I wish I could tell my dogs...

Oliver - I know that the jump ropes hanging on my wall make the best play-toys at 4am....but there are other people living in the other room that like to sleep at that hour. Ok? So, lets not paw at them, make them hit the wall *very* hard, then throw your entire bosy wieght on the wall. You may only weigh 2-3lbs, but these walls are thin, and you make a nice THUD. So, sweetie, unless you WANT to be crated like a dog every night, lets not do that. K?

--Yes, my CATS are crate-trained......yea, I get weird looks for that one. LOL!

AuroraLove

-Lastly.......he's not hurting me, its what grown ups do!

I laughed out loud with this one.  Too funny!

Buddy, my love of almost 10 years.  Lift your head up, walk with pride.  You are the eldest and the biggest dog at the house.  Give yourself more credit; act like the top dog.  And, don't let Bruder hump you; it saddens me to see the look on your face pleading me to make him stop.  Also, I love that you are a natural heeler, but really...you don't have to attach yourself to my left side at all times.  Thank goodness you are so tall, with as many times as I've turned to the left and nearly fallen over you.

Heidi, my sweet.  You aren't really that sweet, but I am hopeful, always.  I consider it a treat when you let me love up on you; so thanks for tolerating my cuddles.  Also, could you please tone it down a bit when you and your Lil Bruder are playing.  You scare the daddy; and I can't really blame him.  You sound like a freight train or a roaring lioness. I know you are young and will eventually settle down, so go ahead and have as much fun as you can muster.

Bruder, you adorable little cuddlebucket.  You are safe and you know it now.  You have been accepted by the other dogs and have swept us humans off our feet.  I am so happy you found us.  Now, could you please tone down the body slamming poor old Buddy.  He is not your personal playtoy. 

Rocky the cat.  I really appreciate the fact that you are a neatnik.  But, my coffee cup doesn't require a cleaning job when its on the table.  No need for you to clean the area around it with your paws.  Thanks though.

Shadow the cat.  You've been a part of this family for almost 12 years now, and you are the one that I feel most connected with spiritually.  Why is that?  I love the way you love me.  You can sit on my lap for an hour purring the whole time.  And, when you do; and you look back at me upside down with those gorgeous golden eyes purring so loud its like a roar, my heart just melts. 

Ginger the cat.  You found us over 11 years ago; just a wee kitten.  I don't think you were even 5 weeks old, but I'm not really sure because you are so tiny...now all of 6 pounds.  I wish that after all of these years you could realize that no one is going to hurt you.  People want to see you, you are so pretty and sweet.  Try really hard next time we have visitors to come out and say hello.  No one believes me when I say we have 3 cats.  Some people have never even seen you, my little scaredy cat.  Also, do me a favor...keep your butt out of my face when we are cuddling on the couch.  IT is not pretty.

AuroraLove

-Lastly.......he's not hurting me, its what grown ups do!

Bevo, pay attention to this!!!

Gracie- I am sorry for putting you through two cross-country moves in a year.  More to the point, subjecting you to 4 other dogs when you used to be an only dog.  (That two-month respite with Mick being our only two-legged roommate was great, wasn't it?!)  In all honesty, I'm sorry for all the things I did wrong that might have made your life unnecessarily tougher.  You're a very good girl and you deserve the best.

Henry really can be a piss bucket, but he just doesn't know how to play any better.  When we can find a fenced field, I think you will find him fun to race with - and you will have more room to get away from him.

Patrick is not as bad as you thought - he just looks and sounds funny.  You're a good girl for getting over your fear of him.

I know you are tougher than you act sometimes - or maybe tougher than I think.  But I do feel sorry for you when you are shivering.

Thank you for being such a good girl, for listening and learning and being there for the good times and bad.  You are a spectacular being and I feel blessed to enjoy you every day.

Dear Jed,

  The vacuum cleaner has not come to kill us all. Please do not bite it.

  While I love spending time with you, the bed is in fact, designed for me. You're welcome to sleep on it, but not in the center stretched out as long/wide as possible.

  The kitty is much smaller than you. He is unable to be your wrestling buddy. Please stop trying.

recclest

  The kitty is much smaller than you. He is unable to be your wrestling buddy. Please stop trying.

Can you tell that to Joker too? He isnt convinced when I tell him that.

 Maze,

• I love you to death but the people knocking on the door are not trying to kill you. You don't need to act like a rabid dog every time someone comes to the door..
• The cat food bin is not your personal buffet. Please stop opening it.
• When Sandy squeaks during play, it's not a good sign.
• Also, placing toys and staring non-stop at the heating vents with not make the mice come out to "play"
• Whining at them doesn't work either.
• When Alex and I are on the bed, he's not hurting me. You don't need to preform an over all body sniff or sit so close that I can't breath after the fact. I'm fine. If it hurt I would say something.
  

Sandy

• Pulling till you choke is not going to get you to the destination faster.
• Neither is running full speed til you hit the end of the leash.
• Not everyone love the "hyper spastic puppy" routine first thing in the morning
• Running full speed then launching your self on to the Dad's "jewels" in the morning is not a good way to wake him up. Although it is funny.
• The cat does not like you. Infact I can almost bet he hates you. Pulling his tail is only going to make him hate you more.
• The cat is old and grumpy. He does not play. When he bites you, it's not a sign to play.

Kameo the cat

• Maze is bigger then you. One day she'll use her weight. Stop chasing her around the house please.
• Sandy is not a chew toy. Please stop using her as one.
• Hiding up on the highest perch in the house does not mean you can randomly attack people's heads for no reason.
• Whining at me does not make your wet food appear any faster
• Neither does glaring at me after it's gone
• Or sticking your head in to the can.. that will get you a tap on the head and the food moved to a different spot.