Hormonal or not, some people just plain never think or feel as deeply as others. They just aren't wired that way -- and sometimes people like that have a tough time staying in a relationship and have a tough time dealing with an animal. Because their whole life goes to heck in a handbasket -- often they blame everything on menopause or some 'thing' because ... well, just because.
Some of us were reared to have more basic drive. Part of that is genetic, a large, huge, enormous part of it is how you were taught to function or how you *learned* to function.
I didn't grow up in a warm, fuzzy kind of place ... my mother is, to this day, quite violent and difficult to get along with. Today you would say I grew up in an abusive atmosphere. But frankly -- lots had it lots lots LOTS worse than I did. and ... I got hard, and I learned to be driven even when I didn't 'feel' like it. So, in a real sense, she may have been abusive, but it has served me well.
But, altho I'm not that way, I think it's too easy for some people to just whine and 'discuss' things with others ad nauseum. I'd like to think "good, maybe a shocking post made her think!" -- but in reality? It probably didn't. Because people like that tend to seek their own level -- and let's just hope the dog finds a better home.
There's a delicate balance sometimes in dealing with someone like that who is majorly depressed -- and an internet forum may not be the best place for her, unless someone takes a personal interest in her, takes it privately and says "Hon, you really need to get hold of yourself -- you may feel depressed but your poor dog *needs* you to care right now ... to go get out no matter how bad you feel ..."
will she/would she listen? Probably not. In my experience, when you come down hard on someone it doesn't do much good. If you cause them to draw back and put their hands over their eyes/ears they aren't going to listen. Maybe to a lesson that is vital ... for them and the dog.
I know how *I* react when someone blasts me ... it punches all the wrong buttons with *me*. It's happened lately .. more than once. It's done deliberately and with purpose because this person thinks they're going to 'teach me a lesson' -- and all it makes me want to do is turn my back on the entire forum ... because of one person.
There's a fine line between venting and making someone see sense. It's such a fine line I don't think I can even 'say' in words how to go about it.
But I guess my point is we have to evaluate *why* we say what we do. How much is it really going to benefit the person with the problem? Will they listen? Will they be receptive? Is it said in a way that they **can** receive it and process it?
Or are we saying what we say out of pure anger and our own reaction?
My mother ... absolutely un-disputed Queen of the Nasty Name -- a woman who can wound with words quicker than a wasp will sting -- did have a saying that I learned young and decided was wisdom.
"If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all" -- that doesn't mean to always be sweet and sugar-coated. You can be constructive ... and still say it in a nice way. If you have to say it in anger -- post it later.
Does that make sense? But often -- particularly when someone's trying to goad me, or when someone is just posting such absolute nonsense that I want to shake them ... I just plain walk away. It's time to play solitare for a while. At least it is for me.
Susan, I so understand what you're saying -- because I, personally, would never be the type to just not "do" a thing like that -- if the dog is lost you look for it, no matter how bad you feel (man, one time I went looking for a dog when I had the intestinal flu so bad I had to stop every half a block and puke out the car door, and then stop shaking so I could drive -- but I kept looking for him!)
But as dysfucntional a family as *I* come from ... I know others came from worse, and others may not have learned their lessons yet. So then, I guess - at least for me -- the most constructive thing I can do is get on my knees (yeah even if it's not the 'norm' for me), . At lease I won't say anything flamable that way. *sigh*