What does "feminism" mean to you?

For me I guess it means equal pay for equal work and the right to make choices.  Whether or not a woman chooses to climb the corporate ladder to become a Fortune 500 CEO or to stay at home and raise her own children, the choice is hers ... and that choice needs to be respected by people who made different choices. That's what the womens movement was about in the first place - CHOICE.

Joyce

I don't feel I would have the choice to stay home.  My best friend stays home because of a medical condition, she has two kids, her husband does corporate tax, so it's not like he's workin at Walmart, but money is sooo tight.  And they are not extravagant at all.  They can't get out of an apartment, money is very tight.  Two incomes is almost a necessity in so cali, at least where I'm at.   Things have changed a lot - my mom stayed home with 3 kids and my dad never made half as much as my husband and I do, yet they had house, we went on vacation, we had plenty of food and clothes.  We could never do all that on one salary, heck we cant do it on two.

fuzzy_dogs_mom

 Whether or not a woman chooses to climb the corporate ladder to become a Fortune 500 CEO or to stay at home and raise her own children, the choice is hers

Joyce

a choice not afforded to most men. 

that may be so, but Cali isn't the only state in the union as they say. I lived there and moved, happily when I met my then fiancee now husband. The reason were just as you say...money. I did not want to live in an apt forever, I wanted to be able to afford to have kids and maybe someday stay home.

So I moved...

choices are there...not always 100% secure or perfect but they are there.

cyclefiend2000

fuzzy_dogs_mom

 Whether or not a woman chooses to climb the corporate ladder to become a Fortune 500 CEO or to stay at home and raise her own children, the choice is hers

Joyce

 

a choice not afforded to most men. 

How so?

I can't think of any examples where a man or women doesn't have the choice.  Who is forcing people to work?
 

Liesje

How so?

I can't think of any examples where a man or women doesn't have the choice.  Who is forcing people to work?
 

how many stay at homes moms would trade places with their husband? none that i know.

cyclefiend2000

Liesje

How so?

I can't think of any examples where a man or women doesn't have the choice.  Who is forcing people to work?
 

 

 

how many stay at homes moms would trade places with their husband? none that i know.

I'm not sure what the question means.  DH has always wanted to stay home with our future kids, no one is forcing him to work.  I know a lot of guys that have stayed home either b/c that's what they wanted as a couple or the wife makes way more anyway.  If guys want to stay home, then stay home.  I don't see how that's a problem with women.

Liesje

I'm not sure what the question means.  DH has always wanted to stay home with our future kids, no one is forcing him to work.  I know a lot of guys that have stayed home either b/c that's what they wanted as a couple or the wife makes way more anyway.  If guys want to stay home, then stay home.  I don't see how that's a problem with women.

well typically one person (either the husband or the wife) has to continue working otherwise they are homeless parents. most of the women i know that stay home with their kids would not want to be the one doing the money earning work... therefore the husband (ie.. the man) is left with few options. 

up until recently, i never even considered that there was any option for any man except work until he dies or be a homeless person. women have always had an option in my limited lifespan... my mom works, both my grandmothers worked, almost all my aunts work... of course so do/did their husbands.

cyclefiend2000

well typically one person (either the husband or the wife) has to continue working otherwise they are homeless parents. most of the women i know that stay home with their kids would not want to be the one doing the money earning work... therefore the husband (ie.. the man) is left with few options. 

I don't think that's fair then, if the man is unhappy with this and/or is resentful about it.  It should be talked over before having kids.  My dad would not have wanted to stay home.  To me, the staying-at-home issue is more of a relationship issue than a gender inequality issue.  It's certainly not something I would hold against women.

cyclefiend2000

i never even considered that there was any option for any man

You's general...

The options a man/woman does or doesn't have are really dictated by him/her. If he/she wants to stay home and have kids, then he/she will find a partner that shares that vision. If he/she wants to work, and excel in his/her field and be supported by a partner who stays home and holds that fort down...he/she finds that partner. If BOTH parties want to excel achieve and have their kids in daycare or simply not have them, etc...both will seek each other out.

If you both agree and have a shared vision of what each person will do or won't do then really it's not anything that speaks about either gender as a whole...but only that couple.

If you are in a relationship with someone who makes you feel you have NO choice but to work OR to stay home...even tho it's not what you truly want? That's less about feminism and more about someone failing to realize that they deserve to be with someone who holds their wishes and plans as important as they do their own.

cyclefiend2000

Liesje

How so?

I can't think of any examples where a man or women doesn't have the choice.  Who is forcing people to work?
 

 

 

how many stay at homes moms would trade places with their husband? none that i know.

I would, if it was best for our family as a whole.  FWIW, I am close friends with two families with stay-at-home dads and know of a couple more.  In each case it's what works best for their families as a whole.  Most of those working moms would prefer to be able to spend a lot more time with their children.  But they are the ones who earn the most, so it's most beneficial for their whole family for them to continue working.  And so they do.

 In the current financial climate, neither DH NOR myself have a choice about whether we work or stay home with Will.  We can't afford not to work.  And we don't have yearly holidays, we don't smoke drink, we don't eat out often and we have very few luxuries.  We just couldn't afford to have Will unless we both kept working. 

Sorry, back to topic.

rwbeagles

that may be so, but Cali isn't the only state in the union as they say. I lived there and moved, happily when I met my then fiancee now husband. The reason were just as you say...money. I did not want to live in an apt forever, I wanted to be able to afford to have kids and maybe someday stay home.

So I moved...

choices are there...not always 100% secure or perfect but they are there.

rwbeagles

You's general...

The options a man/woman does or doesn't have are really dictated by him/her. If he/she wants to stay home and have kids, then he/she will find a partner that shares that vision. If he/she wants to work, and excel in his/her field and be supported by a partner who stays home and holds that fort down...he/she finds that partner. If BOTH parties want to excel achieve and have their kids in daycare or simply not have them, etc...both will seek each other out.

If you both agree and have a shared vision of what each person will do or won't do then really it's not anything that speaks about either gender as a whole...but only that couple.

If you are in a relationship with someone who makes you feel you have NO choice but to work OR to stay home...even tho it's not what you truly want? That's less about feminism and more about someone failing to realize that they deserve to be with someone who holds their wishes and plans as important as they do their own.

 

ahhh.... the utopia.

Bradley Utopia to you is my reality...far from perfect...but who you're with should make you happy. That's not Utopia so much as what we all deserve, IMO.