Scarey Decision

    • Gold Top Dog

    Scarey Decision

    My very last button has been pushed and I'm so tempted to quit my job (I've been here 2.5 months!).  About the only thing stopping me is having health insurance, which someone with MS should really not consider a luxury.  So for all 'quitters' out there, tell me how you survived.  I don't have a husband or live-in boyfriend to help support me temporarily, my mom wouldn't be able to help much and my savings is rather pitiful.  I could make it about a month, meds included.  Advice?  Words of encouragement?  Reasons why I should stay and watch myself sink into dispare?  Ugh, I hate this!

    • Gold Top Dog

     Here's my long story short - I was going through a very stressful time in life - add on to the fact that I hate my job. The job was crazy - drug addicts and people with anger management issues, I worked 55 hr weeks and was told I wasn't working enough...the list goes on. I talked it over with a family member who convinced me to stay 1 year and then decide. So, I did - it never got better, only worse. My health suffered...I lost hair, gained weight and so on. Finally, something happened at the office that broke the camels back, so to speak and I walked out right then and there. This is a career professional job too. You just don't walk out on those, you know?

    I had no savings, wasn't married, had nobody to support me but none of that mattered. What mattered was my health and sanity. So I quit, then decided that I needed a change in life, or at least some time to myself to get my act together. So, I enrolled in college full time again - that way I could learn something new, work on myself and have income (part time job + financial aid + student medical assistance). So, I did that for a year (of course I built up more student loans but it was worth it), then I went back to work full time.

    To this day it was the best decision I have ever made.

    My advice to you, decide what the state of your stress is and go from there. If it's something you absolutely can't take one more day then quit. The very next day though you need a plan of action. Sometimes jobs are few and far between. I counted on relationships that I had built before to get myself a part time job. I called up old friends, told them I needed work and something fell in to my lap.

    I'm not sure any of this helps you but I think it shows that there's options out there that you may not be aware of. 

    • Gold Top Dog

    You could also start sending your resume everywhere you can think of and actively looking - then, as soon as you find something you think you'd like, accept it and quit on the spot.

    Joyce

    • Gold Top Dog

    This is a point of view coming from someone who is a total security freak. If it were me, I'd begin an earnest search for another job. Start with the want ads tonight, circle anything that even appeals in the slightest way, and start sending out resumes. Take a deep breath about the current position and tell yourself that it's temporary until you find something else. The fact that you have little in savings or anyone to fall back on PLUS you have medical issues makes me think that walking out isn't a good option. I also think it's generally easier to find another job when you're still employed.

    If a complete change of careers is appealing, then try to find a job that will either allow you to get some new training or one that will enable you to work but also further your education.

    Good luck! I hope whatever you choose it works out for you. Having to show up every day for a job you hate, is miserable.

    • Gold Top Dog

    I've been doing this for about two weeks now.  No one has bitten yet but I know it takes time.  Problem is that my sanity is running out of that time.

    Jewliee, thanks for sharing, that does make me feel better.  I don't think going back to school is really for me at least I know there are other options.

    I've emailed my old supervisor to see if anything is open there that I could come back to.  She's looking around for me.  (I said I've been here 2.5 months but it's actually 3.5.)

    • Moderators
    • Gold Top Dog

    Double up everything Cathy said, because I agree.

    As for getting thru btwn now and then - make a mental note not to invest any more emotion into your job there.  Think of it like a clinical trial or experiment or something.  Pull all the emotion out of it that you can.  The emotional reactions to being treated poorly, (or having to do unethical things, or whatever else might be creating such an awful experience) is what will hurt you.  You know you deserve to be treated honestly and fairly and you will find that job soon.  In the meantime, YOU are working THEM for a paycheck.  Use the heck outta them for the money - and any training or skills that might be worthwhile somewhere else - milk them for it.  And when you have a new job, leave politely - you never know whom you might encounter later in your career.

     Sending good job vibes to you.  Invite the good in, and let the bad slip away... maybe that type of negativity motivates someone else - let the energy pass on to them. You got your fill of it and are now motivated to find a new job.  GOOD LUCK!!!!  It will come to you if you put the effort into the new job, and less being sucked from the current job.

    • Gold Top Dog

    Because it’s always easier to FIND a job while you HAVE a job. Concentrate all your effort on finding another job on your outside time, and simply take it day by day.

    Frankly, darling, they can’t "cook you and eat you". Truly – they can’t hurt you, terrorize you, or make YOU depressed. YOU can *allow* it, but they can’t crack open your skull and *make* anything. So you get up, go thru the motions, and do one more day. And then do it again and again and again and again. They simply aren’t work you wasting your precious emotional strength on them ... you simply do whatever floats their boat today ... so you can continue to job hunt.

    And you don’t have to let on in an interview you are working for a bunch of idiots -- personify grace under fire. ... You simply smile and say ‘Well, it wasn’t what it was represented to be, so I’ve simply continued to look. I don’t ‘owe’ them long term loyalty, however, I would never leave ANYONE short, so I would need to give them 2 weeks notice. Is that ok for you?"

    • Gold Top Dog

    I second the idea of starting a serious job search now and then when you find one you like, buh-bye crappy job.  I would just be too scared to not have job.

    • Gold Top Dog

    One thing I learned out of having a miserable job for 2.5 years, try hard to not let little things bother you while there and to try to leave work at work. It took me 2 years to finally be able to leave work there, no matter how awful my day was. I used to come home miserable everyday, take it out on DH which would make him miserable, and I was always stressed out to the point I got sick. Finally one day I had enough and started looking for new jobs, anything that went on at work I just didn't care about, I even told the owner I just don't care anymore. Turns out my company shut down anyways, which worked out in my favor, but I could never have thought about walking out on a job. I like to feel security as well and hate the feeling of "oh no, now what". If it's completely absolutely unbearable for you, give your 1 or 2 weeks notice. It's definately alot better than just quitting. Try to find something part time if possible and relax a bit. I know how scary it is to have no health insurance. At the moment I don't either since DH lost his job, and just last week it hit me that if something happened where one of us had to go to the hospital for an emergency, we are screwed. Not a great feeling...

    • Gold Top Dog

    Guess maybe I should share what's bothering me about it.  It's not the way I'm being treated as much as it is that there's no work to do.  I work max two hours in the morning and then there's NOTHING.  I'm not the only one, there are others in my department who are twiddling their thumbs, but they hired me because they needed my Import experience.  The others work Domestic.  The plain fact of the matter is that the current state of the market doesn't support all the jobs out there involved in retail.  It hasn't for some time.  And I don't function well in this kind of environment; I need work in order to feel like I'm worthy of being here and getting my paycheck.  The nothingness is consuming.  And yes, my boss is very difficult to work for.  The very miniscule amount of work I have keeps dwindling because she's doing it all for me before I can even get to it.  We've had a talk about this and I get the feeling it's because she doesn't feel like I can do the job.  I don't take it personally because frankly I don't care.  If I loved this job maybe I would take it personally, maybe I would try more and want to please her (and myself) but at this point, the job is just benefits.  I get paid to do nothing but warm this chair; could be worse but at this particular time I'm wondering how.

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    • Gold Top Dog

    Well, HECK, then - use all this free time to learn a new skill that would be worthwhile to your career!!!  Do it online, bring in books -  you are investing in yourself and your career and any potential future employers with the new skills.  THAT is worth your time!

    • Gold Top Dog

    I know how that goes. There's almost nothing worse than having nothing to do. It makes you hate your job real fast.

    If I were you, I wouldn't quit right away. You can always take that nothing time and turn it in to money. Research, learn something new and find another job. You can do it. 

    • Gold Top Dog

    scrubsfiend

    Guess maybe I should share what's bothering me about it.  It's not the way I'm being treated as much as it is that there's no work to do.  I work max two hours in the morning and then there's NOTHING.  I'm not the only one, there are others in my department who are twiddling their thumbs, but they hired me because they needed my Import experience. 

     Oh, that sounds so much like my last job it's scary. I contracted to a bank who needed some legacy apps converted to .NET. I did that in about 6 weeks. After that I had nothing to do, and my boss would say "I'm not your mother and it's not my job to find you stuff to do." I'm like wtf? I literally had NOTHING to do. I ended up staying there about 9 months or so. Pure agony. So I can definitely relate. I'm not satisfied unless I'm very busy. I mean, when you feel there is nothing left to google... something is wrong.

     However, I didn't leave until I had another job secured. Under these circumstances (nothing to do) leaving without having another job lined up is just silly talk. ESPECIALLY if you don't have a substantial amount of money squirreled away.

    So, here's the order:

    1. Get new job

    2. Quit old job

    3. Be happy

    • Gold Top Dog

    banditxx99

    scrubsfiend

    Guess maybe I should share what's bothering me about it.  It's not the way I'm being treated as much as it is that there's no work to do.  I work max two hours in the morning and then there's NOTHING.  I'm not the only one, there are others in my department who are twiddling their thumbs, but they hired me because they needed my Import experience. 

     Oh, that sounds so much like my last job it's scary. I contracted to a bank who needed some legacy apps converted to .NET. I did that in about 6 weeks. After that I had nothing to do, and my boss would say "I'm not your mother and it's not my job to find you stuff to do." I'm like wtf? I literally had NOTHING to do. I ended up staying there about 9 months or so. Pure agony. So I can definitely relate. I'm not satisfied unless I'm very busy. I mean, when you feel there is nothing left to google... something is wrong.

     However, I didn't leave until I had another job secured. Under these circumstances (nothing to do) leaving without having another job lined up is just silly talk. ESPECIALLY if you don't have a substantial amount of money squirreled away.

    So, here's the order:

    1. Get new job

    2. Quit old job

    3. Be happy

    Advice heeded, thanks dear.  The google comment rings SO true!

    • Gold Top Dog

    Wow that sounds horrible!  We taught our 5 daughters you never quit a job until you have a new one ready and waiting.  Sometimes just the knowledge you are sending out resumes and actively looking makes the job you have a bit easier to take. With your health issues you are really between a rock and a hard place!! Stress causes more problems with MS, not like I need to tell you!  Try to depersonalize your job while you are there. I would hazzard a guess that it is not about "you" , anyone in the position would have the same crud to deal with. Since it isn't about "you" and you know your work ethic and your ability it is easy to understand how you will be an asset to another job,  Sometimes having a boyfriend or husband can keep you trapped even more, How? as a couple you tend to build up more debt, it becomes harder to take action when you know you have bills and two people's expenses to worry about. Get a calendar and give yourself a reasonable mamount of time to locate and get a new job... while watching the days check off you will feel less trapped and have something to look forward to ! Best of Luck !!

    Bonita of Bwana