How do you tell a friend...

If she's worried about the cost of vaccines, she can do all but the rabies herself. I do all of mine (all three animals) and it's CHEAP.

Good luck on the rest.  I hope you can get her to see the light. 

I guess the point I'm trying to make is, she may not care about anything you say because she may think your views are extreme and most likely views herself as being average or typical, and therefore, more balanced. I don't know what the solution to that is. If it were me, I'd just fix the dog up as best I could while she's gone and hope she notices the difference.

well, my friends dont have dogs, but they have told me before that i'm a dog-nerd and sometimes, when they are trying to tell me, i am overdoing it, i just tell them the facts and they seem to understand just fine.

for example, they say i put so much energy into training my dogs, and i tell them it's my preference, cause i have a low tolerance for all annoying things, so i train my dogs to be less annoying.

they say i spend too much money on dog food, i tell them any other food means diahrria (sp?) at least for moca and that means poop in the house. they sure understand my point there.

they say i spend too much money on vet bills esp spay and neuter, i tell them my unfixed dogs drove me insane and i barely have time for them, so how will i deal with puppies?

they say they cant believe i have to take them outside so often, i tell them my dogs can hold it longer than me, but at some point they have to go, and if idont take it out, i will have to clean the mess in my house.

etc.etc.etc.

anyways, my point is, most of these things arent about seeming crazy. there IS a point to it. it's about wanting to take a bit of an efford to make things better.

but i'd ask my friend, why she even got a dog in the first place, if she isnt interested in caring for it?

cause that's always my final answer. i may seem crazy, but if i didnt wanna do all of these things for my dogs, i wouldnt HAVE my dogs.

So, I just realized I never updated this....I never got to tell you all what happend when she got home.

So, I gave the dog a bath and trimmed the fur around the eyes, inside the ears, and trimmed the nails (especially the dew claws which were grossly overgrown). Good thing I have a little experience in grooming, used to have a Cocker Spaniel and I did in-between the groomer trims. I also gave the dog a couple of toys Apollo didn't use and a bed he was too big for.

My friend came home and didn't say anything about how her dogs looked...nothing. So, I said "I gave her bath, it was like spa day! She loved it! She really likes getting brushed, and pampered. We should defianlty do like a girls-dogs day." My friend rolled her eyes and said, "Yah...thanks for watching her. Here's the bed and toys." I said "You can keep them. She liked them more than Apollo" and she said (what nerve) "No, this bed is soooooo ugly! It's made for a boy!" The bed is beige with chocolate brown trim and was new, I got it for Apollo but he was way too big and never used it. I was pretty PO'd so I just took it and the toys.......I feel bad for the dog, but there's only so much I can do.

Oh, wow, that really sucks.  I  have been following this thread and I really thought that if you showed her how nice her dog could look she would be more open to taking care of her.  I can't believe she actually gave the bed and toys back too!

Yah, my friend is a great girls girl...you know? She LOVES to get her hair done, nails done, go shopping, so it's fun to hang out with her and go to the mall, but I wish she didn't get her dog. I think she views it as an accessory, which is annoying, not to mention cruel to the dog.

At this point, the only thing that will probably get through to her is telling her the way she is treating her dog is abusive.  Does she even want the dog?  Would she consider surrendering it?

BlackLabbie

Yah, my friend is a great girls girl...you know? She LOVES to get her hair done, nails done, go shopping, so it's fun to hang out with her and go to the mall, but I wish she didn't get her dog. I think she views it as an accessory, which is annoying, not to mention cruel to the dog.

BlackLabbie

Yah, my friend is a great girls girl...you know? She LOVES to get her hair done, nails done, go shopping, so it's fun to hang out with her and go to the mall, but I wish she didn't get her dog. I think she views it as an accessory, which is annoying, not to mention cruel to the dog.

Okay here is another really Sneaky Trick...as a Mom and G'ma I have a million of them....  See if you can't get your hands on the pup again , groom her and then have a photoshoot.... If you can't take pics see if you have a buddy who can.  Silly props and a  really pretty pup.  Then make sure you have at least a couple taken with you holding her and looking delighted....  give her a tiny album or a set with a cute framed one for her wall. 

Why ?? remember she thinks of this dog more as an accessory, the work involved in keeping her groomed is over her head unless she sees the results .  If she is not delighted , write her off . Seriously she will never "get" it. If she is tickled then invite her ina couple of weeks to have her pics taken by you or your friend with your dogs... encourage her to show up dressed cute and remind her to make sure Fluffy is groomed to show up gorgeous next to her mom...   One of my stepdaughters tends to "See" the world in photos , she may not consider things until she has a chance to "see" how others see them.  She redecorated her house after a party when she "saw"  how it looked through th eyes of others,  bought a different wardrobe after seeing herself next to new friends and the way the looked in pics...

Heck it is worth a shot if only for the closure you will need. Remind yourself if it doesn't work out that you not only went above and beyond but that she , while not Treasured is at least not in a shelter and hurting. I am hoping for the best for all of you !!

Bonita of Bwana

So....

I think maybe some of the stuff I talked to my friend about rubbed off on her! She called me today (we haven't talked since last week, we usually talk everyday to every other day) and asked if I wanted to go for a walk with her & her dog...I did. The dog had been to a groomer and had a new, clean, leash and harness. My friend also told me she went to Target and got her toys and a pink bed!!! I'm so happy!!!! I hope she changed her food too...but she didn't say anything about it. She also said she made an appointment with a vet because her Mom offered to pay for the dog's spay/vaccines, fine by me as long as the dog is getting taken care of!!! So, maybe her Mom talked to her about the dog...her parents are very nice, and take very good care of their dog (yellow lab), so I think me + her parents saying something might've woken her up!

Congratulations!  Sounds like a success story...you should be proud!

OMG that is wonderful!  I could not have been so calm and rational as you were and you managed to achieve such great results!  Good Work! 

 That's awesome! I hope you ooohed and aaahed and gushed about how pretty her precious puppy was :)

Just catching up with this thread... Congrats!  I hope what you said IS rubbing off on her.

I'm in the "people roll their eyes at me" category of dog people, too.  Once you have the info it is easy to be hyper vigilant and attempt to cram (in their opinion) your hard won knowledge down other people's throats.  I ran into trouble with a co-worker trying to do that with her new pup.  I quickly realized it was MUCH easier (on the friendship) to say, "I know having a dog/puppy can be really overwhelming, and it brought me to tears a few times - and that was just over figuring out the food that agreed with Oliver's digestion!  If you get to a point and want to bounce ideas off me, just let me know, I'll be happy to help."

I hope the puppy has a new leash on life with her "reformed" owner!

BCMixs

OMG that is wonderful!  I could not have been so calm and rational as you were and you managed to achieve such great results!  Good Work! 

It was tough!!!! I wanted to flip on her....but I've known her so long that I knew doing that wouldn't do much because she can be very defensive. I usually don't let too much get to me, and this did and she knew it...so I think she took me a little more seriously after I stopped calling her and she knew I was mad. But hey- it worked!

Cita

 That's awesome! I hope you ooohed and aaahed and gushed about how pretty her precious puppy was :)

Oh, you KNOW I did! I'm not a fan of teeny-tiny dogs...especially a "designer" muttlies, but I gushed about this dog like she was the Westminster Best In Show winner!!