The Navy

I know a couple of guys in the Marines, haven't talked to them since high school really though. I know it's a lot of hard work - but after boot camp, you can get a job with computers or something. You're a part of the forces, but not actually in the fighting part - which is what scares me most. BF did ROTC for the navy in high school, and really enjoyed it. He thought about serving, and we've talked it over a bit - but nothing too in depth, it was more of just a passing thought.

I know 3 people in the Army and two in the Marines. And they are DIE HARD Americans. Like WAR WAR WAR FIGHT FOR YOUR COUNTRY! Which I think is great b/c that's how I would like our US soliders to be... but the problem I have with people randomly join for work or benefits is... what if there is a war and you have to go?? Hense the Army Reserves and hense all the people who dislike being in Iraq...

Make sure you bring up subjects like that. Like "well are you ready to die for this country?" that's what it's all about. I hate how the commercials make it seem like "yaaa come join the navy/army/marines you'll learn cool things then continue on with your life" once they've got you, they've got you.

That could just be my opinion but that's my stand point on it

Pomeranian <3

Make sure you bring up subjects like that. Like "well are you ready to die for this country?" that's what it's all about.

That's the thing, I'M not ready for him to die for his country!! I don't think I could deal with that which is what scares me most.

UndefinedMelody

He'll be gone for a while, that's something to consider. My SO is in the guard and he will be gone for 7 months for his training and then he will get to come home for a while and then he has to do a tour overseas. The plus side to the Navy is that you won't be going to Iraq (no water!) but he will have to do a tour somewhere else. If you guys can handle the distance there are a lot of benefits.

That's exactly what he was saying to me. He asked me if I could handle him away for awhile. I guess we will have to talk alot about it.  

It really is scary! When I think the Navy I think of WWII and all the blood shed and I'm like yaaaaa screw that... b/c i mean we never know if something else could happen. expect the worst hope for the best

*searching for different option's for Jenny's DH...* haha

I was in the Navy, although during peacetime.  They won't be in Iraq, but they often patrol waters w/in regions nearby fighting zones, esp. if planes are used (think Gulf War #1).  We have had ships patrolling near Bosnia when things were really crazy there (my son's dad was on a carrier there at that time), and there may even still be ships patrolling the Persian Gulf.  They aren't usually in direct combat, but one good missile hit can be a huge problem.

The life of a Navy wife is hard.  You learn to be very independent because they are gone a lot, not just during times of war, but all the time.  They do rotate sea and shore duty, so you do get a reprieve for 2 - 3 years at a whack.   When they come home, it can be a struggle because you are used to doing everything and then the sailors come home and want to be in charge.  It can be esp. difficult if you have kids.

My advice: check into the Air Force.  You're not as likely to be in a combat zone as Marines, Army, and National Guard.  They have the shortest boot camp and the nicest bases.  Of all the services, the Air Force really caters to its people.  And you still get the education benefits when you get out.

 My Dad was in the Navy for 26 years..and my husband has been in the Navy for 4 years, with two more to go. It really isn't that bad, although I say that with more ease considering its the lifestyle I grew up in. My husband is on sea duty (ship or sub)...he hasn't been gone very much...on a ship there will be a 6 month deployment about once every 2 years (here lately..used to be longer, but with Iraq the time in between has shortened). My husband hasn't been on one yet. He'll go out for a week here, back for a month..gone for two months..in for two weeks...gone for a week and home for a month or more. I've gotten used to it and actually love it. My marriage kind of depends on it. I get annoyed with him..he leaves...I miss him, he comes home..and before I have the chance to get annoyed with him again he's gone..it works for us...but def. doesn't work for all.

The good things. Can't get laid off....days off...paycheck, ALWAYS. Some people say they don't get paid well..but you do...some jobs give you extra allowances...you get BAH (money for a house)...food allowance (which 75% is taken when on sea duty).

The bad. Depending on what field in the Navy he goes into, he can be gone A LOT.  Construction, medical and special ops fields have a greater chance of going to Iraq. Some men aren't cut out for it and hate the job, which affects their family life. Moving every 3 years or so...and not being able to stay near family also is a downer and sucks. But on the bright side you'll get to live places you never would of before and see different things.

If you have any questions, just PM and I'd be happy to try and answer them. 

My dad was in the Navy for 22 years and my son in the Marine Reserves for 6 years.  As a child, it was really hard growing up.  We moved alot and never had a chance to make friends or to feel part of a school.  It was hard on my parents and they ended up getting a divorce.  I think because he was gone so much was part of the reason.  I don't think they keep you away as much as they used to, but I think you have to be prepared for whatever may come.  My son was in the reserves at the very beginning of the Iraq period.  As a mom, it was a very difficult time.  I am so very proud that he wanted to serve his country, and yes he is one of those die hard Marines.  It was so hard knowing that he may go overseas and not return.  It is so much easier now to look back and be so very proud that he was willing to serve his country and even risk his life for it.  He only left, because his new wife wanted him to. 

No matter which branch you join, you never know what may happen tomorrow and how being in that branch will be affected.  Each conflict will affect each branch differently and branches other than the Army and Marines may be affected more in the next conflict.  (Hoping there is not another conflict for a very long time). 

 You just need to discuss it and look at ALL possibilities and how it will affect you and your lives.  There are advantages and disadvantages for each branch.

I'm hoping that you can talk it through and look at all aspects and make the very best decision for both of you.  I know it will be really difficult. 

My ex was in the Air Force and my best friend's husband joined the Navy at the same time. As others have said, the Navy can mean a lot of separation. It wasn't right for us but I applaud Navy wives. They have a lot of responsibility but they typically have a very strong support network with the other Navy wives, so that's a huge plus. I personally loved being an Air Force wife and in tough economic times, it's nice to have a secure paycheck with benefits. It also allowed us to spend 4 yrs in Germany. As for the concerns for safety, I didn't really have to deal with that because there wasn't a conflict at the time, so I'm not sure how I'd view that but it's definitely something to consider.

 Thanks everyone, it helps getting everyone's views, especially everyone who has been in a similar situation. We are going to have to sit down and have a nice long discussion about this.

Rupsmom, I'll probably be PMing you. 

My husband is a Navy man, errr was.  He stepped on a ship, didn't like it and got off!  lol  Running joke.  He never actually served on a ship.  He actually worked on airplanes.  He was stationed in Orlando, Tennessee (I think, or Kentucky, not sure which), and then Maryland!  He loved Maryland, made life long friends.  What does he want to do while in the Navy?  My husband did computers/electronics, and worked on the radar and computers on the airplanes.  From the way he talks, it sounded just like college.  Of course, things are a lot different now adays.  If your DH has any questions, I'm sure my DH, would give him any advice he can.  His buddy was also in the Navy (that's how they met) and neither one set foot on a ship, both in the same type of field.  So, if he knows what he wants to get into, or doesn't...like I said, I'm sure my DH would be more than happy to talk with him. 

UndefinedMelody

The plus side to the Navy is that you won't be going to Iraq (no water!) but he will have to do a tour somewhere else.

The Navy is active in Iraq and Iraq borders the Persian Gulf.   Hence the Gulf War ;)

I worked on a naval research base for three summers (admittedly in the chemistry division so not exactly active duty stuff, but I got around to a lot of the other sections). We always had active duty people around, since there was a lot of defense research, satellite, electronic warfare research, etc going on....all I have to say is, Navy people are some of the nicest, most gentlemanly (gentlewomanly also? is that a word?) people I've met.

 There are also three former Marines (retired from active duty at various points) in my veterinary class (weird, huh?) who are just wonderful, wonderful people. Very intelligent, polite, well-spoken and open-minded. You can enter as an officer if you have a college degree, and that is definitely the way to go, or so they tell me (my brother wants to be a Marine so I am collecting advice from them for him).