*shaking my head* ... you all watch too much TV or ... maybe have more spare time than I do?
It's funny -- I wanted to contribute to this when I saw the title ... why? Because my first marriage (when I was over 30 but had no experience to know what a creep he was) was to a man who was SOOOO completely the picture of an ACOA (adult child of an alcoholic) it was scarey.
It didn't stop there -- I married him because I was tired of being alone. I'm not one of those people that would qualify on anyone's good genetic selection criteria (asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, among others). He seemed the jolly sort ... (ohh, I was SO wrong).
We went back in his family history and for SEVEN generations the eldest male child was a substance abuser (mostly alcohol) and it continues in his son from a prior marriage.
By the time we'd been married a couple of years I knew having children with him was NOT a good thing. So altho I wanted children badly, I didn't try hard to have them, and I didn't pursue adoption (because he was NOT good father material at all).
So much depends on environment rather than pure genetics. And no one has even touched the idea that certain environmental factors (like food, stimulation, love, etc. -- not to mention potential positives/negatives like vaccines, good/bad medical care, etc.) can hurt or help genetics anyway.
to go back to the original post within a post that Kate/Denise started I'd like to answer it simply from MY perspective.
" I would ask how many of us or our SO, have hereditary diseases and conditions yet despite the risks we choose to have children? It seems to me that as humans we only consider the worst of the worst when it comes to passing on our genetics. How much pause do we give to family history of cancer, diabetes, disabling arthritis, asthma, heart disease etc.? "
All the things you mentioned, Denise, were health oriented. No temperament issues at all!
Both of my parents were asthmatic and I would have had children myself when I was young not realizing that *either* of my parents would manifest the disease until they were much older, nor myself either. I didn't know I had RA until I was older - it just wasn't diagnosed much when I was young.
But since bad health problems have never ever been a problem for me to consider adopting (and I would have gladly adopted a human child with any of the above, or far far more diabling problems like cerebral palsy, spina bifida, etc. in a heartbeat **had I had the proper spousal support** or sole income to support it).
BUT ... the show stopper for ME genetically in a mate was temperament. I've tried my entire life to over-come the temperament problems inherent in both sides of my family (and many of those are not physical but environmentally based but they are impacted a great deal by genetics and genetic pre-disposition).
So when i found myself shackled to a man so profoundly lacking in temperament (and the environmental backwash was so massive it was largely unable to be overcome) I simply chose NOT to have children, NOR would I adopt a child into such a situation.
So ... health issues wouldn't have been a problem for me... neither with dogs NOR a human mate. However, temperament?? It's a big huge mega deal to me in a dog ... and in a mate!
That's all *I* wanted to contribute.
But what I wanted to ask was ... for those of you who like to "discuss" this stuff into the ground ... to what end? does it make your life better? wiser?
I'm not being ratty -- I'm seriously asking. Because from the outside looking in - it looks simply like a recipe to argue to me.