The snake mafia is out to get me... (glenda-do NOT read)

I am SO not a snake fan!

that's kind of like the time the CAT brought a snake in off the porch, and being a good kitty, he brought it to him mommy (ME!) in my BEDROOM! I went balistic - I think I ended up locking myself in the shower until it was removed. It was just a baby garden snake - BUT STILL! I don't DO snakes!

I'll see a few every now and then, but we stay out distance - doG help me, and those around me, if one ever touches me!

Hmmm, I think it's significant that all 3 of us, thus far, who have answered this are in good ole Floor-daaa!  *sigh*

I love Florida.  I HATE-LOATHE-DESPISE snakes.  "scare" isn't the right word.  I hate them SO much I blame them for being alive (and those of you who LIKE our slithery friends are now saying this woman is off her rocker and I admit that about snakes I AM).

If you're a snake and you have the sense to slither away when you see me, you may live to tell the tale to your snake-buddies.  But if you look me in the eye you are DEAD. 

Frankly, I don't care if it's a good snake, bad snake, poisonous snake, rat, corn, or whatever snake.  It WILL BE a dead snake if I have to deal with it.

I'm not proud of this -- but it's me.  If I see a snake I immediately go into a self-protect mode that is scarey.  And Heaven help me if one ever got in my house.

Redbird -- if I were you I'd have moved out.  And I am SO serious.  Outside I'm bad enough -- and 3 years ago I went toe to toe with a corn snake (and they aren't poisonous I guess) but it was doing it's little snake dance in front of my 3 dogs -- it was coiled at the bottom and had 'risen' 2 1/2 feet straight up "standing" and weaving in front of Foxy and Billy.

I looked at it and told it if it wanted to live to LEAVE NOW.  I put the dogs in the house and grabbed the only 'weapon' I had outside -- a huge janitor broom.  The snake kept trying to go into my laundry building (a free-standing building beyond my patio).  I kept telling it "NO YOU WON'T" because I knew myself well enough to know if I ever KNEW there had been a snake IN that building I'd never be able to go in there to do laundry again.

Stupid?  Yep -- but I know me and how my weird brain works.  I've lived in Florida almost 25 years now and I *Know* to watch for snakes out there.  And I do ... but it's like a 'line' I don't want to have to cross mentally.

But unless you hate/fear them the way Redbird and I do, there's no sanity when you pick up that blanket or that thing wondering if it's there.  It's very very like once your home has been 'violated' -- like if your home has been broken into or that you've been violated physically - you .  I would need SERIOUS counselling or I'd never be able to do it.

I gave that snake many chances that day to slither across the yard and disappear into the great beyond and it didn't.  I had a feeling that day that it was a female and that she had eggs either IN the laundry room or had a bolt hole THRU the laundry room to her nest behind the building.  I am not in the slightest bit proud of what I did to her that day, but it was pure 100% survival mode.

The thing that truly bothers me about MY reaction is I don't get afraid.  I get angry.  No ... it's way way beyond 'anger' -- it's almost instant killing rage when they turn around and face me.  It doesn't happen if they just slither away (then I shake and quiver for a while) -- but when they turn around and face me and stand their own ground?  Ohhh, it's sooooo not a pretty picture.

Redbird, the one thing I CAN tell you is we completely re-did our back yard.  GONE are the shrubs and hiding places.  I stripped that yard bare, took up the sod and replaced it with Floritam.  Had ALL the bushes removed (particularly in the brushy area behind the laundry building -- that is now BARE and no snake hidey holes any more.

I have only seen one snake since and I don't think he's living on our property.  I've seen him twice and in a heck of a hurry to get off the property both times.

My DH is terrified of snakes, I can take em or leave em.

Redbird, im sorry the snake mafia is out to get you, but look at it this way, your tale of woe had me belly laughing at my desk so bad I could not answer the phone, thank you for lifting my spirits!

And one more thing, I counted 3 encounters?  means you used up all the bad joo joo out there for some time.

I would run with that if I were you.

Callie, you're probably on to something with the FL connection but even when I was in NC visiting friends I came into contact with 2 snakes.  A small copperhead at the creek in their yard that my DH and friend's DH tried to find with bare hands among the rockbed!  How stupid were they!  And then walking our dogs on their acreage and some type of dusty black snake crawled out onto the small bridge across the lower end of the creek where we had left our shoes while wading.  YUCK! 

I seem to be a snake magnet and just wish they would leave me alone.  I do not hate/loathe them but do not want them on me, in my house or near me in any way, shape or form! 

BTW - I told hubby we were moving to Ireland.  He told me to start packing and I told him - just sell the house as is with everything in it and lets go!  It took 10mg of Xanax to enable me to stop crying and go back into the house the night it happened. 

Truley

And one more thing, I counted 3 encounters?  means you used up all the bad joo joo out there for some time.

Thanks - I sincerely wish I could believe that but since Fred and I say hello about once every two weeks or so the math just doesn't add up.

DH gets upset because I see him so regularly and he rarely gets to see him but I am the one who comes home everyday at lunch to let the dogs out and rotate them.  Fred and I usually nod to each other in passing (he likes to pretend to be a cobra).  At least he is not as bad as the snakes a friend had near her in Lousiana growing up.  They stand 5 feet tall on their tails and whip around at you!  SHUDDERING!  I thought she was fibbing until I googled snakes and found Coachwhips! DOUBLE YUCK! 

Oh my, I was laughing so hard at your description!!

 I am not afraid of snakes and in fact really like them.  We have killed two rattlesnakes in our yard.  I know they have an important role in keeping mice/rats under control BUT if they are in my yard they have to die.  My dogs get the rattlesnake vaccine.  When my brother had his training kennels we would have a snake proofing every August.  Many hunting dogs get bit by rattlesnakes. We would buy snakes from a local nut case who had dozens of venomous snakes in his house in cages, etc.  My job was to keep the snake immobile while my brother cut the fangs out.  We used a snare to hold the snake behind the head and I held the body with my other hand.  My brother told me the first time to be careful not to kill the snake by pulling the snare too tight.  Then he sort of corrected himself to tell me to go ahead and hold tight, better a dead rattlesnake than he gets bitten.  We never had a problem, in fact many of the poor snakes would die if a big dog stepped on them.  I have a respect for them because they are potentially dangerous but I also got to see first hand that they are not aggressive and just want to escape from us.  We always released the snakes after the seminar (not near the kennels). Hopefully they survived their encounter with all the dogs, I'm sure the snakes were glad to get away from us.

Maybe you could get a barn cat to keep the population down of any mice/rats that are attracting the snakes.

JackieG

Maybe you could get a barn cat to keep the population down of any mice/rats that are attracting the snakes.

First I need a barn LOL! No problem here with mice/rats. Lots of lizards and DD and I counted 8 tree frogs one night! COOL - I like looking but do not want to touch.

I do have a cat in addition to the 3 dogs so the snake had to be mentally ill to slither into MY house!  Since I live in the city I cannot have an outside kitty or it would become a pancake kitty. 

Oh your description had me laughing, but I soooo understand the terror!  And, you had to know if you told me NOT to read, I would!  But, I do appreciate your thoughtfulness. 

The truly odd thing is that when I lived in the deep south I didn't ever SEE a single snake.  Now I live wayyyy up north in Michigan of all places and they torment me.

I'm so very sorry the snake mafia is taking a turn on you now.  Maybe pray to St Patrick and light a zillion candles to him?  I've been told that spreading lime around the property line will keep them away, but I've never tried it.  I threatened many time when we lived in the country to find myself a mongoose.........

 I like little harmless snakes, but big scary mean/poisonous ones - no thanks.  On the way back to the apt from the new house a few nights ago I almost hit a snake on the road (it looked like a big stick so I slowed down and in the process missed hitting it); a few seconds after I had driven by it registered that the snake had the coloring of a copperhead! ICK!

Garter or rat snakes = nice/cool

Copperheads and their ilk = EWWWWWWW!

In my young days I did primitive camping.  With a little care one can usually avoid the snakes (venomous or not) since they actually want nothing to do with people.  I was much more concerned about the bears. 

Florida only has 6 species of venomous snakes.  Texas has 15. 

Texas (http://www.texas-venomous.com/speciesindex.html):

• rattlesnakes - 10 species
• coral snake - 1 species
• copperhead - 3 species
• cottonmouth - 1 species

Florida (http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/uw229):

• rattlesnakes - 3 species
• coral snake - 1 species
• copperhead - 1 species
• cottonmouth - 1 species

All venomous snakes in North America - other than the coral snake - are pit vipers, which have some characteristics in common.  All have shallow pits on the sides of their heads (heat-sensing organs) and all have vertically-oriented slitlike (or cat-like) pupils.  Snakes which are not poisonous possess a round pupil in the center of the eye.

Remember "Red and yellow kill a fellow" for identifying coral snakes.  That way you can leave the useful king snakes (similar coloration) alone.  If the red bands touch the yellow bands, you have a coral snake. 

 I actually read a book on snakes of this area just in case I was ever to encounter one.  I love non-poisonous snakes but have nightmeres about the posionous ones.  It is great to know the diference.  It also told me how docile the snakes were if I needed to pick ip up and move it or make sure Maggie didn't get near it.  Of course, Maggie is scared of snakes, so that helps in that area.

Sounds like you need to talk to Fred.  Tell him if he wants to keep living in your bushes he needs to patrol your yard better and keep the other snakies out.

 I guess you could say I like snakes.  Heh, when I was a little kid, I even had an imaginary pet King Cobra named Snakey.  Actually speaking of snakes, when I was in the petstore getting cat food I had to stop and coo at their tank of baby corn snakes.  X3

Have you thought about getting a little closer to your snake kin?  Perhaps it is time to meet some pet snakes in person and maybe hold one.  While it is good to have a healthy dose of respect for snakes, especially the poisonous ones, being afraid to walk in your own home must be exhausting.

I have decided I must be the reincarnation of Medusa (since DH says I look like her in the morning sometimes).  Went home just now to let the puppers out and who greeted me in the backyard but Fred, Jr. (Too small to be Fred).  Neither dog paid attention to him - they were more interested in the guy in the neighbor's tree trimming it.  At first I was going to ignore him but he lunged at Bandit when he ran past him.  Good ol' dopey Bandit didn't even notice until about 25 feet later when he stopped and turned around like "What was that?"  Called him in and get them situated and then went back outside to discourage Fred, Jr. from staying around.  I pick up a frisbee and let it fly - it landed about a foot past him but can you believe that bugger tried to catch it mid-flight!  GAWD! I can't get my dogs to catch it but a snake will! 

Would someone please tell the universe I got the message but due to lack of coordination I refuse to be a snake wrangler!

I do not like them in the bush, I do not like them near my tush, I do not like them on the ground, I do not like them all around! 

(To the tune of Green Eggs and Ham).

rredbird

I do not like them in the bush, I do not like them near my tush, I do not like them on the ground, I do not like them all around! 

(To the tune of Green Eggs and Ham).

You almost had me on the floor with this. Very witty, and glad your keeping your sense of humor.

There is a reason they are hanging out around your house, you....erm...I mean your husband, should find their food and water source and destroy or move it.