general advice on desensitizing

RAther than leaving him 'out' -- how about a bigger crate as a SECOND crate. 

We always train them "Gotta watch the house for us" when we crate the dogs when we go to work or go out. 

I also work BIG TIME on teaching them vocabulary as an extension of commands.  Literaly, they identify "gotta go to work" with all day.  They leave in the morning after breakfast and are back by supper time.

But other phrases have time-meaning to them.  "going shopping" is shorter with me coming back laden with packages.  "going for supper" often results in a "white box" of leftovers for them. 

You would have to desensitize him to very short periods of time -- I'd make sure all good things happen in the crate -- probably similarly to how you got him to accept the crate initially. 

But use the crate as his place for special stuff -- like a marrow bone that will keep him occupied for a while.   Never give it when you're "gone" during the day, but rather pop him back in the crate, add the marrow bone and then go about your normal "stuff" around the house.  You leave him for a few seconds, and blow back by and say "WOW, whatta good boy Sammy ... how's your bone?  YUM??"

BE SURE you come back and let him out before he's finished.  Don't let him 'worry' -- and I'd arrange a succession of "special things" to give you an excuse to put him BACK in the crate after normal hours, and don't try leaving until the 3rd or 4th night.  Then only go out the door, and back in ... and do a fly by the door where the crate is and check back in with him but ***NO BIG DEAL***

You lengthen the times you're gone and continue to be inventive with the distractions but first you're getting him used to bein IN the crate when you're there.  I would also combine this with something GREAT happening ***after*** the crate.    Going out to play with a ball, going for a ride -- whatever Sammy thinks is awesome. 

FOR ME when I ask a dog to do something that's scarey or uncomfortable, that's when I drag out food.  A frozen Kong, a marrow bone, a marrow bone packed with other goodies and frozen.  If you at first keep a close ear on what he's doing so you hear if he's stopped chewing and you just do a "Hi -- you almost done?  I'll let you out in a minute". 

The other thing I'd do with him and some new activity or thing to learn -- obedience, rally, tracking -- something that he can get some serious "attaboys" at to build his confidence. 

But you don't spring "leaving" on him at first.  You ease into it and always it needs to be "no big deal". 

As you have discovered separation anxiety is very hard to extinguish.  You are doing the right thing by leaving him for just seconds.  You have the book I would recommend.  He also can sense YOUR anxiety and this of course reinforces his fear of being left alone.  Try as hard as you can to stay very calm and confident when you shut the door and as you have already read, keep your homecoming completely neutral.  We also have a similar dog and when we leave her alone (and she has gotten better but still not there yet) we don't speak when we re- enter the room or even look at her.  We wait at least fifteen minutes and she has to be completely calm before we let her out of her crate.  When we let her out we still continue to ignore her until she has gotten over the initial excitement of trying to greet us. I have found it helpful to NOT display a lot of affection to our dog.  We train and walk and play but we don't love on her and talk to her very much.  Good luck.  Sammy looks like a sweetheart.

Thanks, Callie. I appreciate the ideas, I will try to incorporate several of them just in general since they are good ideas.  I also have some comments that maybe you can help me futher with?

We already leave him a full day in the crate for work -- even if he were more happy about it, wouldn't leaving him in there in the evening as well just be way too long?  He already has a crate a couple sizes bigger than he technically "needs".  Maybe I'm putting my feelings onto him too much? 

He is good in the crate when we are there -- we had to start at this level when first introducing the crate.  We don't do it often, but he still does get put in there when we are home just for "practice". Do you think that it would be better just to keep him in a crate for ever rather than trying to train him to be out?  I just worry about being in there so many hours (total, not at once) without a real opportunity to move around all that much except when we come home and exercise him.  It's not bad on days we're just at work/school but there are times where we'd like to go shopping or out to dinner during the week and it's the SECOND crating that makes him go all wonky and chew out of his crate, for example. He was fine the first time, though, and he'd only been in there maybe 4-5 hours and we were only gone another 1-2. 

We literally went through a good portion of this just to get him used to the crate -- and, for the most part, he's good with it except the few times lately where he put up a small fuss about "going to bed" but he did go, and he was fine.  He definitely knows that in the crate it means we leave for a while, BUT we come back.  We've videotaped him for many occassions and he does lay down and sleep 80-90% of the time. He still won't eat and doesn't drink that much, though.  But, at least he's fairly calm and relaxed.

We have several Kongs and often buy marrow bones and he is a chow-hound so that's great and gives me something to work with.  He definitely doesn't eat when we are gone, so for sure food would only work if we put him in while we are home. But I see how it could make it a happied place for him.

I know your dogs are always crated when home -- do you often put them in there multiple times a day, where it might add up to 10-12 hours total?  This is what it might be, although we would obviously come home in the middle and take him out and spend time with him. It's not the first crating that is the issue -- it's just that second one.  Sigh. Do you think there is something different about the second time, other than him already being "bored" all day and again in the evening?

This all started because we were invited somewhere for the Rosh Hashana holiday tonight for dinner, but we both will be gone for ~8 hours, and we know if we come home then leave him again, it just won't work out.  He's miserable, I'm miserable for making him miserable. The relatives (with their own dog but who will be boarded for all the company coming over) totally aren't cool with Sammy coming along and hanging out in the fenced back yard, so we probably just won't go.  In the future, though, I thought perhaps it would be nice if we had that option to be able to leave him again. I just wish it wouldn't be for so long total in one day.

 I do like the idea of making the second time more special with marrow bones and kongs while we are home, perhaps eventually we can get it where he is OK with being crated twice.  I just thought it would be a whole heck of alot easier to have him be out of the crate, but he might just not be able to handle that level.

Thanks for the food for thought, it gives me some ways to think about it, and maybe not even have him be out of the crate unsupervised........