jeano
Posted : 4/15/2006 2:21:43 PM
I love Sofia so much that when I found a lump in my breast I cried for hours because I didn't want to be parted from her. The mammogram came back negative, thank God, but you see my point. I have a 'grown' son (in quotes because I think he's trying to put off being older than 19 but he's 25), a boyfriend (we don't live together), siblings but Sofia is my life. I thought about them in passing, but it was Sofia I couldn't bear to be parted from.
Stevie was my heart dog. His death made Sofia and I much closer, and I love her more than anything. But what brought us together the most was Stevie's death. We are both still grieving. We have really clung to each other because of it. It's been over a year, I hope it will get easier one day, but I don't know. Probably not.
I lost my dad in a plane accident when I was 16, and you don't ever get over it. There's always that pain, it's part of being human. That's just life. There is pain and there is joy, and you get to have both.
Sofia is my joy! She is so incredibly beautiful, and funny, and expressive. I see her coyote nature fighting with her dog nature, I always have, and I feel bad for her sometimes. She's kind of stuck between two worlds. Her manner of doing things is so different from a dog-dog's way of doing things. It's like she's tippy-toeing through a world that is alien to her, and things that are routine for a lab or another, well, let's not call them normal, LOL, but let's call them calm and unflappable dogs such as pushing open the bathroom door for the universal dog question, "Are you OKAY in there?" Doing things like that are hard for her. Hunter used to "guard" me in the bathroom. Then he passed on and Stevie took over that job. Now Stevie is gone and Sofia feels she has to do that job, but it's scary for her. I leave the door cracked a little so to make it easier....she puts her nose, then her face in, looks at me with an extremely worried expression, I tell her it's okay....she pushes the door a little bit, it moves, she JUMPS back.......then comes back and ever-so-carefully eases herself in, being verrrrrrry careful not to make the door move again. Then she comes in and gives me the lick on the nose (because obviously I'm the Alpha and I'm marking). Then she lays down. Sometimes she comes and sits right next to the toilet in the little space between the toilet and the wall underneath the toilet paper, as close to me as she can get! The message? I'm here, I'm doing my job! This is a scary room!
You know what your dogs do when you are in the bathroom! The bonk the door open and come right on in. Sometimes they bring you a ball to throw. [

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She's not that timid all the time, but it's clear she's not a dog-dog. She's incredibly loving and sweet and it was three years before she'd let me cuddle her. Before that it was the Wild Thing Let Me Go thrash. Now if SHE wants to cuddle, that's a different story.
Her expressions, talking and dog ballet are all hysterical. I wish I had a video camera. She's like my own, personal National Geographic Special on coyote behavior all the time. She's a nutcake. I'm crazy about her.