What should I tell her?(Bullymom)

Tell her that the cat had to go the Rainbow Bridge. I know it's going to be sad. She needs to remember all the good things about him. And being able to handle this will make her better in the future, when she gets another cat. (And you know she will.)

Another thing that has me worried is that I really screwed up.  I brought him into our house without having him tested for feline aids and leukemia.  I know that I should have had him tested but he was so healthy looking that I didn't.  My other cats are not vaccinated against these things because they never go outside.  I had them tested as kittens and all were negative.  What if I have sentenced my other cats to the same fate as Skittles?  I couldn't live with myself if they are sick.  I don't know what killed Skittles.  There are no other stray cats around and I didn't see any damage on the outside of his body.   I am just assuming that he had some sort of illness.  I am calling the vet first thing in the morning and having my cats retested.  I pray the results are the same as before.  One a positive note, when I took Rocky to the E-Vet the other night, they had a 4 month old kitten named Sprout for adoption.  His fee was $60 but he was already vaccinated and neutered.  Depending on the outcome of my cats test results, I might go adopt him for Madison.  DH is laying Skittles to rest as we speak and my heart is breaking.  I cannot believe I was so neglectful.

WAIT! If you save his body, you might be able to have HIM tested. If he's negative, you won't have to haul your other babies in. 

 I am going to take one cat in for testing at first.  If he comes up clean, good!  If not, I guess all of them have the sickness.  They all share one big food bowl and the litter box.  I was told years ago that those diseases were spread by saliva and if they eat out of the same bowl, all cats will get sick.  The cat I am going to have tested first is Spook.  He liked to bully Skittles around.  The other cats basically stayed away from Skittles when he was inside.

I'd hope you also do their shots if they are indeed negative. It might also take time to develop...no? I think you should do a necropsy on the dead cat personally...it'd probably cost less than examining all of the others?

I would re-test the remaining cats.  If they are still negative and you plan on keeping them indoors only, then don't vaccinate.  I do not vaccinate for feline leukemia.  With indoor-only cats, there is a greater chance of developing a tumor from the vaccine than miraculously contracting the disease.  I keep all my cats indoors and only allow new cats (or friend's cats) that have already tested negative.  I'm not sure if there is a vaccine for FIV, but I would re-test for that too. 

He could have died from anything - blood clot, heart attack, it happens. It's not your fault! Generally, a cat with FIV will show some sort of signs. And they CAN live for quite some time! Longer than you would think. Honestly, being as young as Madison is, I think she'll get over it. When *my* kitty died when I was like 6 years old, I got over it that minute. I told my dad the kitty was dead. And that was it. (I remember it differently, but... apparently my memory was wrong).

What did you do with the body? I would send it out to have it looked at. It can be costly to ship it to the lab, but I don't think the actual exam is that costly. Esp. vs. testing your other cats, and of course, the knowledge factor.

Not all show signs, though. We have a great little cat at work who was found with a broken pelvis. She's on her way to mending now, but tested positive for FIV. We kept her, as she was found with a collar on, and placed ads. However, no one replied. The vets felt euthing an otherwise healthy cat for having FIV when they could live in a single cat (or a household with other FIV cats) wasn't right. So, she basically lives in our cat room.

She's a wonderful weight, about 8 years old, and is a sweet, sweet cat.

But, many do become ill, at least at some point. We just had a little year and a half old FeLV cat in that died over the weekend from liver failure.  Very sad

It is true that your cat could have passed from anything. The outdoors just isn't a safe place for kitties. There are poisons, diseases, abscesses, and man other nasty things. If he's not already buried, you could have a necropsy done.

Also, I'd wait to bring another pet in until all of the others are altered. (if the others are not)

grab01

Also, I'd wait to bring another pet in until all of the others are altered. (if the others are not)

All of the other cats are fixed.  Skittles was the only intact one.  I have already buried him.  I thought it was the proper thing to do.  If having the other cats tested costs more, then I'll pay it.  Skittles was already dead and I didn't think it right to have him poked and prodded on.  Just my opinion.  He seemed so healthy though.  I guess things aren't always what they appear.  He will be missed but I don't know what or how to tell Madison.  She's young, yes, but very sensitive.  I don't think that she will take the news too well.  Would it be wrong to tell her that he found another home?  I just want to spare her the hurt that losing a pet can cause. 

I'm sorry about your loss. And since you asked what you should tell her, my answer is to tell her the truth. Don't lie to your daughter. I know she's sensitive and she will cry, but death is a part of life and you're not doing her any favors by lying to her about it. If it comes out later (a slip of the tongue), she would be devastated by your betrayal. JMO.

 As an adult now that was lied too as a kid about our outside cat, tell her.  I prayed for days that God would help Woodsey find his way home.  When my mom found out that I was praying that every night, she finally told me they'd found him up the street on the side of the road weeks ago.

Just tell her.  Help her cope and help her understand.  it will hurt less and will help her deal with grief later in life as well.

As for FIV, my rescued kitty was positive and she declined rapidly within a week or two to the point that she could not walk more than a few steps without laying down.  My sister drove me to the vets with her for the last time, so it can happen quickly too.  Poor Niko.

I would also wait 6 months before bringing in another cat to make sure your guys did not contract it.   

Lily learned about "dead" around that age...we don't do Rainbow Bridge/Heaven here...we went the "back to the Earth to help plants grow" route...but doing what's the done thing in your family is HIGHLY preferably to a lie. Death is indeed...a fact. Facts are best explained as well as you can. Good luck!

Only you can really know what to say or do b/c you know Madison the best.

From my personal experience I remember resenting the fact my mother used to lie to me about my Hamsters & Rabbits. She used to tell me with the hamsters "they ran off to the farm! they are happier there" which used to make me feel like my pets didn't love me. And when my rabbits would die she used to tell me they ran away or "jumped out of the cage and broke their back so we are giving him to the vet"

Being older I know my mom obviously wanted to "protect" me from the pain but the fact is when I was little I thought my animals didn't love me and kept leaving me and it made me feel like CRAP. I guess during my parents divorce (when I was five years old) in therapy I said something like "everyone wants to leave me, even the animals"

I would say be careful how you word it... but the truth is really want needs to be said. Kids need to learn about death, it's a natural thing. BUT like I said you know Madison the best you will know what needs to be said.