Dog Community

Dang some days... :0(

Posted : 5/22/2008 1:55:41 PM

So Yesterday I was pretty ill and went to the doctor, despite the loss of even more weight recently My BP is off the charts. Fine we started some meds for that, For the first time ever my cholesterol is up...yep another pill for that , xrays and labs and I went home to cuddle with my girl and get much needed sleep. This am I was feeling a tad better even though the first phone call was to tell me they now believe I am diabetic...gee thanks guys I have an appt this afternoon to get stuff started for this new adventure... BUT the phone call from the vet about crushed the breath from my body. Jasmine's surgery was almost two weeks ago. The Lab just came in on the chest tumor. IT is an aggressive cancer, the tech who tried to read it to me was in tears, I sent my daughter to pick up the report when she gets the kids ( today is the last day of school for the older 3) she should be home in the next hour with the kids and the report and I will then shoot out the door for the appt with the doctor about my labs and the diabetic counseling.

I can not focus, I can not think...I just feel numb. I would take on anything the Universe would allow me to to prevent her from feeling even the smallest amount of discomfort. If the report as the tech tried to read it is what I expect..... the calendar has gone from hoping for another year or two to at best weeks. She will be 13 years old on June 17th. I have been having issues with the whole "God" thing for a while ...isn't he supposed to be loving and caring? Isn't he suppposed to reward folks who have tried to live by the "rules"? This feels like the straw that may break the camel's back... It isn't suppposed to be this way , not for her.

I do not expect anyone to have an answer for me, I just appreciate being able to put this pain out in the Universe and hoping that I can find the energy to take another breathe and to clear the clutter and pain that is fogging my thoughts. She just walked up to me as I typed this and grinned. No one has ever, understood me as she does, If I could have two things right now I would ask for #1 this to be a really awful dream !

#2 The grace and stregnth my girl has, her elegance has always awed me, I could never measure up .

Bonita of Bwana Broken Heart

rredbird

Posted : 5/22/2008 2:23:53 PM

I am so sorry for all you are having to face. ((((((((hugs)))))))

pofi_pasquale

Posted : 5/22/2008 2:26:45 PM

I am so sorry you have been delivered such crushing news - your own health issues and this very devastating news about Jasmine. I was there myself just 3 months ago when we found Iggy cat's tumor and then determined it was very aggressive and inoperable. And he remained good natured and my sweet, sunny boy through to the last moment, despite the indignities that came with the disease.

All I can offer you is that I know precisely how you are feeling...and offer my support and understanding.

CoBuHe

Posted : 5/22/2008 2:30:15 PM

Good grief, you have had a day, havent' you? I'm a big believer that we go through life being constantly tested. I keep telling myself and others that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. But, I hear ya...sometimes it gets piled on high. Even so, our God and Goddess Wink Mother God are loving and caring...you know that deep in your heart

Your girl felt your energy and wanted to give you some consolement...what a sweetheart. 13 years and a good long life and she loves you as much as you love her. Yes, they are stronger than us...its true.

My love, Cody made it to 13 and was the strongest, loving individual at my house. And, proved that until the day she left this earth. Broken Heart

I am glad you journal to get it out and on "paper"...it helps to clear the fog.

Vibes of strength, healing and positive energy coming your way.

JackieG

Posted : 5/22/2008 2:50:37 PM

Words can't express how sorry I am for your terrible news about Jasmine. No matter how many dogs we lose it never gets easier.

gradyupmybutt

Posted : 5/22/2008 3:10:33 PM

All I can do is (((HUGS))). I'm so sorry. Make everyday count with her.

calliecritturs

Posted : 5/22/2008 3:35:02 PM

Will write more tonight after I get home, cos I'm at work.

Remember there are never any guarantees for any of us beyond this moment. Sickness takes its place along side accidents, freaks of nature and anything and everything else that can claim a life. None of it is ever fair or easy -- it's just hard.

That's not a slap, Bonita -- that's just a reminder that no entity nor religion nor doctor nor NO ONE ever promises longevity. Not if they're truth. Look at today's headlines -- even that adopted child of Steven Curtis Chapman's who got hit in such a tragic accident by her own brother ... the only consolation for any is that she's in an angel's arms and she'll never hurt again.

Don't ask yourself questions that have no answers -- that way lies depression and confusion and anger. Instead go sit and marvel at the size of the moon tonight -- it has been THE biggest moon David and I have ever seen for the last three nights. Last night was 'full' I think so it will begin to wane tonight but as you see the stars think on how many years that light has been getting here to our small planet. And you and Jas can share that one moment in time -- perfect and together. Make another memory Bonita.

And then ... make another. And ... another. As many as you can make in the coming days. Because she'll get beyond Rainbow Bridge and have those memories to hold her til you're together again. And you'll have YOUR memories ...

and reach out and grab my hand ... and anyone else's ... we're here as you need.

We can only do the best for today.

rwbeagles

Posted : 5/22/2008 4:02:45 PM

I am very sorry to hear about your girl's diagnosis, and the resultant outlook. ((hug))

micksmom

Posted : 5/22/2008 4:12:05 PM

I have no "words of wisdom", just lots and lots of ((((hugs)))).

cakana

Posted : 5/22/2008 4:26:48 PM

I remember getting a call like that about our lab, Jake, except it was nasal cancer and he was only 8. It was heartbreaking and other than wishing it hadn't happened, I wish I'd had the people on this forum to help me thru it. We're all here for you to lean on. {{{HUGS}}}

akyramoto82

Posted : 5/22/2008 4:47:19 PM

Crying

hugs.....

Infiniti

Posted : 5/22/2008 5:54:21 PM

You're getting all the support and hugs from everyone in my house, furry or otherwise. I'm so sorry about your own health problems and Jasmine's diagnosis. It sounds as if she has the same type of chest tumor that I lost my collie Sadi to. The time in between diagnosis and her passing was excruciatingly quick, but we spent every moment together that we could, so I am fortunate to have even more good memories to cherish. Spend all the time with Jasmine that you can, and I'm sure that she will be welcomed at the Rainbow Bridge by many other good and faithful pets.

lorib

Posted : 5/22/2008 7:15:29 PM

Oh man, what a day. Hugs for all of you. I will be sending positive thoughts your way.

DrOgreys

Posted : 5/22/2008 7:47:55 PM

>If I could have two things right now I would ask for #1 this to be a really awful dream !#2 The grace and stregnth my girl has, her elegance has always awed me, I could never measure up .

Bonita of Bwana Broken Heart <

Well, you already know that #1 is beyond your reach. #2 however is one you can still strive for.

Please remember~ the "lesser" creatures live only for the moment; a lesson we should, but cannot learn. I do grief counseling, thus I can attest to this.

Be well... and may Jasmine have only pain-free days. I am sure you will see to that.

mrstjohnson

Posted : 5/22/2008 8:02:39 PM

I am so sorry {{{hugs}}}