sharismom
How does one explain to a dog that you are trying to help him and that the medicine that's supposed to help him stop having seizures is making him feel abnormal? And that you don't want to give it to him because it's so hard on other parts of his body, but it is not right to let him seizure himself to death? I do talk to him (crazy woman living alone, who else is there?), so I hope he understands some of what I'm telling him.
How? You just open your mouth and let the words fall out.
If you're crazy for talking to your dogs then I've been certifiable for at least 50 of my 54 years. No, I was talking to my stuffed toys way before that. And THEY always understood. (well, when I was 3 they did!)
But therein is the difference -- Cuddles and J-Fred weren't real. They WERE toys. Dogs are sentient beings (thank you Star Trek for making that a common household word "sentient";). They HAVE understanding.
Do they understand each and every word? No -- probably not (altho some of them understand an alarming amount of language). BUT not only do they understand most words as "commands" remember -- a dog's natural communication is body-language. so the fact that you're all riled up, probably curled up tighter than a cheap alarm clock wound over-tight do you think he "gets" that? Sure he does.
"Bear, I don't know what to do -- if I don't give you this you could seize to death, if I do, you feel ugly." -- he "gets" CONFLICTED. Yep -- he understands you are conflicted ... about him. That's crystal clear. and I'd bet the "I don't know what to do" -- I'd betcha he understands that like "sit" or "stay".
We teach ours one very specific "command" or vocabulary word/phrase. "This will help" -- every time the vet has to hurt him, every time they have to do a fecal, every time they adjust him (which might be temporarily uncomfortable) or needle him -- ANYTHING that a vet does we preface by "This will help you".
sometimes it helps right away -- sometimes it doesn't -- but by the trust you've built over time they DO UNDERSTAND your intent.
Now a holistic vet will tell you (and a lot of regular vets too) that most animals will understand -- not with words but just by your body language and pheromes you put off "intent". That you mean them no harm, that you're trying TO help and essentially that you have your best interests at heart.
I've tried it with dogs (especially dogs unknown to me), and with fish, and frogs and snakes (eww, yeah, even a snake), turtles, and other wild things -- I just talk to them. I keep my tone soothing -- but they DO "get it" that I mean them no harm.
I've had frogs let me just pick them up to move them out of the house. I had a tiny little baby gekko lizard about 1" long on my windshield wiper the other day -- I stopped the car (in traffic? oh yeah I pulled 'over' which wasn't helpful at all) and TOLD him "I've got to move you but I will try not to hurt" -- the little guy allowed me to pick him up and I got him out of traffic and set him free. He KNEW he would have died otherwise. I know he did.
Intent -- they get it, Tina. They do.
We humans think we're so superior but I'm convinced most animals have at least some form of perception that we humans are scared to death of. To them it's natural -- they scent the pheromes and they see the body language and they sense our intent.
Bear 'gets it' more than you think. Just let him know you UNDERSTAND -- that he's feeling weird, that he's cranky and cross, and that frustrates HIM.
When you give him something like valerian or whatever TELL HIM what it is. Will he understand the first time? Heck no. But he will the next time -- "she gave me that and I got angry but at least I'm not shaking all over". TELL him the word "seizure" -- when he comes to you confused and scared and maybe in the aura phase ASK HIM "Feell like you're gonna seize? Let's work on your ears ..." (Rita will teach you that)
Dogs operate on a much simpler level than we do -- we get all knotted up with decisions (particularly those of us who have survived some nasty stuff in our pasts like "exes" -- and the lack of confidence in our own decision-making capacities can be HUGE). dogs don't. You sleep or you're awake. You eat it or you don't. You stay or go.
Sometimes I'll even ask them to let ME know ... I tell Billy ALL the time "If you don't feel good, I need to know it!" and he finds ways to let me know. The tail doesn't wag. He doesn't jump up for a kiss ... small things. But then I'll ask him "Are you not feeling ok? Show me" and he'll creep close and often turn himself so the body part that hurts is under my hand.
Just have faith in Bear, Tina. He'll deal with it -- but don't second guess yourself. You're doing your best and you've got to give this a while to level out. Life is more than the "now" -- we work towards resolution sometimes.
Take some times just to 'be' together. Get some of whatever HE likes the bestest ... slices of hot dog? spaghetti? Whatever.
And *you too* -- Hagen Daz coffee ice cream with homemade fudge sauce? (oops, no that's ME)
But sit and give him some while you eat some of yours and just plain have a mutual pity party -- get it out and get it over. But let him know you understand he's irritable because of the drug. "That's the pheno -- crappy stuff, BUT you aren't seizing!!"
Yeah -- it's ok to point out to them how this IS helping ... it's hard and it sucks, but it IS helping. By naming the 'seizures' you help HIM make the connection.
I'm glad you're calling -- David should be home by 7 and he's awesome with this stuff too. We talked about you at dinner last night (isn't that what everyone talks to their spouse/s.o. about at dinner? Dogs on the board??)