Assistant Update - Day #3 at the end...(mrstjohnson)

I'll agree with the document everything. The things she is saying she wont touch are fishy. It might be an american with disabilities act case. we had that happen here. Next thing you know she will need the hot water and unicorns up as her "reasonable" accomodation.

mrstjohnson

We also hired another new person that will be starting next week.  When I told her, she was less than thrilled. 

Wow, and a pleasant attitude to boot!  /snark

I need a little more to paint a mental picture here Lisa.  So is she morbidly obese but wearing some form of spandex everyday?  Any body odor problems?  Still wear hair in pigtails?  How about gross display of cleavage? 

SalemsMom

 The things she is saying she wont touch are fishy.

Hmm.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  OT, but one day Maury Povich had a woman on his show who was terrified,  totally petrified out of her mind of ..... Jello.  Ran screaming from the stage when someone walked out with a small cup of it.  Wait!!  Light bulb going on here.  Any chance you could find out if she has any irrational fears?

Joyce

g33

I need a little more to paint a mental picture here Lisa.  So is she morbidly obese but wearing some form of spandex everyday?  Any body odor problems?  Still wear hair in pigtails?  How about gross display of cleavage? 

OK here's the description...I hope this doesn't sound too snotty, but you all "know" me so here goes:

Height:  5ft 5in

Hair:  Not the cleanest.  I don't know if its a function of the orangish ting or what.  It's up in one of those bear claws today which is fine, but if you do wear your hair like that, make sure that it is either up or down - not is in some in between stage that looks like you just woke up.

Clothes:  Yesterday was the plaid pants, today is black pants and a very bright flowered shirt

Weight:  I would say medium sized.  Not skinny but not morbidly obese or anything.  I used to say mom size (that was before I became a mom though) and that basically means "soft and smooshy" - because that's how my mom is

Shoes:  Think nursing shoes but black - if she starts wearing sandals with black socks I am jumping out of the window!

Purse:  HUGE and pink with a unicorn on it

I spoke with my divisional head that hired her and read him the riot act - we've known each other for 10+ years.  He keeps promising me that she is great and I told him that she better be!  He did offer to transfer her to him if I want.  The person starting on Monday is supposed to be for him, so if she doesn't work out with me we will trade.  Yeah....we're trading.

keedokes

Oh, and I wear plaid pants...I have about three pairs... 

Trust me, no one had these pants

keedokes

How much is this woman going to get paid to be needy and incompetent?

Trust me, waaay too much!  We pay our assistants pretty good since they are supposed to do EVERYTHING. 

keedokes

Hey!  Too bad you're not still in Milwaukee.  I'd work for you--granted, I haven't worked in an office since 2005, but I've got the mojo. 

That would have been awesome!  Although I did have Aaron in Milwaukee and he was pretty hard to beat!  He used to cover for me with the clients when I would be pumping.

OMG Lisa, too damn funny.  Yeah, trade!!!  Loved the hair description and the black nursing shoes.  Wow.  I suppose you can count your blessings that they aren't garden crocs.

(Do I still win the bet, if she's not your assistant anymore by next week?!?) 

At one of my jobs, we had a receptionist who wore skimpy tops with her bra straps showing and then sat at the desk with a blanket wrapped around her. This was at the Secretary for Education's Office and we had some very high level visitors. She didn't last long but to this day I can't help but wonder what she was thinking

OK enough   Some of us folks have to wear ugly shoes.... I have a great variety of crocs that I wear to work.....No more pretty shoes for me.....now the other stuff,,, well maybe she does have issues.  But, as an individual who works with folks with disabilities day in day out,,,, this is WAY beyond reasonable accommodation.

mrv

OK enough   Some of us folks have to wear ugly shoes.... I have a great variety of crocs that I wear to work.....No more pretty shoes for me.....now the other stuff,,, well maybe she does have issues.  But, as an individual who works with folks with disabilities day in day out,,,, this is WAY beyond reasonable accommodation.

 

I stopped wearing "pretty" shoes out of high school , I have some nice sandals but as an RN believe me your feet REQUIRE extra care.  I have a grand collection of tennis shoes, crocs and of course dog show shoes.  I can remember in the 70's when I was in high school wow the collection I had back then, everything from dessert boots and tennis to wedges of every description , my friend's favorites were my pink with rhinestones... only a teen could get away with them but wow the friends who wanted to borrow them was endless. 

The unicorns are an interesting choice.  Normally the object of eternal romance. and virginity you have to wonder what sparked the value they hold for her? 

As for the odd clothes I haven't a clue what you do for a job ?  If it isn't high fashion maybe you have some wiggle room for the idiocentric concepts? 

Frankly she sounds rather lonely to me, filling her emotional needs with boxes of comfort to identify her to others making sure she does not get hurt by explaining but instead allowing others to accept or avoid her by first impression. I am pulling for her. I really hope she is brilliant at her job and eventually you find some common ground and humor. In the mean time everything is a growing option.  and as long as she doesn't have to deal with the stories we all find amusing ther eis surely no harm no foul.

Bonita of Bwana

Bonita of Bwana

Frankly she sounds rather lonely to me, filling her emotional needs with boxes of comfort to identify her to others making sure she does not get hurt by explaining but instead allowing others to accept or avoid her by first impression

I know exactly what you mean, and that's why I am giving her a chance.  I do have a very soft heart and I feel bad for people that don't flow with the main stream.   It does make me happy that she is married and she does have her cats.  I don't like to think about people that are alone.  That makes me sad since I have so much around me.

I work in marketing and advertising research.  I deal with anyone from the president of Ford/GM to the senior executives of major banking and credit organizations.  My assistant needs to be able to fill in for me if I am unavailable, to go with me to meetings, after work engagements etc.  Although it is shallow, assistants need to not only be presentable but must be savy, and most importantly must be statistically/mathmatically smart and can handle ALOT of pressure.  We work with data and customers having crazy stupid "emergencies" all day long.  I really do hope she works out.  I hate to see people that don't "fit in" not find their place, but I can't sacrifice my job/performance in the meantime.

Regarding the shoes...yeah I am kind of a shoe snob I will admit that.  Crocs would have even been better.  We aren't on our feet much, if at all...we sit at our desks 90% of our day.  If it was just one thing or maybe two, but the whole thing is just too much. 

g33

(Do I still win the bet, if she's not your assistant anymore by next week?!?) 

Yep

mrstjohnson

about 20 pictures of unicorns.  Yep, that's right, unicorns in a corporate office.

I've been away from the computer for a bit, and I'm just catching up.  I read your response above and laughed so hard and loud that I choked on my sandwich.  That is frickin HILARIOUS!!!  I cannot believe someone would haul in that much crap!

At my last temp job, I took the place of another temp who suddenly collapsed at work... and then never returned or reported any update or anything.  She left behind a TON of stuff- pictures of herself w/hubby, pics of her cat, ALL kinds of snack food and office "accessories" - like heart-shaped post-its, special magnets, hand sanitizers, clothing adhesive tape (to hide bra straps and things), a bible, a Jehovah Witness yearbook, a personal back massager, etc... etc...!  I immediately boxed everything up that was clearly personal stuff and left it for her/the agency to pick up.  When she received her package, she sent back a list of 12 items that were "missing".  Unfortunately, we never found the stuffed penguin - and she flipped out BIG TIME on the temp agency rep.  Started crying, etc.  People like that worry me.

Anyway, please keep the updates coming!!!  These are definitely better than any episode of The Office that I've seen!!!  (And, btw, a month is VERY generous... if you're able to measure her work performance - as opposed to her personality - before then, I'd be watching closely and deciding THEN!)

Eeekk.... this is just so funny for us, but sad for you and her.  I wonder how many people have told her that her stuff isn't appropriate at work?

mrstjohnson

Purse:  HUGE and pink with a unicorn on it

 

must have a picture of this purse... i couldn't imagine carrying that around... wow... you will seriously impress me if you can snap a pic of this purse!!!!!!! mission started.... GO :)

at least she wears shoes. My dh works with a guy who has them off at all times in cube and the whole office can smell it, too.

It's not looking good.  I was out all morning in client meetings so I gave her a list of things that I needed done.  They were all pretty simple and nothing complex.  The first task she needed to review something online, note the differences on the hardcopy I gave her, and then make them to the document.  The second task was to enter some information into an existing spreadsheet and add column that subtracted some stuff.  The last thing was to check some numbers.  I gave her the priority of the items - easiest to hardest so that she could complete the easiest stuff when I wasn't here and the hardest stuff when I was so if she had questions I was here to answer them.  Note that for someone with her "experience" these items are very very easy and should never have been a problem, at all!

Well, she told me when I got back that she couldn't complete any of the tasks because she had questions on all of them so instead of moving foward she waited until I got back....OK, not a perfect decision, but that's ok I can move on.  So I thought she progressed through the items, noted the questions and plugged her way through...nope, on task #1 she had a question on the first line of text so she stopped,   Task #2 she didn't know if I wanted her to highlight the column in yellow she was supposed to add so she did nothing with it all (didn't even enter the stuff).  The third task she didn't do anything on because she was confused and then she had to go to lunch.  So, I am right where I started.  Please let's hope the new girl on Tuesday works out!