How do you... (mrstjohnson)

I think it best if it comes from her superior.  You could mention something to her boss that you've "heard around the office" that her attire is making folks uncomfortable.  I'm in a similar situation, but the preggers girl is at my company's corporate office, and I'm in a satellite office, so I don't have to see her.  But others in our corporate office have told me she did the same thing until she finally broke down and bought some maternity clothes.

aerial1313

I think it best if it comes from her superior. 

I am her supervisor

Oh.  Well good luck then!  J/K. 

Do you have a company dress code you could show her?  Or just tell her flat out, nicely though, that while everyone is so excited that she's expecting, people have complained to you that her exposed belly is making them uncomfortable.  She should be able to handle that, unless of course, her pregnancy hormones are going haywire, in which case have some ice cream and pickles on hand.

I'm glad to see someone raise this -- sometimes I feel like a complete fuddy duddy but I tell ya -- this whole "the pregnant body is BEE-you-ti-fullllllllllll" thing just rolls my stomach.  Down here in Floor-da it seems NO one wears "real" maternity clothes -- just stretch a top over it and it's GREAT!!  ugh. 

I can't believe it's comfortable.  oh well, I'll crawl back into Fuddy-Duddy-Land now ... but if I were you, I'd tell her "You know if you were the same age and UN-pregnant, I'd have to tell you that exposing your midriff/belly wasn't in line with company policy and it's honestly just not gonna fly with expectant moms either.  Sorry!!  Company policy is ... COMPANY policy!  Phew -- at least you've got back-up clothes."

Oh boy Lisa!  I have to say I think since you're her boss it's time to have a sit down.  Just a quick little meeting to say that it's important that a level of professional dress be maintained in the office, and that even though you are not a business formal environment, could she please begin wearing tops and pants that fully cover her pregnant belly.  If she gets nervous tell her she doesn't have to run right out tonight and buy a new wardrobe, but that she needs to have appropriate clothes by the beginning of the following week (or whatever).

(Gaah, I can't imagine showing my girth when I was in the office!  Granted I got SO big, sometimes I did show a little bit even though I was wearing a shirt the size of Wisconsin...and I hated that!) 

calliecritturs

"You know if you were the same age and UN-pregnant, I'd have to tell you that exposing your midriff/belly wasn't in line with company policy

 

Yeah, that ^ ^ ^

 

How is it Callie ALWAYS knows what to say??!!!  

g33

could she please begin wearing tops and pants that fully cover her pregnant belly.

 

Nah.  Don't mention the P word!!  It's nothing against her being PREGNANT.  You are not picking on her and sigling her out.  Everyone else is covering up their bellies, so should she, being pregnant does not come into it!  

Honestly, I may have got a bit "off" if someone at work had asked me to wear clothes that cover my "pregnant belly".  I'd have probably thought "screw you!!!"  But if someone reminded me that midriffs are not supposed to be on display (note the absence of the p word) then I think I'd have been OK.  This issue is not ABOUT being pregnant, right? 

Remarks like that can EASILY be construed as offensive.  I was VERY conscious that some people probably looked at me and thought "oh BLEURGH ".  And yeah, there were some days I didn feel like a hippo and I felt HORRIBLE and fat and ugly and ungainly and awkward and and and and.... You KNOW all this Lisa, don't you?  I wasn't the only one was I???!!!

The thing is, once you're that pregnant, there's not a lot you can do about it.  You either have to find a way to be comfortable in your skin or just feel totally miserable.  Some people might think she looks yucky, but maybe she is revelling in her bump, and if so GOOD FOR HER.  Don't shatter that.  Because the alternative is to be ashamed of yourself and your body and the miraculous (if gruesome) process that you're going through.
 

Chuffy

Nah.  Don't mention the P word!!  It's nothing against her being PREGNANT.  You are not picking on her and sigling her out.  Everyone else is covering up their bellies, so should she, being pregnant does not come into it!  

Honestly, I may have got a bit "off" if someone at work had asked me to wear clothes that cover my "pregnant belly".  I'd have probably thought "screw you!!!"  But if someone reminded me that midriffs are not supposed to be on display (note the absence of the p word) then I think I'd have been OK.  This issue is not ABOUT being pregnant, right? 

I *so* agree! Just something about how revealing too much skin, particularly at the midriff, takes away from the semi-formal business atmosphere. 

Thanks for the advice everyone.  I hate this part of being a manager.  Having the "talk" with people is easy when they are idiots or screw up.  This talk wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't so meek, quiet, and shy.  I know she isn't doing it because she wants to show it off, I think it's more of an "I have no clue" thing and I just don't want to embarrass her.

I am going to talk to her today (depending on what she's wearing) and approach in the context of bare middriffs aren't part of company dress code...and not mention the pregnancy thing per se. 

Chuffy

And yeah, there were some days I didn feel like a hippo and I felt HORRIBLE and fat and ugly and ungainly and awkward and and and and.... You KNOW all this Lisa, don't you?  I wasn't the only one was I???!!!

No, you were not alone!  That's for sure. 

calliecritturs

sometimes I feel like a complete fuddy duddy but I tell ya -- this whole "the pregnant body is BEE-you-ti-fullllllllllll" thing just rolls my stomach.  Down here in Floor-da it seems NO one wears "real" maternity clothes -- just stretch a top over it and it's GREAT!!  ugh. 

I'm probably being hyper sensitive but this kinda irked me a little bit and I was disappointed to see who posted this because I REALLY respect you, Callie. But I do find the "pregnant body" beautiful. And while I agree that showing skin is not for the public eyes, what's wrong with a fitted maternity top(not showing belly)? I wore fitted maternity clothes, in small part because I wanted to be able to wear them postpartum without them dwarfing me, but mostly because being pregnant was the best I ever felt about my body and for once in my life I didn't mind showing my form.

Maybe that's the mom in me talking but I don't think anything is wrong with wearing fitted maternity clothes. *shrug* K, sorry to interrupt the OT discussion, I just had to say something or I would have been bothered forever by this, lol.

I think the suggestion about not mentioning the pregnancy when you talk to her is a good one. Good Luck!

UndefinedMelody

I wore fitted maternity clothes,

So did I, especially at the end when everything I wore had the fitted look   But for work, I tried to look as professional as possible.

I think Callie was talking about those that wear maternity clothes or non maternity clothes so tight that they end up showing off way too much skin and parts that shouldn't be seen.  I have seen them, trust me and it's not pretty.

UndefinedMelody

But I do find the "pregnant body" beautiful.

 

I think it certainly can be.  I don't think it is by default however, but then I think in all honesty, the human body in and of itself is rarely beautiful when seen objectively.  Naked men for example, look ridiculous.  But seen from another point of view, it's a beautiful, wonderful, ever-astonishing miracle of existence.  The way I look at it, if a woman is displaying her pregnant body, then I feel happy for her that she is not ashamed of it and takes pride in it.  Like anyone, I imagine, I would much RATHER see it displayed tastefully, not just squeezed into clothes several sizes too small.  On the contrary, that speaks to me of someone who has no pride in themselves or their body at all.

 Just wanted to point out that there is a possibility that, if she is big enough, she may not realize her belly is showing.  This sounds funny, but when I was pregnant with Kali I worked in the mall.  Our dress code was dressy casual, and I always dressed the part.  I had a few longer shirts that I thought were covering my belly.  I certainly couldn't see it, even in the mirror, but apparently those on the shorter side could.  Oopsie.  The shirt didn't cling under my belly, rather it hung straight down, just not far enough.  hehe.