When Does It Stop!!!!!!!!!

my condolences on your loss, rosered. I am so sorry things are not going well and I hope they will improve for you and yours.

 You have my condolences as well.  I hope things start to look better for you soon too.

I Hear ya girl ,I hear ya !!  Only 10 years older and between the two of us we could write a soap opera !! Everything would be honest to gosh true but Dang !!!  I am here if you want some one to vent to , PM me and we can dish dirt on the rest of the world it it makes you feel better or Even better we can simply fiond the bizzare humor in life at this moment in time !!

Bonita of Bbwana

 Having just lost my hubby a month ago, I took one of the steepest curves that the roller coaster has to give.  No, you can't cover your eyes, you have to keep them wide open, you wait and wait for the steam to blow away, and then you try to pick up the pieces for yourself, because you are still here.  And somehow, you know you will make it through. Not today, not tomorrow, but sometime...

Many years ago, my MIL had her home burglarized while they were at work, and I remember how violated she felt then.  When it happened a second time, they sold the house and moved into an apartment.  No, it shouldn't happen, but it does...many times every day.  It hurts when it happens to us, and I sympathize with your feelings for sure.  Sending hugs your way, and hopes that tomorrow will bring a little more sunshine to your day! 

I too sympathize.  I am 17 years older than you, but i have lost both parents, two cousins, my maternal grandparents (the paternal pair passed before I knew them), and 5 uncles.  My house has been broken into twice.  Two different cars have been broken into.  My purse has been stolen twice.  My stolen driver's license was used to rent two U-Haul trucks and to get drugs at emergency rooms.  Before I got a house, I was once held up at knife point a few feet from my apartment door.  My marriage ended after 8 years.

I look at it this way.  If there are no downs, you don't fully appreciate the ups.  If there is no pain, you don't fully appreciate the joy.  If you never lose anything, you don't fully appreciate what you have.  The pain from life's experiences fades with time, but the knowledge and strength gained remains.

I now know better how to protect my possessions.  I know to always trust the little "feeling" in my gut that tells me to beware (even if I might embarrass myself).  I value more highly the time I spend with family.

I have learned not to bottle up my emotions.  I can tell my family members that I love them and give them a hug (whether they like it or not  ;).

The trials that I have faced in life (both voluntary and involuntary) have helped to shape who I am.  They have made me stronger and able to calmly handle more types of situations.  They have helped me to learn to read people better and to deal with confrontation better.

The voluntary trials have included pushing myself past my comfort zone.  I have traveled alone to Europe and Australia many times.  I stopped a possible shooting by playing "mother" and yelling at both the gunman and the other party.  I have done unarmed security work in very emotionally charged, volatile situations.

My younger sisters think that I take too many risks and must have an angel on my shoulder.  One won't leave her home by herself after dark and the other is so skittish that a small practical joke resulted in a scream that her whole office heard.  Thanks, but I prefer my life - even if it turns out to be shorter than theirs.

Except for ignoring my gut a couple of times, not spending more time with family, not establishing a better relationship with my dad, and not doing a better job of controlling my weight, there isn't much I would do differently.  Even my marriage with all its pain taught me so much that I do not regret it.

I wish you a period of calm in your life to recharge before you resume facing more of life's trials and learning experiences.  I also wish you the strength to handle whatever life hands you.

 The rollercoaster sucks here, too.  My parents are gone, I was divorced after 20 years, I am an only child, and my closest relatives, cousins, live in four different states, only one of them here.  My boyfriend of fifteen years is dying of liver disease, and I hate my day job.  But, I am a survivor and I have always managed to keep my animals, even when my hubby left and I had no job, and a big feed bill - that's when I learned to drive those big ole large cars LOL.  Chin up, my dear.  At least you got a bit of a chuckle over that stupid thief trying to work the radio with out the controls...it'll get better, and if it doesn't, go eat some brownies or a banana split.  You'd be entitled.

spiritdogs

it'll get better, and if it doesn't, go eat some brownies or a banana split.  You'd be entitled.

You are a bad influence!  Now you have me craving some ice cream! 

Well, I think struggles are a part of life.  Maybe you can avoid them until you are ten, twenty, or older, but sooner or later they will come.  A sad view for a 18 year old, but that is how life is.  I think it is how we handle both the ups and the downs that make us who we are.

Between 13 and now probably 10 people I have been close with, or close with their family have died, including my best friend. There was a time in my life when I didn't believe that there was such thing as a calm, smooth life and if things were going smoothly, something bad was bound to happen soon.  I would love to say I no longer believe that, but I don't want to jinx it.  My pastor say you are either coming out of a struggle, in middle of one, or one is coming your way.  I don't think that it is your belief that struggles will come that makes you a pessimist, but how you act when they do come, because though I don't sound like it here, I am very much an optimist. 

However, the struggles taught me a lot.  They taught me that we need to hold on to love, because the person may not be there forever.  To cherish the moments you have with a person.  They taught me that everyone lets you down, except God, and that he will be there even when you turn you back on him.  But when I look back on those years, I also see a lot of happiness and joy coming out of them.  It is something I will never forget.  I saw people cope with unbelievable circumstances and come through a better person. I saw forgiveness and love spring through the hard ground of murder.  That is tough to beat. It is indescribable the things I have seen.  Emery wrote a song.  In it, it said "In my memory I wrote you down in ink, I never wanted to erase your story, even with a tragedy."  That has become my view on life.  Although we may not like when someone leaves us, it is better to have the memories than to live our lives alone.   My other motto is "Hurt people hurt people." Pithy, but true. 

I do not believe we can ever come away unhurt from bad things, the question is: will they leave us scarred, or will they carve us into something beautiful?
 

I am soooooo understanding you guys but feel a bit like a fraud cause I am only 24 my roller coaster ride has just started, I am sure there is more to come but it is insirping to see others enduring problems and losses and still making it happen. I am sure every single one of you is pretty happy on a whole but has just has some cr@p along the way.

I have been thru some BS lately house broken into, broke up with long term bf, having money issues, single, lots of animals & having more living expenses = broke  but *touch wood* haven't buried anyone I feel for those that have lost loved ones. But I guess you have to try to look to the positive side of life and just focus on that, whether it be your dog, other pets, a sport go for it and enjoy life.

rosered66

The funeral was yesterday and it was so hard to get through it.

I hope you are soon able to remember your cousin more with fond memories than with pain.

Be gentle with yourself!

Aww. Where is the hug smiley when you need it?

I understand, hon. This past year has been rough for me too. In January, I lost my heart dog, Daisy. She was my world. Just 2 months after she passed away, I lost another pup, and he was only 5 months old from liver disease. And I got rear-ended and my car had to be in the shop for 6 months and I still have back/neck pain from it.

 Oh, and I won't see the love of my life for 6-8 months, because he joined the Army, and he'll probably be shipped to the sandbox of Iraq soon too.

 
Chin up, know this will pass, and it will all be okay. Eventually. Just take time for yourself, it's okay to cry and feel sorry for yourself, but know not to do it all the time, because that can be unhealthy (speaking from experience)

Struggling sucks, this sucks. PM me if you need to vent, I totally understand.
 

thedoc617

Aww. Where is the hug smiley when you need it?

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