Chuffy
Posted : 10/23/2008 9:27:58 AM
I am so grateful for everyones kind thoughts.
There have been dozens of messges and cards sent by all kinds of people who knew my dad, and each one has been unique, personal and heartfelt. You get the feeling that they ahven't contacted us so much out of pity for us, but out of genuine sorrow at his passing, and strangely that is the greatest comfort of all - that there are so many out there who share our grief. It may sound like a cliche, but he touched SO many people with his warmth and strength, his jolly outlook and his generous heart.
The funeral will be next Friday. Step mum is making a bit of a pantomime out of it, but I suggested we let her do what she likes and what SHE thinks dad would have wanted. She was his next of kin and he chose her; it is her right. Besides, we can do it OUR way, with no interference from her, if we let her do the funeral HER way. This way everyone gets their way and there will be no arguing. Dad would have liked that. We are thinking of doing a tribute for him around his birthday (in January) - a celebration of his life. Dad always liked a good knees up.
Six of his closest friends - more like brothers really - will be bearers. One of them, John, he asked for many times before the end, and John sat near him and chatted, or just read the paper quietly with a hand on his arm. I think Dad drew a lot of strength and courage from that.
Two of my nieces will contribute. The eldest will read something we have all put together about our memories of dad and what he meant to us, which we are working on at the moment. Another will read a poem (Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep) and play a piece on her saxophone. The poem was going to be "We are Seven" by William Wordsworth but it's quite long and we are pushed for time. It might also be difficult for my niece to read as the wording is quite old fashioned. Not only that, but it will make it seem like a slap in the face to my step mum, because seven = dad and his 6 children. It's tempting but... no. I can hear Dad's voice saying "Keep your nose clean." 