SSSSSSH dont' tell my Mom I'm on the internet, she already thinks I'm too smart for my own good. My Mom was ignoring me this morning, saying something about taking me out for our walk AFTER she puts chicken soup on to cook. Sheesh, like I can wait that long. I mean she didn't even give me any chicken. I tried jumping up on the table, grabbing papers, finding a shoe to get her attention - but that only seemed to make her get THAT look on her face. After forever she FINALLY got ready. I found her other shoe for her, but I kinda forgot to give it to her and instead ran around the living room with it. Don't know why she wouldn't chase me, chasing is fun. These humans don't know how to have FUN.
So she gets my leash and instead of waiting for her to put down the baby gate, I just jumped over it. Piece of cake (yeah they won't let me have cake either). Mom says we're going to go for a really really really long walk. Something about me grating on her nerves by being disobedient (I like being called disobedient, got a nice ring to it). I dunno what that was all about. I mean we had fun this morning. I chewed off a piece of a blanket, I grabbed the pillow and ran around with it (again those pesky humans won't CHASE me), I tore up some papers (that really made Mom mad something about "work stuff";), AND I showed off my skills by jumping over the baby gate a few times, or crawling under it. I really thought that was all fun. Plus I wanted to be in the kitchen where the chicken was. Mom asked me to go lay down, but that's BOOORING. She said no chicken if I didn't, and I think that's when I found her shoe.
Anyway, so we start walking down the street and I found DEER POOP. YUMMMY. First I rolled in it then I ate some. Mom called me "such a dog", not sure if that was a compliment. There were so many leaves around and I had fun trying to catch them and chew them. We got to the bridge where we usually turn around and go back home but instead we turned down a path and started hiking along that. OMG so cool! I also found dog and horse poop to eat, it was buried under leaves. Mom turned this funny shade of green. We came to this big open field and I wanted to run, but Mom wouldn't let me go off leash. So I found some mud puddles to splash in and Mom seemed to be laughing and groaning at the same time. Humans are silly - they should try splashing in mud, it's great! We just kept walking and Mom finally seemed to be happy and was laughing at me (that's OK I like making my humans laugh). We came to this, what my Mom called a bridge, but wasn't like any bridge I saw before. Mom said I had to be careful because there were holes in the bridge. I just wanted to jump in the water - but Mom said I'd hurt myself 'cause the water was too shallow. At the end of the bridge she stepped in some mud and almost fell down. I got real concerned for her and gave her a big kiss. She just went EEEWWWWW poopy breath. Like I said humans are weird.
Finally we got to the RIVER. Mom took off my leash and I ran all the way to the water and splashed around and went for a swim. Then I rolled around in the sand, and went back for another swim. All of a sudden it started raining really really hard. I LOOVE the rain. Mom didn't seem to mind either cause she started laughing really loud, saying something about wearing a white shirt (not sure what that means). She let me swim in the rain (she's a cool Mom) but finally she made me come over and hooked on the leash. We walked back home and I stopped pulling on the leash so much cause I was getting pretty beat. When we got inside Mom said we were gone for 2 HOURS. I guess that's a lot. I dunno. Right now I think she's coming back and I'm *yaaaaaawn* kinda sleepy.