Richs plea website

Julie, I hope you know what a truly amazing and selfless thing you've done by setting up this site.  We have some young teen forum members who may have just started smoking, or may be thinking about it. Back in 1998 my late DH had to have a quadruple bypass.  His cardiologist asked him if he was a smoker and he told her he hadn't smoked in a little over 30 years.  Then she asked if he had ever smoked and for how long, and he told her he had smoked for the 20 years he was in the Navy.  She then told him that the 20 years of smoking is what caused the arterial damage that led to the bypass. My oldest DS (now 37) also started smoking when he was 14.  He just bought his first box of Nicorette gum and is making a real effort to quit. He has gone five days now without a cig. The gum is pretty expensive ($45 a box) so I told him I'd split it with him and buy every other box. I think when he comes home from work, I'm going to log on and show him your site.  Thanks again for what you've done.

Joyce

Julie -- David and I are both former smokers.  One of the promises we made to each other before we got married was that neither of us would ever start smoking again.

It's such an 'everybody does it' thing ... it's social (careers are made and broken in the "Smoking Circle" of folks who cluster together -- it's the great "uniter" -- far more so than race, color, creed or religion!).  But it is so destructive. 

Part of what makes it so difficult to quit is the way the body clings to it for stress relief and the social thing that prods people to start and to continue.

With this website you will break open those lies -- many young people say "so what, I'm going to die of SOME thing!" -- but there is death and then there is he-ll on earth.  This isn't a way to die -- this is a way to ruin your life and someone elses ... you don't 'die' from cigarettes -- you linger in pain and agony, you get cancer and get sicker than you ever thought you could get, but you live long enough to regret every moment.

I don't want to die that way -- and I won't because I quit.  I may not be able to say 'how' I will die -- but I ***can*** say how I will NOT die.

Julie, thank you for taking the time and energy to work on the website.  I've never smoked, but have seen what it has done firsthand.  I am trying not to cry after reading your journal (I am at work, bad me), and it is very hard.  I cry for you, for my son, and all the others who have lost people due to this horrendous addiction.  Short of animal abuse, nothing gets me worked up more than the rationalization smokers use to "justify" their addiction.  I don't get it.  And I don't mean to offend - I really have no understanding because I don't smoke.  I do hope that at least one life is impacted by reading "Rich's Plea" and if one person decides that smoking isn't such a good idea, maybe others will eventually follow.  Take care of yourself.

Julie, thank you for sharing that.  I have been thinking about you lately and so glad to see you are hanging in there.  I have read pieces of it as I followed your posts through Rich's battle but putting it all together makes an even bigger impact.  I smoked for a year when I was in college and felt so guilty every single time I lit up that I quit.  It was hard then to quit so I can only imagine how hard it is when you have done it for any longer.  I lost my father in law to pancreatic cancer which was caused by 30 years of smoking and although it only took him 2 months from the time we found out to pass on, it was the most excruciationg 2 months of my life.  I have many times felt guilty b/c even though I visited him often and saw what was going on, I wasn't as strong as you when it came to the very end and I will never forgive myself.  I am glad that my husband and his brother had each other and were there with him when he died so he was not alone.  I also prayed for his passing.  It sounds so horrible but until you have been there and watched someone you love so much suffer so terribly, that is all you can hope for.  Take care of yourself and stay strong. 

I should show that to my dad.  My mom says he has already been given "two free passes."  He's had a large tumor (rather serious operation) removed from his neck under his ear and also had a small benign lump removed from his back.  My dad 53 but he had that surgery over 10 years ago.  He also got pneumonia when he broke his ribs due to the condition of his lungs from smoking.  We have always been on him about quitting because all but one of his friends has, and now that he's over 50 my mom is going from annoying to really pissed off because we know he's going to get his come-uppance, having smoked since he was 14. 

Julie - What a wonderful tribute to Rich and a great way to try to reach others who can benefit from his message. I passed it on to my dearest friend and hope that it will inspire her to quit. She and I talk all the time about not being afraid of dying so much as the pain and suffering that sometimes precedes it.

I was a smoker for many years and it was finding out that a coworker who was only in his mid-40s would need to be on oxygen for the rest of his life that gave me the wake-up call that I needed. I struggled with quitting for some time but haven't touched a cigarette in over 10 yrs. I do still use the nicotine gum when I'm under stress, but never, ever will I go back to lighting a cigarette. If I could do it, I know others can too.

Thank you for selflessly sharing this story and I have no doubt that it will serve a purpose in helping others make the important step to quit. No one needs to do it alone or without help. There are so many aides (gum, patches, lozenges, Chantix)  available now to help.

I'm dumbfounded, I don't know the words to to describe what you have written.  It's wonderful, I hope it's cathartic for you I hope it will allow you to sort out mixture of emotions.

I smoked but gave it up years ago, I can't tell you how I loath smoking now.  Last month I lost a friend to lung cancer, it metastasized to his brain.  He went through the surgery, chemo, radio... He went through hell.  BUT, he continued to smoke, "What's it going to do kill me" if he would have stopped it could have bought him time, what was the sense.  "I'm surprised you gave up drinking I said" "I like my beer hon but I like living better" then why not QUIT smoking......... I wanted to ring his neck, he never even cut down, visit him, it was like being in a smoke house.

His attitude remained strong.  I saw him at the grocery store, he looked great, wonderful.  I called two weeks later to find that he had died.

Your post truly hit home.  I know I get angry at times, very angry.  I have one of his belts here, I picked it up, and you could smell the smoke, it wreaked.  I will not understand this.

I know it's an addiction, I truly do, I just, don't understand.  This is killing the very people we love. 

I had a service man light up in my house shortly after this happen, I went through the roof. 

I sincerely wish you the best.  Please don't light up, drink juice, brush your teeth, whatever it takes. 

Your site hits home with anyone who's lost a loved one to cancer caused by smoking.  I lost my dad back in 2001 to lung cancer and I STILL expect to get a call from him or see him soon.  A month from diagnosis to burying him wasn't long enough to process his loss, especially when he was doing so good and we were fully intending to bring him home.  I guess in hind sight, at least he didn't really suffer.  Rich's story was heartbreaking and I wish you continued success in being smoke free.

I was beyond angry when my dad was in the ICU post-surgery and my uncle - who is a chain smoker - would gripe that it's the surgery that's killing my dad.  Excuse me?  He wouldn't have needed the surgery to remove his tumor-filled lung if he didn't get bloody cancer from smoking f!#$%#$ cigarettes!  Denial, it's a powerful thing.

As Callie mentioned, I get so furious when someone says "well, we're all going to die some how."  It's one thing to die in a car accident, it's quite another to INVITE death into your life by purposefully ignoring warnings on cig packs.

scrubsfiend

As Callie mentioned, I get so furious when someone says "well, we're all going to die some how."  It's one thing to die in a car accident, it's quite another to INVITE death into your life by purposefully ignoring warnings on cig packs.

I too hate this response.  I usually ask why they don't stand in front of a MAC truck to see if it will stop ...We're all going to die some how.