I am NOT a nice person....

    • Gold Top Dog

    I am NOT a nice person....

     

    • Gold Top Dog

    It's ok, im not either.

    • Gold Top Dog

    Why not?

    Deb W.

    • Gold Top Dog

    *sends a toddler kiss (and hug!) blown across country, along with a cardigan corgi lick* 

    • Gold Top Dog

    Welcome to the club!  Sit down and have yourself a beer!

    • Gold Top Dog

    sorry I did that wrong but my statement stands.   I am not a nice person.  I struggled to put 3 of my grands in preschool , and have kept them in a decent little local school ever since.   Thier MOMs both went to this school and The Hubs and I helped fundraise the air conditioners,playground equipment, bought books for the school for every family event or holiday  ie kid has a birthday ...school gets some new books too.... We buy extra supplies and uniforms every year ...... We show up early and paint , clean and set up..... But my 4 year old has 22 kids in front of her to get into school.... She was the only Blue eyed blonde tring to get in.  We were the 3thd family to show up.  She has speech thereapy and a hearing impairment but since her home language is English she is not considered an at need child. There are 4 pre K classes.  My other two grandkids who got in have the last name of Rivera...so what they are blonde and red heads.....

    I'm sorry and I am not proud of what I am feeling.I have paid through the ears to help and have been semi bilingual for most of my life...but my little one will be sitting it out unless G'ma figures out how to get her in one of the private day cares that may be worth a hoot.  Which locally means Church type school weather you agree with the specific doctrine or not.....

    I am a bit distressed over all of this,   My kids deserve every bit as good a chance as children who migrate in and out , who's folks are in limbo as to thier status as citizens and who's parents haven't paid taxes

    grump grump grump \

    Bonita of Bwana

    • Gold Top Dog

    OK  you need to check out eligibility under IDEA IA   (Individuals with Disabilities Eduation Act, Improvement and reauthorization; preschool for kids with disabilities).  It is a free service and eligible kids must be identified and supported. Might not be the best available, but it might offer some support.  Start with the local public school district.

    • Gold Top Dog

    Would you fall under Head Start guidelines?  It would be better than sending her to a church school that you didn't agree with.

    • Gold Top Dog

    Bonita, you ARE a nice person and I don't think you're being one bit unreasonable.  I thought most schools would give a "leg up" to kids who had older siblings or parents that went to the same school. No? If she has hearing/speech problems, she's just as deserving of the special ed that everyone else is ... unless they're enrolling based on ethnicity ... and as far as I know, that's not legal.

    Joyce

    • Gold Top Dog

     

    Welcome to the club.......

        let me know if you need a hug, after all us not nice people have to look out for each other

    • Gold Top Dog

    Rural Alabama does not have a even moderatley funded Head Start program. As long as English is the primary language they drop significantly on the need chart.  After Hurricane Katrina we were flooded by folks who lost their homes. My family went to everyone we knew and even raised funds at dog shows to help the "new kids" get uniforms and supplies.   The thing is while All of us felt tremendous sympathy for the famlies who had lost everything... the families who had come to our community to help with the rebuilding brought children too.   Kids who spoke little or no English, Kids with one major perk, they had been born in our country, the parents had not but the kids had..... Often the kids speak English better than the parent.

    I really do not begrudge anyone having a chance to improve thier lives. I applaud the desire to become educated and to learn how to build a new life and world...... But dang it all, My children and grandkids were born here . They are being raised to give back to the community , they are being taught to love others.  I fund raise and do every extra hour I can helping families assimulate and have a life that all of us would enjoy. I bring my dogs to the school to allow kids to read to them, I encourage them to feel comfortable and welcomed.   Racial remarks and attitudes have long been banned among my friends and family  , you would not want to be one of my kids had I heard you use words that others find just one more adjective or one more cultural phrase.  And I have made sure friends who are older and use this as an excuse understand if they use certain words around me all bets are off....

    I vote my concious and I challenge the people who I think are small minded and not interested in seeing the success of others.  But As I said I am Not A Good Person today.  I am angry , not annoyed , but ANGRY.  I have covered all the costs of my grandkid's care far above and beyond what we had to. We have kept them together making sure the expenses of my children's  children did not fall on the community.  We are NOT wealthy. Heck right now we are scraping to get by.  I do use govermental assistance to cover medical bills but not anything else.  I had sent my two daughters to Catholic school for a year , it was a great experience for them.  Even IF I could afford it ....they are all full from the deluge of kids who actually are Catholic. ...apparently they deserve the experience and educational opportunities offered to them more than my kids.

    SO Do I close my check book and refuse to work side by side with the folks trying to make a better home ?  DO I try to ignore the fact that my incredibly intelligent grandchild must depend on G'ma to make sure she, like her sibling and cousins, will be far better prepared and challenged ? BECAUSE G'ma makes it so??

    Do I just go ahead with the concept that things are simply not easy, that  it is not always fair.... That sometimes despite my entire life thinking that "Right made right"???   It does not.

    If I was as Nice a person as I had always thought then I would shrug and take on yet another scout troup, baseball team or more time reading to kids at the library because the parents barely speak our language let alone read it.... But I don't think I am that nice.  Not right now. Instead  I borrowed your shoulders and cyber ears and vented. Admited to how rotten I am at the moment and will begine to figure out new ideas..... My kids will not do without. They will not have less than they need. I will just have to be creative and Thankfully I have never had difficulty thinkig outside the box !!

    Number One Priority this summer??? Everyone will start Spanish lessons.  From 3 to 8 yrs , by next school year they willl all have a leg up..... I do not know how and why the world works for them the way it does.... but we will have a heck of a summer !!

    My babies will not suffer for G'ma being less nice than my ego had always assured me I was. In fact they may have some adventures they would not have had

    Bonita of Bwana

    • Gold Top Dog

     Bonita, that sucks. Everything you do for them, and they're not going to take you're grand daughter. Perhaps a nice letter to the school, detailing what you've done for the school, and that your other grandchildren went their, would be helpful in this case. Maybe not, but maybe it would help get her moved up the list.

    • Gold Top Dog

     Bonita, the fact that you don't like feeling used or taken advantage of or that you don't like seeing your kids/grandkids get the short end of the stick doesn't mean that you're not a nice person.  Most of us would feel the same way you do - royally pi$$ed.  I know I would.

    Joyce

    • Gold Top Dog

    Bonita of Bwana

    Do I just go ahead with the concept that things are simply not easy, that  it is not always fair.... That sometimes despite my entire life thinking that "Right made right"???   It does not.

    If I was as Nice a person as I had always thought then I would shrug and take on yet another scout troup, baseball team or more time reading to kids at the library because the parents barely speak our language let alone read it.... But I don't think I am that nice.  Not right now. Instead  I borrowed your shoulders and cyber ears and vented. Admited to how rotten I am at the moment and will begine to figure out new ideas.....

     

    D*** straight. Life is not fair. Right doesn't make right .... it makes falling asleep more pleasant, knowing that you are doing the best you can. I *know* that you do what you do out of a genuine concern to help others, and not because you think there is a payback for you. Doesn't make it feel better when your family gets shafted, of course.

    Nice people get mad. They have unkind thoughts. Even racist thoughts. Oh, the R word. But people of all colors, good and wonderful people, have the occasional racist thought. I'm going to guess that even the Dalai Lama has had a flicker of a thought about the Chinese float through his head. Nice People are not Perfect People, and Perfect People are Liars.

    Nice people do what you have done - they get angry, they acknowledge having uncharitable thoughts, and when anger has had time to fade they go on doing nice things, because doing nice things is the way they want to live. Not Very Nice people store up grudges, and withdraw into their own family and friends. Mean People act out against others.

    You are much better than perfect, Bonita. You are HONEST.
     

    • Gold Top Dog

    One of my sisters keeps saying that she is "not as nice" as she used to be.  I keep telling her that she is not "not nice" - she is just more assertive and stands up for herself.  She used to let people walk all over her.

    Hurray for being more asssertive!!    You have every right to fight for what you want with every legal means possible.