Bear - I don't know what to do

 Good vibes from across the pond that the answer is something that is manageable, livable and provides BOTH of you with a good quality of life.  I can't imagine how difficult this is for you. 

  I can't imagine how frustrating this is. Poor Bear; you must be heartbroken. I'll keep you in my prayers; {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

Thank you everyone for the kind words.

Callie, I did talk to the TCM vet yesterday morning.  She recommended keeping him on phenobarb in combination with the acupuncture, then if he stablizes and has no seizures in 6 months, to start weaning him off the phenobarb.  Also, she said that she feels it is too soon to start herbals because we won't know what is really working - the combination, just the phenobarb & acupuncture, or herbs and acupuncture.  And because the herbs and acupuncture are a process, not overnight, we need to stablize him now and stop the seizures.

The TCM vet said that because Bear wasn't just having one seizure every 3 weeks, it's 5 or 6, that's a cause for concern.  Even though he isn't clustering (yet), the more he has, the more he will have.  He started with one every three weeks, then went to two, until the prior multiple seizure episode.

My regular vet's office, thankfully on Saturday it was one of the doctors I like and who listens who was on duty.  I gave him all the info about what the TCM vet has done and he called her office to have the receptionist go over the chart with him.  The local doctor also had some pretty good understanding of the TCM theory and methods, said he would go to the institute if he had the time, which he doesn't at the moment.  So I felt a lot better talking to him along with the TCM vet.

This is so hard - I don't want to give up on Bear.  I already suffer from chronic depression and he gets me up and outside myself.  He's funny and sweet and I was enjoying our relationship - I have time for him, have done some training, and planned on taking a road-trip with him.  My son is grown and gone, and my love-life is in the pooper.  Bear is my dog-buddy.

Oh, and did I mention that, as if all the seizures and stress weren't enough, I was doing a load of laundry Saturday night and when the water spun out, it backed up from the main drain into my bathtub and toilet, nearly causing an overflow?  And I just paid $200 for the same drain to be augered on a Sunday a month ago because the same thing happened?

Someone shoot me...

sharismom

This is so hard - I don't want to give up on Bear.  I already suffer from chronic depression and he gets me up and outside myself.  He's funny and sweet and I was enjoying our relationship - I have time for him, have done some training, and planned on taking a road-trip with him.  My son is grown and gone, and my love-life is in the pooper.  Bear is my dog-buddy.

No matter what happens, you will never have given up on Bear. It's so obvious that you love him dearly and are doing everything you can for him. If the difficult decision ever had to be made, it won't be because you threw your hands up in the air. It will be because you realize that you can't help him any longer and you love him that much. I hope and pray that won't be the case, but I just don't want you adding guilt to the long list of emotions you're feeling.

As has already been said, take care of yourself too and try not to do more than you can handle at any one time. It does seem like when it rains, it pours, but hopefully that's a sign of some sunshine coming your way soon.

 Tina I don't have any medical advice - just a lot of concern and sympathy.  Bugsy is my dog buddy and I don't know what I would do in your situation.

So I will pray for you and Bear and Bugsy sends his strongest vibes and sloppy kisses

 Tina, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have no seizure experience, but I'll be keeping you and Bear in my thoughts. ((hugs))

 (((((((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))))))))))))) to both of you. I'm so sorry that you're having such a bad time. The pheno made Emma into a zombie dog. Total opposite effect.

I hope that you and Bear are feeling better, very soon. Seizures are a terrible thing to deal with.

No advice- just wanted to say that i'm sorry and i hope things look up for him soon 

Tina -- you have to get your own stress under control too -- that's not me being judgmental, that's from the "preaching to myself" files.  *sigh* 

PLEASE call me -- if we can do it tomorrow evening maybe between 6 - 8 e.s.t?  I emailed Rita and she can probably talk you thru some T-Touch that may also help during a seizure.  She is the BOMB on seizure stuff - she's helped more epi dogs and she knows exactly what to tell you better than me.

You will get this leveled off and it sounds to me like you've got awesome veterinary support.  The "going thru it" is unbelievably tough but you WILL get it under control.

All I can give is hugs and a quiet ear to listen, or read, I should say. You've got us to lean on.

 You will get through this and so will Bear. So sorry your're even dealing with this.

We are thinking of you guys here too!!

Thank you everyone for the support and cyber hugs.  I am trying to apply the One Day at a Time principle to this situation and had a little better night last night.  I'm also trying to remember that this is confusing for Bear, too.  How does one explain to a dog that you are trying to help him and that the medicine that's supposed to help him stop having seizures is making him feel abnormal?  And that you don't want to give it to him because it's so hard on other parts of his body, but it is not right to let him seizure himself to death?  I do talk to him (crazy woman living alone, who else is there?), so I hope he understands some of what I'm telling him.

Callie, I will call you tonight at 7:00p.

Is it crazy to talk to your dog? If it is, somebody needs to admit me. I talk to my dogs, and everybody else's dogs.I talk to the girls, all day, like they're people. If you're quiet enough, they'll talk back. It's pretty awesome.  They DO understand, if not the words, they at least get the sentiment. It's soothing to both of you. Keep talking to him, and keep taking it a day at a time. I think that's the only way to deal with any big issue...