I might get expelled...

corgichick

I think my friends were just trying to get attention and cause drama...I dont know why they all of a sudden turned on me. They know I would never do anything to hurt someone. I'm the most cheerful, happy-go-lucky girl who is always smileing and laughing.

Everyone has those days, and it's not like you said you were going to kill her or sitting there planning how it would be carried out. I've said that before out of anger but never meaning it..but I guess in today's world schools have to take everything to heart.

I'd just be careful of who your calling a "friend". The one that tattled on you and the other girl doesn't sound like someone I would want to call my friend, or who I could entrust with any type of information. Funny how you find out who friends really are. 

Yeah, you really have to be very careful what you say in front of people these days.  Don't forget all these kids that did all these crazy shootings nobody ever thought they'd do anything like that either. 

So weird - just today I was thinking about something I was called to the principal's office over when I even younger than you.  Something I wrote on the back of a homework assignment - it meant nothing, but they felt compelled to take action on it.

I feel for you.  I bet you're stressing out.  Do some meditation or something else to help you let go of the scary thoughts of what "might happen", and try to focus on all of this just getting resolved quickly and going away just as quickly as it surfaced.  IN a week or so talk to those friends who turned you in - maybe they thought something was up, or maybe they are not really friends at all.... But maybe you are more stressed than you think others notice, so it might be worth it to talk to them to find out what they see.  Don't take it all too seriously, but at least hear it out.

 Good luck - hope it all clears up quickly.  You may need to offer as many apologies for your mis-statement as the school officials deem necessary.  But then just leave it in the past, and don't let them dredge it up any more after that.

I really hope you don't get expelled.  And don't worry, I know what it is like to be very emotional abotu something and say something you don't mean.  When I was in highschool I was not considered popular at all, and actually has badly harrassed by the popular girls, tothe point I would leave school in thr moning saying i was sick and just go home.  I went home like this about 3 times a week.  I was pushed to my limit one day, I am NOT a confrontational person at all, and I said something about how much I hated one of them in particular, and that one girl skipped the class she had with me a lot, and told the principal she wasn't going because she was afraid of me. As a result got suspended for 5 days

Be careful, also, who you talk to, I learned very quickly in highschool that the people you think are your friends, really might not be

corgichick

Of course when people get mad they say stupid things they dont mean and dont think before they say things and their mouth has a mind of its own. Well this teacher just ticked me off because I was tired of being disrespected and I dont even know what I have ever done to get her to treat me this way..

When *people* get mad they do a lot of dumb things BUT they also get in a lot of trouble for them.  This is one of those hard life lessons, but let it be a big huge mega 'lesson' for you -- take it to heart and promise yourself you'll never let your mouth get out of control EVER like that, again. 

Because the amount of trouble you can get into, gets bigger -- and often with less and less provocation.  One day I had the weight of the world on *my* shoulders, was over-burdened at work and literally just had some horrible things going on and some really nasty provocation at work.  I got mad and popped off in front of the wrong person.

I lost my job ultimatley over it -- it was a job I loved and was very good at ... but one *moment* of diarreha of the mouth and it was history. 

Learning to shove your fist in your own mouth to NOT say stupid stuff isn't easy, but it's necessary.  The rest of the world never does understand you the way you assume they do, NOR do they"know" you wouldn't do something stupid.  Even "friends".

Often the desire to "look good" turns the friend you thot was the best into the worst turncoat on the planet.  And *you* are the one to suffer. 

corgichick

I think my friends were just trying to get attention and cause drama...I dont know why they all of a sudden turned on me. They know I would never do anything to hurt someone. I'm the most cheerful, happy-go-lucky girl who is always smileing and laughing.

You've got a serious conflict here -- friends who are "just trying to get attention and cause drama" are NOT "friends".  They're attention-seekers and they will always be more interested in themselves than protecting you.

They may "know I would never do " but that never counts -- because the attention THEY want will ****always**** win out over any 'truth' that may stand between them and attention and the fact that it hurts you never occurs to them.  It's just not nearly as important to them as others focus on them.

This sounds harsh -- and it is -- harsh criticism of them.  But this is one of those lovely little "life lessons" where you learn that no matter how satisfying it may be to 'pop off' about someone, it's never worth the ultimate damage to YOU, and no one is going to take your best interests at heart -- particularly not when there may be glory in betraying you.

And incidentially -- when talking about something like this, they'll swear up and down that they were "afraid FOR you" ... and were only trying to "prevent" you from something rash (they'll make that up too).

Next time a teacher ticks you off, try this instead ... ask nicely for an appointment.  And simply say "Ms. ___, have I done something to annoy you?  I felt in class like you were pretty harsh with me and I honestly didn't intend to do anything to upset you.  How can we set this straight?"

Even send it in a note -- it will be appreciated and a better way of dealing with something than being angry. 

Once said into the air or written on paper angry words take on a life of their own. They get remembered and they get misunderstood.  I'm not preaching at you -- it's my own very hard-learned lesson.  I have a vile temper -- it tends to stew and simmer a long long time, but when I reach the end of it man ... it's not pretty.  I've had to learn (the hard way I might add *sigh*) to defuse it before it gets out of line. 

And I've also learned the hard way that real 'friends' are few and very very far between.  Someone maybe should "know me" but that doesn't mean they'll ever stick up for me.

Everyone has given you great advice. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I hope you don't get expelled. I've said similar things plenty of times. But I'm real careful who hears me. Take care of yourself. Hugs...

willowchow

Yeah, you really have to be very careful what you say in front of people these days.  

So true.  A lot of times someone will come in on the tail end of a conversation, overhear something  and without having a clue what was being discussed take what they heard totally out of context and flip out. The next thing you know, you're being accused of God only knows what. If nothing else, this will help you see who your friends really are.

Joyce

More than once, I have ranted about someone and another person would go and tell the person, usually this one supervisor I had, a version of what I had said and it would come back to bite me.

Other times, I was just telling the truth, such as at my job last year.

I was working for this service company and I was the attached master so that they could have a state contractor's license. They had just hired a new guy and I was showing him the ropes. By law, I supervise all apprentices and journeymen if I am attached master. I was doing my job. I explained a few things. For example, at that company none of the management or ownership are electricians. So, when you go in to explain something or request something, they are not going to know what you are talking about and you may have to explain yourself. I pointed out that even though I was attached master, I could be expendable, too. The owner had been running without a master before I got there and he could decide to do so, again, at his own risk. So, we all have to do the best we can. The boss could very well decide he wouldn't need me anymore. No, letting me go is a little more involved then letting an apprentice go. I would have to detach my master license number from the company, detach my license number for business registrations in any city, detach from any active electrical permits. So, we're only as good as we work.

He turned around and told a version of this to the service dept. manager. The manager was a 28 year-old guy who had spent 6 years in the Marines as a combat engineer (welding and blowing stuff up), a year or so driving a flatbed delivering drywall, and a year or so installing computer equipment on oil drilling machines. This, evidently, is what is required to be a service manager at an electrical company. Anyway, he turns around and gives his version to the owner. The owner calls me (won't meet me face to face) and hollers at me and won't even give me a chance to say what I really said. According to him, I was threatening to detach my license (for whatever reason, I can only imagine). Suffice it to say that there are several problems at that company.

I later found out that the manager had put out an ad for a master electrician about 2 weeks before they got rid of me. He was setting me up from then. They did briefly find another master. I do mean briefly. The guy signed on and worked there for two days and walked away. They couldn't keep their company credit cards paid and he feared his paychecks might not be good. The owner ranted at him, too.

I have learned that you don't say anything that you don't want repeated, either verbatim or ad-libbed. There are people out there who will stab you in the back as soon as you turn around. They are not good at anything else, so they can only succeed by the attrition of others.

And I hope things turn around for you.

So far no police were involved and I served my In-school detention yesterday with my friend that got in trouble also for the same reason.

It wasnt that bad at all, it was quite fun actually. lol. But the room was sooooooooooo small barely fit 6 desks and a computer. There was no window or fan and the room was sooooooo hot! We got one bathroom break and 2 waterbreaks and the rest of the day we had to work on school work and had some cool teachers that rotated in that let us talk the whole time, sleep  and go on the computer and stuff, and some were just fun to annoy. I finished about two thirds of the work before I got to hot and couldnt think and had a headache. I dont know why they think ISD's are a bad punishment because they are more fun to be in than in regular class...

But, I am grounded now. I got my cell phone taken away and no hanging out with friends for a while and I'm not supposed to be on the computer....

I know it's hard to do but a person who can control her temper is in more control than anyone else. The only thing you can change or affect is your response to something.

Here's another funny for you. 20 years ago I was studying Tae Kwon Do and Aiki-jujutsu with an instructor at Southern Methodist University. I did everything his way and couldn't seem to qualify for another belt test. I even had words with one of his prize students. Anyway, I tried keeping my mouth shut. And when he would have friends instruct the class, I would do it their way, which was noticably different than his way. And they reported to him that I was really coming around and showing improvement. My introduction to politics, which I did not expect to find in a martial arts class, but there it is. You'd be surprised at the results you get when you get on someone's good side. Is it fair? Of course not. But that's life.