can be a good thing.

yeah its a little thing called positive reinforcement.  Works like a charm in getting the "subject" to repeat the desiarble behaviour!!!