Why don't they listen?

 First glad that Jack is fine and second my DH must be related to yours although mine wouldn't take B to the vet he'd want to wait and see.

As for men not listening no answer - mine just doesn't seem to think that a dog might get into stuff or a child either.  It's like he sees them all as adults with discerning minds that would know what is bad for them and choose not to do it.

This has been the source of much angst in this house  

kpwlee

 First glad that Jack is fine and second my DH must be related to yours although mine wouldn't take B to the vet he'd want to wait and see.

As for men not listening no answer - mine just doesn't seem to think that a dog might get into stuff or a child either.  It's like he sees them all as adults with discerning minds that would know what is bad for them and choose not to do it.

This has been the source of much angst in this house  

It MUST be a guy thing then because that goes on here too.     My BF thinks its ok to lock the dogs up while we're at work and then come home and not play with them.  Sure they're not crated when we're home at all and sleep in the bedroom with us, but he doesn't think giving them exercise is necessary.  Then wonders why Kota chews up door frames or Shadow gets into the plastic bags.  Um, they're BORED!  sheesh....

tashakota

he doesn't think giving them exercise is necessary.

tashakota

then come home and not play with them.

Got that one too - I do 98% of exercising and training with B, may be 99%.  DH is like, "he's a dog, he'll be fine just lying around".  OK our neighbor's have a dog like that B is as far away from that as a dog could be.  We are supremely fortunate that for whatever reason he has no desire to destroy the house or our stuff, he will go get stuff and wave it in front of us, but he has never eaten something or damaged the house (OK he did lose his footing in a zoomie and smash an iron & glass hall table to smithereens).

He will though when bored/restless make it impossible to ignore him -  with his size he is not underfoot he is in your face. 

Back to OP my DH too gets huffy when I 'remind' him to do something that any woman would just do. It is so irritating 

edit to add Poodleluvr we got the door ajar thing too!  Apparently my DH encompasses many of men's bad habits all in one package  

I don't think it's a 'guy' thing so much as a 'relationship' thing.  In our case, David and I are both cautious in different ways.  Completely opposite-kind of 'different'. 

but the kicker comes when we 'nag' each other to BE careful out of our own respective foibles.  It's annoying and it *feels* at the moment like the other person doesn't trust our judgment.

So the one being nagged 'rebels' a bit at that (and often REFUSES to be 'careful' on that issue because they feel like it is a personal criticism -- so not only are they less 'careful' than normal but maybe sub-consciously deliberately so).

It's an ongoing "learning to live with *you*" kind of thing -- and unfortunately it often takes not only stuff like this happening (and I'm SO glad Jack is ok!) but learning to change how we *ask* and how we deal with each other so we're less offensive to each other.

Case in point (and for once I did this one right) -- one of MY hot buttons is when we get home from a day of doing something, if David's tired he doesn't like to carry all the stuff "in" from the car -- and one of the things that often gets left is my wheelchair (I don't use it all the time -- only when there's a ton of walking involved).  Then I'm left (often for the week b/c David gets home so late) with this wheelchair taking up ALL the space in the PT Cruiser so I can't do ANYTHING (like take the dogs, get groceries, etc.) without having to try to figure out how to haul the chair out myself (which is quite a bit beyond me). 

We were out in the RAIN all day Sunday.  Not just sprinkles -- BUCKETS of rain (twice the record rainfall ever on that particular day).  I was so beyond drenched to the skin it wasn't funny, but my brain is already thinking about how just the condensation on the inside of the car is going to smell like mildew *tomorrow* as it sits in the sun and I'm thinking of my fabric seat in my chair!  ugh!!!

We got almost home and I voiced what I *knew* would be a bad subject with David "Somehow tonight please make sure my chair comes out of the car ~~tonight~~ please?"

Before I could explain HE said "It probably will NOT be tonight but I'll get it out in the morning if I have time but I am TOO TIRED to deal with it, so don't even START!"

"Hon, sorry -- but the whole car will mildew by tomorrow just because of the condensation off our clothes on the drive home!!  The seat of my chair needs to not only be out of the car, but opened up so it will dry, not mildew!"

"YOU are *right* -- I'll do it tonight!"

That took a lot for him to say that b/c he *hates* to be reminded of stuff that he thinks is perfectly obviousl  (That's the 'men think that words cost $80 each so you MUST say things in the fewest number of words possible even if someone misunderstands you as a result!' thing- that IS a 'guy thing';)

Sometimes you're just not going to avoid the annoyance -- but sometimes we either have to figure out *when* to say it (not after we're home, inside and both relaxing) but have your 'logic' thot out as well.

In the case of something you have to ask him *every* night, why not get creative and get some sort of locking 'box' on **your** side of the bed to keep your eyewear, and stuff in so you can handle your own stuff, rather than having to tick him off every night.  Could you mount a box on your headboard or something to put your glasses/contacts in?? 

calliecritturs

but the kicker comes when we 'nag' each other to BE careful out of our own respective foibles.  It's annoying and it *feels* at the moment like the other person doesn't trust our judgment.

So the one being nagged 'rebels' a bit at that (and often REFUSES to be 'careful' on that issue because they feel like it is a personal criticism -- so not only are they less 'careful' than normal but maybe sub-consciously deliberately so).

Heehee, sounds familiar!

"Could you take the trash out tonight?"

"Sure, let me finish this stuff first."

::later::

"Don't forget to take the trash out, ok?"

"I SAID I would TAKE it, sheesh!"

"Ok! Sorry! Just reminding you!"

::as we're falling asleep::

"You got the trash, right?"

"...oops. I'll get it tomorrow."

Wash, rinse, repeat. And in BF's defense, this conversation can go either way, we're both equally terrible!

I'm glad Jack's okay, and hopefully now your hubby will be a bit more responsive to your reminders! 

Oh!  I hope that Jack is ok...  and sorry about your glasses and contact, been there, suffered that.

I try not to nag/bug DH and frankly he is REALLY good about many, many things (he's also a member of this board ).  The one thing that bothers me is that I'm concerned about collar safety with two dogs in the house.  I like for them to be "nekkid" most of the time and ALWAYS when in their crates.

DH has a really hard time remembering to remove their collars before kenneling them.  I'm trying to be creative but I also feel that it is so dangerous to them, why can't he remember???

That's a bummer, but I hope everything turns out OK for Jack.  Seems like  that poor pup has had more than his share of trouble.  Do you have a Lens Crafters nearby?  They can do a walk-in eye exam if you don't have your prescription handy and have your glasses ready in an hour ... and if you've got decent credit they'll finance it for you - 90 days same as cash. I feel you pain about having your glasses destroyed.  BTDT.

Joyce

 Jack seems to be doing fine.  Thanks for the good vibes.  He is very lucky he is cute....

Glad Jack is OK.  My husband is the same way always telling me to stop bugging him, that he'll do stuff and then later when I ask if it's done I get a I got busy or forgot or I'll do it later or tomorrow.  They are all the same. 

I'm very happy Jack is OK and I hope tomorrow you find a very nice pair of glasses to replace the chewed ones. Maybe Jack wanted to give you a new look? ~lol~ I'm sure from now on... the cabinet will be perfectly closed!

Well, we were able to go to Lens Crafters and get me a backup pair.  They were not able to get the lenses as thin as they were at the place I got my glasses, but that's OK, at least i can see.

As it turned out, there was apparently a sock in the cabinet.  I have no idea what a sock might have been doing in there, but when we got home this evening Jack had thrown one up.  it apparently did not show up on the x-ray.  Thank God it did not get stuck. 

I'm getting kind of worried.  Jack is throwing up.  The meds they gave him for his tummy list vomiting as a possible side effect, so I'm hoping that's all it is.

He could use good mojo......